PANIC! At the Cult Mob Talent ContestSeason 3, Episodes 11 Call of Cthulhu: Haunted Hijinx Masterpos

PANIC! At the Cult Mob Talent Contest
Season 3, Episodes 11

Call of Cthulhu: Haunted Hijinx Masterpost
Call of Cthulhu Season Three Masterpost

Warning:This campaign is an edited version of Call of Cthulhu: Song and Dancescenario from the Tales of the Crescent City book. While a lot has been changed, there IS spoilersfor it throughout these posts. ALSO we are currently playing this, so please don’t spoil us either!!Thanks!

SPECIAL SHOUT OUT TO @bertrumstrousers​ WHO APPARENTLY HELPED THREN BY BRAINSTORMING AND PROVIDING SOME OF THE POSSIBLE CONTENT SHE COULD USE FOR BETRUM SHOWING UP IN THE GAME?!?! including some signature words he yells at one point, which still delights me to this day.

ART CHANGES THIS SEASON!!@inkdemonapologist and I are collabing on all the art for these summery posts!! Shazz does lines, and I compose and colour the pieces.

Joey has since had a few rooms of his own secretly installed throughout the building as Thomas has been replacing pipes. He says they’re to have a quiet space where he can be uninterrupted, a lot of them using old abandoned rooms that had become storage for outdated materials. The project was started after the New Orleans Trip though, so it’s more likely… so he can have somewhere hidden to rest.

Hahaha yeah no it’s so he has privacy for like normal Joey extra hard working hours hahahahaha anyways this is where Joey and Sammy end up talking with Prophet, along with Bendy. Sammy has his own questions he writes down on a piece of paper for Prophet to answer on, and Joey silently waits in the background to ask his own questions afterwards. 

His own questions being… how to stop himself from going mad like last time. He doesn’t want to betray Prophet again, but it’s Prophet’s sort of realms that does this to him. So… what to do to stop it? Bendy also has a question about one of the things from Prophet’s last vision, a strangely mundane demonic monster that Sammy’d described, and Prophet does his best to draw it for them.

Meanwhile, Jack ends up checking on the music department. After being asked by Sammy to keep an eye on Jack, Norman follows him around as well. Henry ends up coming in a little late after spending the morning going over a few more things with Linda in preparation, checking on his own department before all of them meet up in the afternoon and go over final plans. While Prophet and Sammy managed to figure out that the cultists’ plan is to put Angels (like those monsters they fought in NOLA) into Susie, Colette, and Nichole, and corrupt the muses possessing them with the Yellow King, they still don’t exactly know how that’s happening, or when, or what Y and his men are going to try to do themselves to get to this goal.

So! Our goal is actually very simple:
Find the girls and get them out of there before the mob can execute their plan. Just be heckin better at kidnapping some ladies out of a public place than a whole buncha mobsters! 

No Problem!!! 

This will surely go… fine!

More specifically, we’re gonna grab the girls, head IMMEDIATELY to the apartment where the circle is already existing with a lot of the supplies needed to finish it, and expel the muses before the goons ever figure out what’s going on.

… from a venue that only a few of us have snuck around in so far and hardly know the layout of.

… during a contest that we have no connections to but the mob clearly does.

Okay, so maybe we need a little more of a plan, just in case we get separated at the start. Sammy and Norman know Susie the mostest, so if we can’t figure out another way to get Sammy back there, those two can just brute force and sneak their way back there, respectively. If Peter can get in the back as Press, bonus. Henry and Jack will secure an exit and be ready to drive if we manage to find any of the girls, just get them out as quickly as possible. And Joey has called upon Leon (Colette’s boyfriend, the nervous doctor guy), Allison, and Timothee (brother of Nichole and gun enthusiast) to get their help; the four of them will run a middle man between the two groups and help with the transfer of any of the girls out of the building.

AND! THAT’S ABOUT ALL THE PLANNING WE CAN DO!! CROSS UR FINGERS AND REMEMBER THAT PROBABLY MOST OF THE MAFIA IS MADE OUT OF WEIRD YELLOW INK SO WE CAN’T JUST TREAT EM LIKE REGULAR HUMANS IF WE GET INTO A CONFRONTATION OKAY EVERYONE IN THE CARS LET’S GO.

