Warnings: ANGST, Dean’s a tiny bit of a dick, Depression, Thoughts of Suicide, Anxiety, Panic Attack, Self- Esteem Issues, Self- Depreciation, Lots More Angst, Mentions of Torture, Minor Fluff
Summary: After being captured by a demon and tortured for a couple of weeks, you were having trouble healing from the aftermath. The physical wounds may have healed but it doesn’t mean the ones on the inside had. The ones telling you that you’re never going to be enough. That you’re better off gone.
A/N: For the haters and the ones who gave up on me. For the ones that made me feel like I wasn’t enough. For the ones who hurt me so bad that I wanted to disappear. For the ones who claimed to be my friend and proved themselves otherwise. This one is for you.
You stood in the kitchen, dipping your tea bag into your favourite mug that you had picked up from the gas n’ sip somewhere in Portland a few years ago. It was close to midnight when you last checked your phone. It was hard to tell these days since the bunker had no windows. No natural sunlight got in. You were clad in one of your favourite oversized sweaters and a pair of plaid shorts that barely covered your ass, and a pair of knee high socks. Your typical bed attire for the most part. When you were on the road it was a little different. At home, you were more comfortable.
First of all, after trying to give my cc really interesting and elaborate names for months now, I’m officially giving that up, at least for dresses… it took me longer to find a name for my stuff than to make the preview pictures, so… not worth my time.
Second of all, more historic dresses won my poll last month! So here is one of them! I hope you’ll like this one :) this one is a mesh edit of two dresses by the wonderful Sifix, and i’m so excited about it.
Queen Marie: (to ladies-in-waiting) I wish to be alone with my nieces.
Princess Charlotte: You must have had quite the journey, Aunt Marie.
Queen Marie: I believe it is not as exciting as it is made out to be. The weather on the sea was just too tumultuous, and I was discouraged from traveling. So I waited at my house in Saint Uinen until I was allowed to get on the ship. And unfortunately I could not send a message either, so… I hope you did not worry too much, especially you, little one.
Lady Lilian: I was worried… but now I am glad you are here.
Princess Juliet: Now that we have telegraphs, we should be able to communicate more easily in the future. I doubt we should have to rely on letters for much longer.
Queen Marie: Perhaps. I don’t understand the technology, but I should talk to my son.
Princess Charlotte: We should have a nice week together, Aunt Marie. The ball is tonight, and after that there will be a dinner in your honor, but other than that, there are only minor events in the diary. We should have a grand old time.
Queen Marie: I’m sure of it, as it is so lovely to be with you all here. And perhaps we will also get to celebrate an engagement? Juliet?
Princess Juliet: How do you know?!
Queen Marie: My maid said it was the main topic in the servant’s hall, that there would be an official announcement any day?
Princess Juliet:…
Princess Valeria: They pretend they don’t have an understanding, but everyone knows it is going to happen. Quite pathetic honestly. Just admit to it already.
Princess Charlotte: Now, now… We don’t need to be unkind.
Princess Valeria: Unkind!? They’re treating us as if we were blind!
Queen Marie: I am sure that is not the intention here. And sit up straight, Valeria, don’t slouch, you look like a peasant’s daughter!
Princess Valeria: Forgive me, Aunt. (mumbles) a peasant’s daughter is still a peasant…
Princess Juliet: Charles and I are not engaged, Aunt Marie, but… perhaps he might propose soon, I am not sure. It is difficult to know what he thinks.
Princess Charlotte: I believe the way that he seeks you out in a crowded room is already a sign that he must be madly in love with you; before the war he usually kept to the shadows, or sat and growled at everyone.
Lady Lilian: I think it’s romantic, him coming home from the war and falling in love…
Queen Marie: Has he spoken to your father yet? To ask permission?
Princess Juliet: Not to my knowledge, but I should not think it matters. I’m not promised to anyone else, and Papa thinks highly of Charles. And this way, I could stay here in Anland and could be close to our families.
