riveyoncecuoknowles: drake: hey, kid! give me your lunch money sufjan: I Am Afraid That Will Not Be

riveyoncecuoknowles:

drake: hey, kid! give me your lunch money

sufjan: I Am Afraid That Will Not Be Possible As I Of Course Will Require My Lunch Money To Purchase My Lunch

drake: …what?

sufjan: If You Are In Need Of Your Own Lunch Money I Am Sure Mrs. Paisley In The Principal’s Office Would Be Delighted To Provide You With A Voucher

drake: no, no, no, you don’t understand. i don’t actually need lunch money, i-

sufjan: Then For What Logical Purpose Would You Request My Lunch Money

drake: look, i have these new friends, okay? they told me to come over here and take your lunch money. it’s my first day at this school. there’s a pecking order. if i don’t get in with these guys, i’m gonna have to spend every recess wandering around the playground with no one to talk to. no offense.

sufjan: Why Would I Possibly Take Offense At That Statement

drake: because, uh… you’re kind of just sitting here. on the swingset. all alone.

sufjan: I Am Not Alone! The Other Swings Are Occupied By My Good Friends: Peter The Ox, Dora The Talking Skeleton, And Herb The Dietician.

drake: …right

sufjan: Peter, Dora, And Herb Are Kind Folks And They Would Never Require Me To Secure Their Friendship By Depriving Another Soul Of Lunch Money

drake: …yeah. well, um, i’m just gonna… go…

sufjan: Please Stay! Herb The Dietician Was Just Vacating His Swing To Make Room For You! Weren’t You Herb!

drake: uh… thanks… i guess

sufjan: Herb Can Be A Bit Cantankerous But You Seem Nice What Is Your Name

drake: aubrey

sufjan: Good To Meet You Aubrey My Name Is Sufjan

drake: sufjan… huh…

sufjan: Wow No One Has Ever Pronounced It Right On The First Try Before

drake: it’s a really cool name

sufjan: Thank You Aubrey Your Name Is Cool Too