#fire emblem

A friend and I are writing a smash bros high school fanfic— it looks pleasant in art but lemme tell you it’s on heights of stupidity you can’t imagine. Also Sakurai and Nintendo ship Shulk and Robin and you can’t tell me otherwise. Look on the character selection screen and you’ll know what I mean

vieryplus:

You’d think Brigid would be more concerned about their princess in an actively warring nation.

Hilda likes Marianne’s neck

“Professor…”

Soft mornings

There’s not enough fan art so I’m making my own

The last line of their ending is so gooooood

⚠️WARNING: This story has SCAT-ADJACENT KINKS(Soiling)!⚠️

⚠️STOP READING NOW if you’re not into that!⚠️

⚠️You’ve been warned!⚠️

Neglected posting this one for a while. No more! Enjoy if you’re into this sort of thing!

Premise:Dark Magic REQUIRES certain bodily preparations before casting! If a caster isn’t prepared with an herb to absorb the excess dark energy, it can cause some metabolic processes to explode!

Byleth somehow missed that fact. Now her, Marianne, Bernadetta, and Dorothea have to suffer for it…

Length: ~3400 Words

-Twitter (Where I’m at the most!) | Patreon|AO3|Hentai Foundry-

“I’m sorry I’m late, professor.” Edelgard announced. “Unlike our resident Dark Mages, I haven’t built a tolerance for this sort of magic. I brought the essentials to prevent disaster, given… You know…”

Byleth’s attention darted to the back of the classroom. What was that Edelgard said? Whatever, she was already too absorbed in her lecture to properly respond to her question. She greeted the princess and resumed her seminar as normal.

Teaching something beyond your normal areas of expertise is difficult. Giving a seminar on Dark Magic, a class Byleth couldn’t even master, felt extraordinarily challenging. Yet, she seemed to be doing it! Things were going swimmingly so far for Byleth!

It was an interesting way to spend a Sunday, that was for sure. Normally Byleth preferred to walk about and explore the monastery on these lazy days, but the occasional seminar led to some nice growth for her and her students. Perhaps with her efforts, this gaggle of students would be able to become apt Dark Mages and get early access to Fiendish Blow!

This assortment was an odd group for sure. Dorothea was the only real type she expected to attend this sort of event, an outgoing extrovert with a history of spell slinging. Perhaps she just wanted to flirt with the professor again, but she did at least seem to be taking complicated notes. Jeez, was her outfit always that skimpy? Byleth couldn’t help but notice she bore cleavage and some exceptionally short skirts most days. Gosh, Dorothea seemed to be intentionally tempting her whenever they were locked in more one on one affairs… and Byleth had to admit, it wasn’t not working.

Then, there were two oddballs. Marianne certainly had the magical prowess to consider a course in dark magic, but she didn’t exactly seem like the sort to pursue extracurricular activities. Normally, she was off in the church or the stables, trying to stay away from as many people as possible. What a sight seeing her come out here on a Sunday to study! Perhaps her thick outer shell was starting to shed…

Marianne certainly had trouble interacting with people but Bernadetta… It was a miracle seeing her here. Not only was she held up in her room nearly every moment possible, but she wasn’t really talented at magic at all! That girl was far more talented with her bow and her horseback riding skills… Did she think she had to learn this sort of thing to be a high ranking horseback class? Did she not know Bow Knight existed and she didn’t have to be a Dark Knight? Byleth would have to pry after class to see what exactly had driven her here.

Lastly, the newest head in the lot, Edelgard sat amongst the students, already taking notes with that same intensely serious vibe she had to all education she consumed. It was as if every bit of information she consumed here was forming the foundation of her empire rule. It was flattering, then, that she’d taken such an interest in Byleth’s teachings. Also, it was someone present who actually did wield dark magic already! At the very least, if they were doing something horribly wrong later on, she’d be able to give some input…

The seminar droned on for a bit as the four attendees put beginner’s facts to pen and paper. Byleth talked as in depth as she could about the history of the magic and its ties to forces outside the Church of Seiros. Then came the time for demonstration. Dusty, decrepit copies of Miasma Δ were passed around the classroom to the four girls.

“Now, turn to page 102 and recite the spell enclosed.” Byleth instructed.

“Is it um… Is it this page?” Marianne quietly asked. She began to read the spell name on her own volition. “V-vobis Assidere”

To Marianne’s surprise, a small haze of red and purple materialized on her desk. The strange gas cloud vanished in seconds, but it was still evident things had worked. Marianne had just cast her first dark magic spell!

“Yes, indeed.” Byleth nodded. “That should let you cast the most mild form of Miasma. It’s of no real harm, unless you’re a small mammal.”

