horizontalslashes: wontstopuntilimscreaming: #not for attention seeking purposes…  not l

horizontalslashes:

wontstopuntilimscreaming:

#not for attention seeking purposes…  not looking for sympathy…
I didn’t want to post this but I felt a need to, to show that this addiction is not all fun and games and you don’t want in on it nor is it for attention seeking. This was taken just after I relapsed. I wouldn’t even call it a relapse because I’ve been comfortably on 0 days for the last week. I didn’t want to post this because of my face, I was crying uncontrollably the whole entire time I was in the bathroom (which was like 2-3 hours) and I was still crying here^. I didn’t even realise that I had pressed the button and it upset me to see this. I am in so much pain, not only am I still really upset but now my arm is physically burning, I can’t even put it on the desk because it fucking hurts so much. And what makes me even more upset is how people still think self-harming is for attention. Please tell me who would cause themselves so much pain both physically and emotionally for attention? You can’t just do this to yourself, you have to be extremely upset or angry or numb etcetera. You can’t just pick up a blade and cause a lot of damage… just because. I don’t know, people just fucking piss me off… And for those of you who want this addiction… Please seriously think about it, do you really want to go through this every day? I’ve been through some pretty fucked-up shit and this, this addiction is easily the worst.

beautiful. 

…you are so lovely. it gets better babe. it took me 16 years of self-harm to realize it, the scars just mean we adapted the best way we could to survive.