The truth is a General They has always wanted to undo the metoo movement but none of the celebrities getting accused were likable enough or had enough of a established fanbase for it to stick and now they not only have that but also the nostalgia associated with that man
This Tik Tok that just came across my FYP: “Will y’all authors stop using the word ‘cock’?? There’s so many other words!!”
Ma’am, respectfully, that is the least objectionable / most palatable word for that particular reproductive organ
and also respectfully, no, I will not stop
you want me to say “dick”? that’s just caffeine-free diet “cock”
I’m sorry I have to reblog again because @artpigeons‘s tags sent me into orbit
The obsession with finding the perfect unoffensive literary replacement term for cock is how you get actual published books containing the words “throbbing manroot”
Aliens: Wow you guys sure are completely normal and not at all indescribably horny.
NASA *beating the alien fuckers with a broom*: Yep. Just a completely normal species. no inappropriate lusting for extraterrestrial booty here, no sir.
I couldn’t let this be hidden in the replies
[ID: reply by lusciouslusus that reads,
“We zoom out slightly to reveal the aliens are ALSO beating their own alien-fuckers away with a space-broom.”
End ID]
As an asexual, I vibe with NASA on this one. It’s… a metaphor.
the thing is not only is Jonathan Harker a lawyer, he’s a lawyer who JUST passed the bar. studying for and taking the bar melts your fucking brain so bad. all of his common sense has been replaced with property law. instead of brain there is short essay about insurance consumer protection. I guarantee he still remembers all six kinds of homicide in detail despite the fact that he will never touch criminal law in his life. it is honestly a miracle that he even made it far enough to get seduced by Dracula
This is it, this is the post that made me wonder why Tumblr is suddenly obsessed with Dracula and start reading Dracula Daily
You know, it’s not often that a user name so thoroughly checks out as it does here, biglawbear…
Not to mention that he’s a real estate & probate attorney, who have the weirdest early-career jobs on the planet - especially at boutique law firms.
One of my law school classmate was sent overseas within 2mo of passing the bar to review under-contract properties on behalf of his client, and he and his guide were cornered for over two hours by a pet lion the seller abandoned on some property in China.
And back in the 90s, my boss was shotwhile inspecting a decedent’s ranch property that had (unbeknownst to the clients) been taken over by a bunch of skinheads squatting on the land.
I mean, to Jonathan Harker’s credit, meeting a kinda weird and reclusive rich client in a remote location, and getting lowkey “I either want to drink your blood or sleep with you” vibes from him is pretty par for the course in this practice area. The wolves might make it a fun law school reunion story, but tbh the first ~5 years of practice for boutique probate/real estate attorneys are basically like:
