I Am Single For Reasons These are, believe it or not, actual statements from various moments in my

I Am Single For Reasons

These are, believe it or not, actual statements from various moments in my dating history thus far. They speak for themselves, really.

They’re not all of my reasons (see pretty much any of my other comics), and I’ve met people that were wonderful, but these lines are definitely the ones that make me contemplate shankings.