THE RED WEDDING In an imaginary alternative Westeros, where Christmas was celebrated as a real thing

• THE RED WEDDING

In an imaginary alternative Westeros, where Christmas was celebrated as a real thing and where ~tolerance~ was accepted by all, the young Lannister twins, golden lions of Casterly Rock were getting ready for what would be not only the best Christmas of their lives, but the best day of their lives.

Indeed on Christmas Day of that year, Year of the Lion, Cersei and Jaime Lannister, age 25, were going to get married. The whole realm was impatiently awaiting this event, as it would bring joy and fairy smiles into everybody’s hearts, and mostly because they had been waiting for it for what seemed to be their whole lives. 

As it was, the joyful crowd was screaming and clapping in the streets, some wearing some Santa hats, some simply wearing a huge smile.

Inside, Tywin and Joanna Lannister, Lord and Lady of Casterly Rock, euphoric parents of the happy couple, were giving out Santa Hats to all of their guests (all the Houses of the Seven Kingdoms were there! EVERYONE WAS HAPPY.)

And Cersei and Jaime walked through the great hall. Everyone could, in that unique moment, see for themselves why they were commonly called the most beautiful woman and the most beautiful man of Wasteros. Their Santa hats didn’t seem out of place at all, even if it was wedding, and were actually matching with their golden hair, and their piercing green eyes. They were holding hands, smiling widely, and they waved at their guests.

And the rest is history.

Because of obvious twincest reasons, the ceremony was to be private, so they went back to their room (or Cersei’s room, which would now become their room.) The official ceremony would be outside, without them taking part of it, because that makes total sense. 

They would get married as they entered the world, holding each other tightly and when he is inside me i feel whole aaaaahhhh, and everything was going to be beautiful. First they stared at each other and whispered “I do” together, and then they exchanged their vows.

Jaime was the first to speak, a single tear rolling down his cheek : “I’ve always known, we’ve always known we couldn’t live without each other. One soul in two bodiesand you make me feel complete we’ve been saying this forever why would, we came into this world together and we belong together, and we’ll live together, always together. I need only you. Ever. I love you. Lalala.”

Then it was Cersei’s turn, and joy was literally bursting out of her : “I love you. You’re all I want for Christmas. You’re all i want for the rest of my life. You’re all I ever want. I love you.”

And they kissed and they embraced and outside everyone cried and cheered and it was indeed the best Christmas Westeros had ever known.

The Red Wedding would be remembered forever as one of the most glorious moments in the history of the Seven Kingdoms.