Byleth recited the spell herself. “Vobis Assidere!”

A small cloud of dark magic materialized before Byleth’s podium. A perfect demonstration.

Next, the rest of the class took their try.

“V-vobis Assidere!” Bernie squeaked out. Her wobbling lips turned to a smile as the spell materialized on the desk.

Now Dorothea took her turn. “Vobis Assidere!”

A small puff of smog appeared. She tried it again.

“Vobis Assidere!” Another success!

“Vo-bis Ass-i-de-re~!” She sang. Another successful casting! It seems dark magic was easy as could be for a black magic inclined student like herself.

Edelgard didn’t join the group, at first. She simply looked on in confusion. This didn’t seem right… What about all the prep work she’d done? Hubert and Lysithea had been very explicit in parroting the information their first dark magic instructors had given them. Had they… Had they passed out the Purple Veronas before she arrived?

“Professor?” Edelgard began. The class turned its attention her way.

“I believe I must have arrived too late to receive any herbs to counteract the side effects of casting dark magic for the first time…”

Edelgard grew increasingly concerned as the four other women looked puzzled at what she was saying.

“Um… You know… A simple curse-repellent plant? Something to sit in the system and absorb the dark energies associated with casting this sort of magic? Of course, if left unchecked, such strong magical forces can expedite certain metabolic processes and cause…” Edelgard continued.

Byleth looked confused. She gave a blank stare… Most of Byleth’s emotions were blank stares, but Edelgard could tell this was one of legitimate confusion. Byleth didn’t recognize a word El was saying.

“Professor, I… Do you really not know what happens if you don’t-”

“Oh um… O-oh no…” Marianne quietly murmured.

Shortly after that little peep, Marianne’s face twisted into a most uncomfortable look. She shut her eyes tight, bit her lip, and looked as if she was bracing for something…

“What’s wrong Marianne?” Dorothea concernedly asked.

Marianne didn’t answer. Her face took on the strongest, strangest blend of embarrassment and… straining? It was a profusely confusing facial expression to digest, made seemingly more mysterious by the strange muffled noises coming from under her dress…

“Oh, goddess. I’m sorry.” Marianne murmured, just barely in the audible range of the rest of the students. “I always knew I was no better than horse manure. Thank you for this sign that I was correct…”

No one knew what to make of it, outside of Edelgard. Her eyes went wide. Her professor really hadn’t taken that very basic step to Dark Magic usage…

“Oh… Oh my god…” She murmured.

“Professor, did you not… Did you not make certain all your students had suitable constitutions before performing dark magic?” Edelgard asked. “Just a taste of Purple Veronas would have made sure the um… Side effects of practicing Dark Magic don’t happen…”

“Th-there’s so much…” Murmured Marianne, her ailment still seemingly known to only Edelgard.

This was going to get messy. They needed a white mage, stat. The imperial princess rose from her seat, then hustled out of the classroom. She needed to get help, and she certainly didn’t want to see this…

Byleth was still befuddled as the head of her house departed. She turned to the chalkboard and tried to resume her lesson as normal, passing off Marianne’s murmuring as just some new flavor of her social reservedness.

“Now, Miasma, on top of being one of the lightest forms of Dark Magic, also has a handy side effect of-”

PRFFTLLL~!

Byleth froze. Dorothea and Bernie looked on in shock. Did… Did the professor just let loose a big booming fart in the middle of a lecture!?

Byleth craned her neck back to the rest of her students, a deep red blush staining her face.”I’m… I’m quite sorry about tha-aAAAAA~!”

Byleth screamed in shock as her asshole suddenly parted open once more! Her body betrayed her as it desperately tried to relieve itself of the horrible burden that had filled her bowels practicing magic!

It was all instinct, her body flinching into position from that most basic of animal intuitions to purge herself of a fat dump. Byleth’s knees descended into a bend rapidly. Her back arched. Her mouth went wide in a gasp. Her asshole bloomed and erupted a thick, hard, brown head of shit barreling into the seat of her panties! Byleth was pooping herself right in front of her students!

The toll casting forbidden spells took on the body became more apparent by the second to Byleth and the two of her three students not yet dumping ass in their clothing. Not only did this magic trigger the body into uncontrollable shitting, but it filled the system to boot! Byleth was pooping as if she hadn’t been in days, pushing inch after inch of painfully wide girl turd into her rapidly distending pair of shorts!

Just one fat, hard, constipation-esc turd was hardly the full extent of this monstrous release, though. As Byleth strained and pushed, trying so hard to end this uber embarrassing nightmare of failing to teach potty training correctly, it just kept coming! Nearly a full 30 seconds into passing this gigantic log, a fucking anaconda of a shit that must have had two or three feet coiling out of Byleth’s pretty plump butt, and it still hadn’t broken off!