Sammy brings up that any performance by one of the muses might get them wrapped up in their current creative addictions, just like how he lost himself the other night and Norman lost hours to dancing before when he met the girls–

THEN DON’T LET THAT HAPPEN OKAY EVERYONE IN THE CARS L E T ‘ S G O.

They arrive at the contest about an hour before it starts, making sure to come in with the crowds and have the vehicles parked far enough away from the entrance they’re not immediately recognized, but with easy road access for getting away once they gotta.

Joey and Bendy and Sammy immediately get distracted looking at Coney Island as they go in, all three of them rather wishing to be there instead of at a stuffy contest. Luckily, Jack and Henry are paying enough attention to point out the signup situation as well as the security situation.

As well as the… familiar band situation. Oh look, they replaced that one dude already. Wouldn’t be a band without a saxophone player after all. 

Sammy and Joey go to see if Susie is already here or not by trying to spy on the sign up lists instead of asking like normal people do until Sammy gets caught trying to spy because he’s terrible at being sneaky. Nobody named Susie Campbell is signed up… but Joey notices there’s a line on the list that just says “Alice.”

So she ishere.

Well, time to start looking then. The plan is altered slightly as we meet up with the others: Norman tries to sneak in the back as a staff member, ends up fumbling on identifying what band member he’s supposed to be by the instrument case he’s carrying (which actually has a gun in it,) but Peter gets the security caught up in checking his press pass and Norman slips through.

As a second wave sneaking back, Leon and Sammy sign up as a music/singing duo (doesn’t matter if Leon can sing or not, we’re planning on not letting performances start on that stage at all if possible.) This is because nobody else actually can easily identify Colette, and on top of that, nobody else knows what to possibly say to her to get her to agree to come with them. 

Timothee and Henry end up posting up back, keeping an eye out on the floor, since they’re the most armed and ready to barge their way into a situation and change it. If something happens, they can intercept, and if we get the girls to them, they can protect. Also Henry has the Bendy Lapel Pin, so there’s a form of communication back to Joey (through Bendy) through that.

Which leaves Allison, Joey + Bendy, and Jack to play middle field; Most sociable, best for blending in, and they can run interference between the two groups if need be.

… SO BASICALLY EVERYTHING IS THE SAME EXCEPT WE SHUFFLED SOME PEOPLE AROUND;;

Sammy and Leon head backstage and start looking around. Sammy is both looking for Susie, but also looking for any magic, ink, changes to the building since he was last here. Hidden doors, weird walls… Nothing suspicious yet, but Peter confirms while passing by that Y is in one of the backrooms, the office with the guarded door. All the players are here.

Which includes,

THE GREAT BERTRUM PIEDMONT

That’s right, BERTRUM IS HERE!!!!!! The contest flyer advertised a famous guest judge for the contest and ITS HIM, GREAT APPRECIATOR OF THE ARTS BERTRUM PIEDMONT,

who is, currently talking very loudly,,, to anyone that will listen to him,,,,,, over near the buffet. About the contest that they’re already at and how great it is, but also about his picks for the hors d'oeuvres and how great those are too.

 Because he is great.

Everyone continues to hold their positions, all looking for the girls. As the room gets more filled and it gets closer to time, Bertrum disappears into the back, and the search becomes a bit more desperate as we try to beat out the mob in this race of sorts. 

But then! Sammy does end up spotting three girls, one of them is absolutely Susie!! Sammy grabs Leon and immediately runs over to catch up with them before they head out onto the floor and disappear into the crowd.

Sammy grabs her arm, and it takes her a few blinks before she goes from simply politely smiling at him, to a recognizable expression. She asks why he’s here instead of at the studio getting ready for the premiere and, gosh, Sorry! Was gonna swing by but then got caught up in–

Doesn’t matter! Sammy starts trying to drag her out with him, insisting that it’s dangerous if she performs here and they need to go right now.

