I took this picture right before my first Mother ceremony in summer 2018 Crazy what a journey it has

I took this picture right before my first Mother ceremony in summer 2018 Crazy what a journey it has been since then. I’m deeply grateful for much I have learned about this beautiful work and how different my last experiences were compared to the beginning of this adventure. Truly so so glad I didn’t let the deeply confusing and physically agonizing encounters stop me from exploring this medicine further… But there was a deep inner knowing, a calling that ultimately guided me to a ceremony where I finally felt safe to fully surrender to the experience - even when I had thought that’s what I was doing already… A space where I felt really supported and held, where I could build trust again and learn how to work with the medicine instead of struggling against it and getting lost in doubts.

And today I’m SO grateful for all the details that made those first six experiences so challenging for me - because I was able to learn what might be needed for people with a lot of trauma and abuse, how to deal with resistances - and in what forms they can show up, how different these journeys can be and especially how important the integration afterwards is…
Since then I sat down with the Mother a couple of times and also explored other healing plants, one of which will be the focus of the initiation I am preparing for currently.

I’m feeling a mix of reverence, gratitude, love and deep joy when I think about guiding another group through a plant medicine retreat over the next few days. Deeply excited to open up this space, serve, sit, dance, sing, hold and vanish in pure devotion and presence. I feel home when I do this. It’s hard to explain - but I witness my human doing things I never learned or thought of before. As if I have been doing this for years… and in readings and channelings I was told that I actually have in other lifetimes. It’s beautiful how it all makes sense - my astrology chart, human design, numerology,… And yet I don’t identify with it. I know that I’m none of it. More than ready to learn more and gather what I need to birth what has been growing inside of me. I’m trusting the divine timing of it all ✨ #plantmedicine
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