Poor Dorothea and Bernie had to watch it all. Their eyes stared frozen as their Teacher kept gasping and grunting, steadily filling a pair of bulging, growing, and steadily more and more ruined shorts. Thank the goddess Byleth wore tights. In no time at all, the mess was escaping out the sides of her shorts and kept from splattering against the floor only by the firm grip of those ridiculously patterned leggings of hers.

The duo couldn’t believe what they were seeing. Their attention shifted back to Marianne as a particularly noisy fart escaped her. Now it was all too obvious what problem was ailing her earlier! Marianne was shitting herself too! Not even her long dress could hide the bulging mass of hot shame pressing against her ass!

“S-sorry, I couldn’t hold on…” Marianne defeatedly apologized. “I guess pooping myself is just another flaw I have…”

Honestly, it didn’t seem very much out of line from Marianne’s normal profuse apologies. The poor girl gave speaking up too loudly and publicly shitting herself the same level of sorry. As fun as it might have been to gawk at that, Dorothea and Bernie had far bigger problems on their hands. Both of them had cast Miasma too, without whatever herb Edelgard took to apparently stop this madness. They were next!

Dorothea went wide eyed as the reality of what was about to happen hit her. “Oh… Oh my-”

“G-GAAAAAAH!” Bernie shrieked. “I’ve got enough problems already! I don’t want to poop my pants in front of a bunch of people! What will they say!? I’ll never be able to be seen in public! I’ll never be able to come out of my room! I…”

Bernadetta’s normal involuntary reflex of meltdown panic froze for a second. For a split second, the corners of her face gave the faintest bit of a smile. Then, a look of panic set back in… Though, it looked far less intense than her typical frantic panic storms.

“Uh… Oh no! Everyone look away, I’m pooping myself!” Bernie remarked in an odd tone. The words came off as worried, but the infliction in her voice rang insincere.

Bernie got into a pose letting her ass hang off of the seat. Unlike Marianne and Byleth who’s mega dumps suddenly snuck up on them, Bernie seemed to be forcefully pushing. Moments later, her efforts were rewarded. The aftermath of her Miasma usage came throttling out of her bottom with startling speed!

With a horribly sloppy sound, coils of fresh waste came careening out of her, touching silk instantly and ballooning Bernie’s panties full in mere moments! It was a shocking sensation; Bernie flinched and let out a sharp gasp as her bowels thundered out far more waste than any other single movement in her life. It felt so bizarre, as if she were defecating shit as thick as a constipated dump, but with the speed of diarrhea!

Yet, compared to her normal panic at anything the slightest bit wrong, Bernie was on an atypical level of not-frazzled at the whole ordeal.

“O-oh no!” Bernie remarked, a giant snake of adump still slithering out of her, distending that pair of cotton panties down to the back of her knees. “I-it looks like I pooped myself real bad! This is SO embarrassing! It’s traumatizing! Tell you what, you all tell everyone Bernie went through something awful and she’s going to be in her room for a few days sobbing it out! I’m a delicate girl after all! That sound good!?”

Bernie scanned the crowd of girls for reactions. Byleth was trying very hard to waddle away from the chalkboard without any more of her titanic accident escaping her overflowing shorts and descending any farther down her legs. Marianne was praying for the goddess to forgive her for whatever deed she’d done to incur such a violent bowel spasm. Dorothea was still jaw agape and eyes wide as she watched her friends defecate what had to be at least a collective two to three dozen pounds of shit.

Good enough of an answer for Bernie. “O-okay! I-I’ll see you guys when I next come out of my room for the next mission! O-or maybe later! Ooh, that sounds so nice! I uh… Oh please don’t judge me too harshly for pooping myself! Oh no! Oh no…”

Bernie darted away from her seat and hustled back to her room at her top speed, or at least her max speed with an unholy dark magic induced poop bulge growing beneath her butt. The girl was gone. The sound of distant splats made it evident her leg holes may have distended a bit too far containing her human cow pat…

The lone soul left without ruined underwear was Dorothea. Was she just… lucky? Did her lack of a crest prevent this ridiculous dark magic backfiring from happening?

Oh. Oh no. Dorothea thought about it a bit more. Marianne had cast it first. Then Byleth. Then Bernie. Then her… three times.

Holy fucking shit, she needed to get out of her before she flooded the goddamn floor.

Dorothea started to leave the room. She needed a toilet. It was a miracle she wasn’t dumping at least a third of her body weight onto the classroom tile already, or that even the cramps of taking such a titanic dump hadn’t set in. She hustled as quickly as a fast walk in heels could move her, rushing out the door into the cold evening air of a winter night. Darkness had already set. The walkways were empty. Thank fucking Sothis for that.