Nicole obviously notices and cuts him off while Leon tries to talk to his girlfriend as well. This gets Sammy rambling for a moment, insisting they all get out of here before the the cult of the Yellow–

Aaaaaaand Peter thankfully steps in very quickly to stop this before the guards start focusing too hard on what’s happening in this corner. Susie is looking a bit shaken, but Nicole steps in and alleviates all their fears. Of course it’s not a cult, why would a cult be having a talent contest. And they can’t just sacrifice someone on stage or whatever publicly like this. That’d be ridiculous. 

And… Sammy nods. Yeah, okay, that makes sense. They can’t snatch them off stage… and if this is the one finally thing the girls need to do before they go with them, okay, fine. Just come back here right after! Or find Joey! One last performance and that’s it!

And he lets them go. 

Susie promises she understands and will find Sammy right after and not go off with anyone else, giving him a kiss on the cheek before disappearing into the floods of people on the floor. Sammy… feels weird. Not just because of how convincing Nicole was, but this doesn’t seem exactly like what he slammed into the other night while trying to reach out with the dream spell. And it doesn’t seem quite like Susie either…

Sammy tells Peter to let the rest of them know of the new plan; let the girls get their last performance in, then go. Because this is a very smart and good decision he made using all of his brain cell. Peter does just that.

(…….remember how Joey’s ability to fast talk people has been SUPERNATURALLY BOOSTED by one of the muses…… tHAT MIGHT BE…. THE ONE NICHOLE HAS……)

But while he’s making his way through the crowds, Joey spots Susie coming down from the back and starts heading towards her to try and convince her himself, since clearly Sammy didn’t manage to catch her in the back. The sooner he can get her to Henry and Timothee, the sooner he can go check on Sammy and make sure he didn’t get kidnapped or something again. 

Though first he tells Allison to maybe not approach Susie unless absolutely necessary. Or be seen by her. Because she is maybe not on the friends list right now and will make this more difficult. Allison simply nods and makes herself scarce.

Joey manages to use his dancing skills to weave through the crowd and get dancing with Susie, who is still surrounded by Nicole and Colette as well. She tries to inform him about the plan she made with Sammy and that everything is fine, which of course he’s having none of. So, he pulls her into a dance to help sell the very touching speech he’s going to deliver, about how he knows what’s going on, and he knows what she’s done, but he can’t let this happen at the risk of losing his Alice Angel.

Susie tears up a bit, because she wasn’t quite sure of herself recently. But before the hook manages to catch, Nicole steps in, frustrated with why everyone keeps trying to ruin their fun, just let them have one last evening together before they can’t anymore JEEZE (we’re gonna ignore the fact this has been going on for a week but ok)

She wants a bang to go out on? Alright!! Then Joey can give her a way better performance opportunity than this. He has a whole theater lined up this weekend, filled with big names in the entertainment industry, people who worked with singers and dancers for movie productions all over New York to see his feature film. If they go with him right now, he will make sure to give them a stage far larger than this one, but if they go through with this silly contest tonight, they might never do anything together again because of the men hunting them right now. Which, by the way? Bertie back there may have done amazing work for Coney Island and be a fancy name, but apparently he is only here for the friggin tiny sausages. Meanwhile, Joey will make the entire stage theirs. 

Speaking of.

The lights go down. The stage lights up, and from the curtains emerges

The Great Bertrum Piedmont

And starts on his long rambles of introducing himself and getting the crowd’s energy up all on their adoration of him. Of course. He actually hasn’t picked up the mic yet he’s just that loud and attention grabbing that the entire room kinda simmered down. Peter whispers that he’s heard this guy is a pain to try to stop interviewing. JOEY WILL REMEMBER THIS…

While this is happening and Joey has been going back and forth with Nicole, Susie manages to disappear on him and head towards the line up of contestants as Bertrum gets the singing contest started.

And… also starts picking off contestants. Quite quickly. Apparently he’s not only picky about the hors d'oeuvres, but also music? Hardly letting a lot of them get their songs started even before interrupting them.

And Alice is a name that isn’t far down the list.

