#comics
We need to once more delve into the world of mind bending nonsense that is the Hostess ads
“Kwirkegard, a philosophically sinister villain”
What in the actual fuck does that even MEAN
Is he a sinister philosopher?
Is his sinister-ness something philosophers are debating?
Does he have a sinister philosophy for life?
WHAT DO THESE WORDS MEAN
He proceeds to attack New York with a “Depression Ray” while calling them “Puny humans”
Wait so is Kwirkegard an alien?
A mutant?
A robot?
An Inhuman?
What the hell is he
Iron Man consults with the only crackpot scientists so deranged that they’re theories are somehow real in this world of nonsense and one of them gives the learned opinion that depression rays are ruining New York’s water
Kwirkegard seemed to be shooting at a river so I don’t know how that would affect anyone unless they’re drinking straight from the river like a moose in which case never mind depression, they’re going to be dead in less than a week from the pollution
“Kids haven’t been affected because they haven’t forgotten how to play”
Or because they’re drinking bottled water and not just sticking their head in a lake
Iron Man tracks down the villain and is hit by the depression ray and spends less than a single panel wondering if he can beat the crap out of people if he can’t enjoy it before deciding that yes he can
You might think “Wait Hostess Twinkies have played no part in this plot” and your right they haven’t
The writer seemed to suddenly remember “Wait this was meant to sell snack cakes” and so suddenly a group of random kids show up loudly talking about how great twinkies are and Iron Man, a billionaire genius inventor who has the resources of the Avengers and multiple space empires on speed dial informs them that it’s entirely up to them and their love of Twinkies to save New York because I guess he’s just too busy beating people up for being philosophically sinister to help
I have so many questions right now
The Tequila Sexorcist is something I want to have put on a shirt now :D
Ah yes Superman’s greatest enemy…HERCULES
