Eight years ago today, I went on a date with some dude I met at a Kids in the Hall show. He performe

Eight years ago today, I went on a date with some dude I met at a Kids in the Hall show. He performed a magic trick before dinner, made a Light in the Piazza joke to an unamused Boomers cashier, and mercilessly destroyed every child in the laser tag arena - all things which were basically foreshadowed in his email subject lines.

Happy anniversary, Ryan - when the apocalypse hits, I promise to eat you last.