From this picture you can clearly see it’s just water. But from my perspective I thought it was Daddy’s whiskey. My body tense in fear of spilling, of not being able to follow such a simple task and of disappointing him.
You can see the ropes that bound me all the way down ensuring that I couldn’t find a way for the wiggles to escape through my legs. No squirming for me unless I wanted to ruin the predicament he placed me in. You can see the redness start to spread across my bottom from the spanks he gave me. Of course he spanked me, why would he make this an easy task for me? And the fear of spilling his drink only grew more each time the force of his hit jolted through my body. It felt like I was losing no matter how hard I tried to freeze any movements. You can see my hand, the one form of movement that I literally clung onto. Strained fingers hesitantly stretching as if that movement alone could make up for all the tension aching through the rest of my body.
What you can’t see… how each breath felt like a betrayal and the tears that pooled in my eyes each time I couldn’t keep my body glued in place when I was spanked. The way he’d touch my shoulders to remind me to keep them down and to keep them still. And this picture also doesn’t show the moment the glass spilled over, the liquid running down my neck and with it all the built up pressure and tears I had been holding back. You can’t see the way my body caved thinking I had failed. You can’t see how instantly he dove in to pick up the glass and all my emotions along with it. The way he scooped up my shaking body and held it. Keeping me safe until all my pieces and thoughts reconnected, not only to myself but to him as well. Holding me until I felt whole and wholly his.
One year ago.
I can still remember the feeling of the liquid running down my neck and how quickly @nefarious-kinks was there to comfort me.
“It is important to have a mix - to play with the ball more than ever before + be the 11th outfield player - not 10 footballers and 1 goalkeeper.”
“That is so clear. Which is especially seen in every successful team. Very important in modern football tactics. Psychologically you need to be focused and strong.” [Their Pitch podcast]
A certain goalkeeper from the men’s team should take notes
