so-much-to-play-with: There is a bitter taste to realize that danger and its counterpart, safety, ar

so-much-to-play-with:

There is a bitter taste to realize that danger and its counterpart, safety, aren’t the first things in some tops and doms’ mind while they’re in charge of their partner’s health. I still see myself as a beginner on most of BDSM subjects so I tend to read as much as I can, randomly, to forge my opinion and learn from other’s experience. Yet, from the very beginning, and at all times since then have I prioritized my Little One’s well-being.

This is something I try to convey when someone ask for my advices or when I give a lesson. Your partner is surrendering its life to you. You are in charge. You are responsible of what’s happening. There is mental and physical danger in what you’re going to do. Yet, I too often see it’s not understood, or worse, willingly put aside. I mean… How is that even acceptable? How did you not see that, BDSM, at its core, is made for your partner? Jeopardizing her safety over your pleasure is wrong in so many levels!

Yesterday, as I taught some rope harnesses to beginners, there was a critical moment. The only stern one of the whole evening, while others were lightened with smiles and jokes. The one where I told them all the damages their model could encounter if they messed up. Broken bones, dislocated limbs, damaged nerves and paralysis… You can’t play if you don’t know or acknowledge the risks. Learn, seek experienced people, talk, use your damn common sense!

Once the power is exchanged, our relationship should follow this aphorism (stolen from @instructor144): First her needs, then mine, next my wants, then hers.

At the very moment she surrenders to me, I become her world. I won’t shatter that world by egoism.