Joey frantically starts waving everyone from where they are and pointing towards the girls, just trying to get them to do SOMETHING to stop all of this. They CAN’T LET THEM PERFORM. Sammy is still waiting backstage, since, uh, the plan was to let them sing and whatever anyways; but Henry catches Joey’s frantic waving, and being fluent in Joey, heads over to try and convince Susie to come with him. Somehow. Henry meets her near where Jack is, and she starts trying to tell him as well of the “plan” Sammy agreed to as he tries to usher her out. Knowing Sammy, WHO SPECIFICALLY WARNED EVERYONE NOT TO LET THEM PERFORM, Jack immediately sees that something went wrong, and heads towards the back stage to find him and make sure he’s okay since Sammy wouldn’t have just agreed to such a plan.

Susie’s grown more concerned by the boys’ determination, and Henry actually does manage to convince her and doesn’t need to opaquely grab and run, since for once, Nicole is not around. But Joey has lost sight of Colette now, and Nicole is still being stubborn, and something will clearly be up the moment the muse-infused girls don’t show up. SO IT MIGHT AS WELL BE UP NOW.

Joey leaps up on stage between singers during a long pause and grabs the mic, putting on his showman persona and pulls out a good ol’ “Well, while we’re waiting for that contestant to make it out to the floor, why don’t you tell us a bit more about yourself!”

Which works of course. He’s

The Great Bertrum Piedmont!

And he has SO MUCH to tell you all about himself.

While on stage, Joey notices four things.

The band is no longer hanging out in the bandstand. Okay, this was expected, and Joey is aware he will probably have goons on him very soon.
Timothee has managed to find Nicole and is currently talking with her. Good.
Henry is heading towards the exit with Susie. Good.
Colette… is nowhere to be found. That one, iiiiiiisssssss,,, less than good….? Actually it’s very bad.

Joey disappears into the curtains as the first band-goon shows his face, starting to climb onto the front of the stage, letting Bertie continue on now that he has the initial nudge of momentum to start going. 

Which he does.

Jack manages to find Sammy in the back (after… probably lifting someone’s ticket,) and is immediately met with the very normal “What the Fuck is Joey Doing” response. It’s almost a secondary secret company slogan at this point. Jack asks him about this “New Plan” he’s apparently made, and as he gets talking about it Sammy slowly realizes… what he’s saying. Jack helps finish that nail off by reminding him of how bad the situation is going to be the moment any one of them performs.

Okay, yeah, Jack’s probably right. Let’s go get the girls out of here now. They run back out to the floor with Leon and start trying to find the girls. They manage to spot Susie and Nicole in the crowd, but before they can find Colette, Jack points out another one of the band goons is making his way towards Nicole. Since it looks like Henry has Susie heading towards the exit, OUR band boys decide to run interference. Also Peter. Leon heads out onto the dance floor to find his girlfriend and sorta disappears.

The one band goon heading towards Nicole tries to start with convincing them that he just needs to talk with Nicole backstage while trying to push his way through Jack, Sammy, Peter and Timothee who are all sort of getting in his way. So he also waves over some of the general security in the place to help out. Luckily, this all helps out Timothee’s case, and he convinces Nicole to go finally, so they manage to start pushing towards the exit after Henry and Susie while Jack, Peter and Sammy stall.

Joey, between the layers of curtains, uses a toon arm to reach up to the catwalk and zoop himself up there before the goons can find him, expecting them to come from both sides. This indeed confuses the goon, as he’s left scratching his head about where Joey possibly could have gone and starting to look behind the other curtains. Meanwhile Joey tries to sneak across to the opposite side of the catwalk so he can, hopefully, just disappear completely and leave them searching. Before jumping down, he looks out over the crowd to try and get an idea of the situation again, and sees the goons heading towards one of the back doors at the other end of the stage from him, with another person pushed between them all, in a very planned manner… Well, so much for sneaking down.

