¡Hola Papi!: I Caught My Manager On Grindr. Should I Tell His Wife?Welcome to ¡Hola Papi
¡Hola Papi!: I Caught My Manager On Grindr. Should I Tell His Wife?
Welcome to ¡Hola Papi!, the preeminent advice column by John Paul Brammer, a Twitter-addled gay Mexican with chronic anxiety who thinks he can fix your life. If you’re a queer person facing a dilemma — maybe you’re thinking about dumping your partner (they forgot your birthday), fighting with your roommate (they never pitch in for groceries), or being haunted by a gay ghost in your attic (the screams won’t stop and the cleansing ritual has failed) — we’ve got you covered.
If you need advice, send him a question at [email protected]. Be sure to begin your letter with “Hola Papi!” It’s part of the whole deal.
¡Hola Papi!
I work in a corporate office for a large company, and I’m the only person who reports to my manager. We’re a small team and our personalities click pretty well, so my manager and I have a tight working relationship and a closer-than-average personal relationship in spite of our age difference (I’m mid-20s, he’s mid-50s).
Here’s the thing: I recently opened Grindr at work (something I regularly do) and noticed a new person with no photo or info listed except for his age. The app listed this person as nine feet away from me. Curious as to who this might be, I walked around the floor to triangulate this person, and it looked like it could be one of two people — one being my manager. And the profile age matched my manager’s age!
A little suspect, I starred the profile. The next week, I attended an offsite meeting at my manager’s house, which is in a low-density suburban area. When I arrived (I was the first one there), I opened Grindr. The same profile had been online 20 minutes before and was now 12 feet away.
I’m sure this profile is my manager, and I feel incredibly awkward about it. While I haven’t messaged the profile, it feels odd to know that my (presumably) happily married manager is on Grindr. I cannot stop thinking about it. Do I say something? Do I shut up? Help me, Papi.
Best,
Grindr Findr
Hi, Findr!
If your boss isn’t messaging you, and if the situation isn’t impacting your daily grind (ha!), then his anonymous profile isn’t your business and you shouldn’t bring it up. Thanks for your question!
Now, please enjoy this interview I conducted with noted bee expert Gwen Pearson of Purdue University. I am very concerned about bees, as I read somewhere that they are dying, and she knows a lot about bees.
I need to know more about bees. I have been thinking about them a lot lately. First and foremost, are the bees really dying?
Well, which bees?
Oh, shit.
Everybody is super worried about honey bees, and honey bees are going to be fine. They’re a global species. They’re domesticated. They are not native to the United States, in fact. They were brought over when the Europeans invaded.
Oh my God. They’re colonists?
Exactly, yes.
Wow. And they had my sympathy for the longest time.
OK. In terms of native bees, our best estimate is that there are about 3,999 American bees that are native and not introduced species. Honey bees are of a concern because they are some people’s livelihood. So it’s not good — I’m sorry, Is someone being throttled wherever you are? What is that sound?
