hjbender: I need to say words about Fandral he is a good boy, a nice boy, do not believe the storie

hjbender:

I need to say words about Fandral

• he is a good boy, a nice boy, do not believe the stories you hear about him (most of them were started by him anyway)
  
• calls everyone “darling”, even royalty
  
• always smells good, like really incredibly good
  
• never combs his hair—never has to, it magically falls into place
  
• knows the name of every flower, its symbolism, its peak bloom, how to arrange it in a bouquet, and which ones go best with battle armor
  
• will trip over himself to open the door for you
  
• if you get on his bad side that door could be the gate to Hel
• never misses an opportunity to quote romantic poetry or recite bawdy limericks
• his friends are his family and he would die twice for them
• is constantly checking his teeth in mirrors
  
• drinks with his pinky out whether it’s a cup of tea or a cold one with the boys
  
• ready at any time to offer his arm, his coat, and/or a shoulder to cry on
  
• do not insult his mustache 
• will give you his honest opinion on your wardrobe, but only if you ask
  
• catchphrase is “For Asgard!” and he uses it no fewer than four times a day
• subsists entirely on a diet of cake and kisses
  
• knows only 3 dance moves but is the master of all of them
• will slap a dude 10x his size with a white kid glove for insulting your honor
  
• likes his boots pointy, his blade pointier, and his wit pointiest
• makes puns about his love of pointy things
• is Asgard’s patron saint of breath mints and lip balm
  
• favorite mode of transportation is swinging from a rope with his rapier in his teeth
  
• the only living creature in all Nine Realms with more sass and dramatic flair than Loki
  
• seriously, Loki respects that level of flamboyance
  
• is available for parties, weddings, and swashbucklings