Queen Marie: I see… well my darlings, let me give you some advice. You are still so young. And you are right at the limbo between coming of age and starting your life in society and being married. You should do your very best to make this time one of joy. The friendships you make now could last a lifetime, you have the opportunity to meet the most interesting people of our lifetime of course! But don’t forget to behave properly either… Rumors about impropriety can also follow you until your deathbed. Would you not agree, Valeria?
Princess Valeria: Why would you tell me this, Aunt?
Queen Marie: All I will say is this: the servant’s hall is apparently also full of your exploits, dearest.
Princess Valeria:What?!
Queen Marie: I do not wish to discuss the matter, but let this be a tale of caution for you.
Princess Juliet: Would you approve of it thought? If it came through, that is?
Queen Marie: Of what?
Princess Juliet: This… match. If he did propose, would you approve of it?
Queen Marie: Of course, my child. As long as it is what you truly want.
Queen Marie: (to ladies-in-waiting) I wish to be alone with my nieces.
Princess Charlotte: You must have had quite the journey, Aunt Marie.
Queen Marie: I believe it is not as exciting as it is made out to be. The weather on the sea was just too tumultuous, and I was discouraged from traveling. So I waited at my house in Saint Uinen until I was allowed to get on the ship. And unfortunately I could not send a message either, so… I hope you did not worry too much, especially you, little one.
Lady Lilian: I was worried… but now I am glad you are here.
Princess Juliet: Now that we have telegraphs, we should be able to communicate more easily in the future. I doubt we should have to rely on letters for much longer.
Queen Marie: Perhaps. I don’t understand the technology, but I should talk to my son.
Princess Charlotte: We should have a nice week together, Aunt Marie. The ball is tonight, and after that there will be a dinner in your honor, but other than that, there are only minor events in the diary. We should have a grand old time.
Queen Marie: I’m sure of it, as it is so lovely to be with you all here. And perhaps we will also get to celebrate an engagement? Juliet?
Princess Juliet: How do you know?!
Queen Marie: My maid said it was the main topic in the servant’s hall, that there would be an official announcement any day?
Princess Juliet:…
Princess Valeria: They pretend they don’t have an understanding, but everyone knows it is going to happen. Quite pathetic honestly. Just admit to it already.
Princess Charlotte: Now, now… We don’t need to be unkind.
Princess Valeria: Unkind!? They’re treating us as if we were blind!
Queen Marie: I am sure that is not the intention here. And sit up straight, Valeria, don’t slouch, you look like a peasant’s daughter!
Princess Valeria: Forgive me, Aunt. (mumbles) a peasant’s daughter is still a peasant…
Princess Juliet: Charles and I are not engaged, Aunt Marie, but… perhaps he might propose soon, I am not sure. It is difficult to know what he thinks.
Princess Charlotte: I believe the way that he seeks you out in a crowded room is already a sign that he must be madly in love with you; before the war he usually kept to the shadows, or sat and growled at everyone.
Lady Lilian: I think it’s romantic, him coming home from the war and falling in love…
Queen Marie: Has he spoken to your father yet? To ask permission?
Princess Juliet: Not to my knowledge, but I should not think it matters. I’m not promised to anyone else, and Papa thinks highly of Charles. And this way, I could stay here in Anland and could be close to our families.
Queen Marie: I see… well my darlings, let me give you some advice. You are still so young. And you are right at the limbo between coming of age and starting your life in society and being married. You should do your very best to make this time one of joy. The friendships you make now could last a lifetime, you have the opportunity to meet the most interesting people of our lifetime of course! But don’t forget to behave properly either… Rumors about impropriety can also follow you until your deathbed. Would you not agree, Valeria?
Princess Valeria: Why would you tell me this, Aunt?
Queen Marie: All I will say is this: the servant’s hall is apparently also full of your exploits, dearest.
Princess Valeria:What?!
Queen Marie: I do not wish to discuss the matter, but let this be a tale of caution for you.
Princess Juliet: Would you approve of it thought? If it came through, that is?
Queen Marie: Of what?
Princess Juliet: This… match. If he did propose, would you approve of it?
Queen Marie: Of course, my child. As long as it is what you truly want.