A tummy rumble rang out. Then, a guttural roar like some sort of gastrological jet turbine thundered! It sounded loud enough to be mistaken as Doro just ripping the fattest fart, but she hadn’t even let her asshole part! It was coming. Soon. Fuck, there was nowhere to go anywhere close to hear!

The situation grew even more dire as that momentary monstrous churning of the singer’s gut turned into a continuous cacophony of her tormented bowels. Her system was gearing up to let loose an ungodly dump. Now the muscle cramps truly took their toll. Dorothea’s walk crawled to a shuffle with inch-long steps. So much waste was packing up against her exit, just the simple jostle of muscles involved with locomotion barely had the space to flex. Fuck, this had all spun from dire to mortifying! Dorothea was about to shit like a wyvern on the way to the goddamn classrooms! Oh, she’d do anything for a toilet in this moment!

And then… Dorothea’s sweaty, straining face noticed something in her vicinity. Just to her right, standing so plainly she didn’t even recognize it as a feature along her regular path to class, was a barrel. A barrel long since abandoned that was as good as trash…

Dorothea had her toilet.

With the final last remnants of her strength, Dorothea clenched her asshole around the steadily escaping turtle head poking against her pink panties and stepped atop the debris lining the sides of the barrel. It was an all-or-nothing affair; such large movements of her legs to step up the surrounding junk meant this dump was coming out in mere moments! The bulging beak of the beast pushed out to a full six inches, hard enough to tent her poor panties like a campsite. It was so painfully wide, Dorothea was gasping for air! Just a little bit more though. She was on top of it all! All she had to do now was pull down her panties and aim her ass. That was it! That was all..

F-fuck! It was slipping out! Within a split second that inaugural head of waste had doubled in length and was gaining speed! There was no time to pull down panties! Dorothea aimed her cheeks over the edge of the empty barrel and finally…

PRRFFFFFTTTTLLLL~!!!

A sound like livestock unloading rang out in the empty courtyard as Dorothea finally loosened her muscles and let the horrid backflow of three miasma usages hurtle into her emergency toilet below!! Her poor, delicate asshole, sullied by only one experiment with the naughtier hole, ballooned to a truly absurd diameter that rivaled a birthing vagina in diameter! How was she even capable of passing such a monstrous shit? This dark magic was seriously fucking up her body! Her poor panties were filled to a ridiculous capacity in mere moments. Just seconds into the whole affair, the waistband of her garment broke. The piece was totally buried by Dorothea’s absurd pile!

The flow of hot, fresh, thick lady dump cascaded out of Dorothea like crashing rapids, thundering out what felt like a yard’s worth of shit a second! And the sound… Whenever the trumpeting farts took a break, she could hear the noise of her poo sloppily cascading down with powerful, wet thuds, only growing the slightest bit softer as the drop from Dorothea’s ass became less and less as the barrel filled.

On and on it went. There was no help from the classroom she’d just departed, those ladies were having too much trouble dealing with their own impressively sized shits. Thankfully, no one else showed their faces. The early nights mixed with the increase in fiends interacting with the monastery had mercifully drained out the populace and kept them in their rooms. Dorothea was free to continue her mortifying descent into a human manure factory alone.

Moments stretched to minutes. Dorothea felt no less full as when she’d started. She looked back. The barrel was well over half full. The mass was threatening to tap against her bottom if it carried on much longer. She prayed to the goddess this would be over soon, that she wouldn’t cause a large storage container to overflow with dump and have to resort to shitting in the nearby bushes like a goddamn bear.

Mercifully, it seemed as though her wish had been granted. That feeling of impossible fullness that had stuffed her insides vanished. The impossidump rushing out of her started to thin. In just a small turn of the clock, Dorothea had expunged the last of all that excess matter her Miasma tome had filled her with.

The singer looked back. It was a good 90% full, doubtlessly heavy. She felt awful knowing someone tomorrow would have to dispose of this horrid ass explosion of hers. Perhaps she could ask her professor for an emergency lesson on warping white magic and teleport this horrid container before everyone roused the next day…

Dorothea rose off the barrel. Standing was an ordeal. Her wobbly legs found footing, but walking was hard with her impossibly gaped, yet miraculously still perfectly healthy, overburdened asshole; now numb from defecating a keg or two of shit. She hobbled back towards the classroom, ready to inform the professor she’d be absent from lecture until her asshole could fully clench shut…

beadyeyes:

rules of chivarly for knights

1. always wash your gauntlets after tinkling

2. kill people so they can go to heaven sooner