Now that two of the girls are near escaping and Sammy has become what he’s second best at, being a completely immovable and bothersome object the moment he’s pissed off, the goon decides to shake things up: He yells and fires off a gun, which immediately brings up a whole chorus of screaming as people start to panic, including 

The Great Bertrum Piedmont 

yellingBLOODY SCAMPER!!! and helping the panic be even more panic. The goon attempts to use the chaos to run after the girls, but despite initial shock of gun fire, Sammy immediately launches himself to stop him. He manages to stop him, but only because, perhaps, he is busy starting to turn one of his hands into some yellow claaaws? Yike,

While Sammy is freaking out a bit about the transformed hand, Jack catches the security guy who was waved over, and uses the new panic caused by the guy who was yelling right as a gunshot went off and is now getting into a fight with Sammy, to try and convince him that THIS GUY is actually the one causing a commotion and security needs to deal with him. Also uhh… his hand is. Weird.
The goon starts trying to struggle and break out of Sammy’s grip while this is happening. Sammy manages to swing him around and punch him though, and the security guy finally sees the claws. So he uh, maybe takes some sanity damage from that, but also is now convinced that this band dude is absolutely the problem and starts working to remove him.

Or, try.

Henry manages to make it outside with Susie, while Timothee and Nicole are somewhat behind them but still making good time. But now the panic is causing a whole crowd of people to start moving towards the exit too and it’s about to get a lot harder to find each other and get out. Though once Susie is out of the building, Allison reveals herself near the entrance to the dance floor, standing on one of the tables and starting to calm people, using her powers to convince them they’d agreed to follow her out instead, and getting them out of the way. It doesn’t make the crowd less big, but people are moving out of the building quicker now, which will be good for when the rest need to run.

Joey has control of the spotlights, so he ends up grabbing one and turning it on the group of “band members” heading towards the back door, in an attempt to see better who they’re escorting, but also to blind them of what he’s doing above. Actually, he runs down the line and turns ALL the spotlights on them, assuming they probably have one of the girls just by the fact that Leon is STILL aimlessly wandering the dancefloor. And while they’re squinting at that, he goes and does what you’d do in any cartoon to stop a bad guy: throw a pulley break and drop a sandbag on him. Both Peter and 

T h e   G r e a t   B e r t r u m   P i e d m o n t

had noticed the spotlights turning, but one of them runs towards the shine while the other runs away into the backstage dressing rooms. 

I’m sure you can guess which one does what.

Sammy is still fighting with the band goon, who is quite intent on capturing him or something, which is terrifying, actually, but Sammy responds to fear by punching, while the goon tries to pin him down. Which, after some wide throws, Sammy manages to leave himself open enough that the goon guy grabs him around the center and throws him over his shoulder. Sammy of course is kicking and yelling. Jack is panicking and ends up just running towards him and trying to tackle the goon to do???!? ANYTHING TO GET SAMMY FREE? He doesn’t manage to build up enough strength to throw a snake this guy around and actually ends up being kicked back into a table. Leon rushes over now that the room is somewhat cleared out and he’s rather sure Colette is not around, and tries to help Jack up. The security guard finally decides enough is enough, pulls out his kNIFE?!?? And runs in to knife this… mONSTER?!?! While Sammy is still flailing around in his arms…

Joey looks down from the catwalk to chase after the group and notices that… the man under the sand bag… the liquid around him… is not yellow.

It’s red.

Oh no, that’s not– Joey takes a moment as he’s kicked in the head right out of cartoon world by the reality of this all. During that he does hear yelling in the back, specifically the loud voice of

The Great Bertrum Piedmont

complaining to SOMEONE about how they got him into this mess, they better bloody well get him out of it! He also manages to spot Peter who had run over. Good, anything else to think about besides the sandbag. He does the ladder slidey thing down, quickly informs Peter that the goons are still dragging someone to the back, and then immediately goes chasing after them, leaving Peter to take his own moment of “There’s a squished guy under a sand bag” sanity damage.

Joey slides into the hallway to see the back doors shoved open and a car speeding off, with all the goons and their captive in the back and, probably Bertie, in it. There’s a moment of trying to figure out if he can hecking chase down a car, when something else clicks.

He doesn’t need to chase down the car. He knows where they’re going.

That drawing from Prophet’s vision? 

It finally makes sense.

He knows of the demonic monster of Coney Island.