bimbosanddolls: This is the last time I let Becky set me up, Brittany thought to herself as she wait

bimbosanddolls:

This is the last time I let Becky set me up, Brittany thought to herself as she waited for her blind date to show up.

“Excuse me, Miss,” the waitress interrupted Brittany’s train of thought, “A Mr. Parker called. He apologized for running late and asked us bring you a drink while you wait.” 

“Yeah, thanks.” was Brittany’s cold reply as the server placed the pink, slushy drink on the table and left without another word. 

Brittany picked up the glass; she didn’t recognize what was in it, but it looked pretty good. If he’s going to make me wait like this, a drink is the least he could do. She took a sip and was pleasantly surprised by how good it tasted. 

She wasn’t ever going to be at the top of anyone’s sexiest girl alive list, but Brittany felt pretty good about her looks. Her dark hair and porcelain skin gave her a Zooey Deschanel kind of look that most guys she dated seemed to think was adorable. At the very least, she was far too attractive to be stood up by some random.

Still, she continued to slowly nurse her drink; figuring that he wouldn’t have ordered anything for her if he wasn’t going to show up relatively soon. And she didn’t want to seem ungrateful. Besides, if she was being honest with herself, it was actually really nice of her date to order this for her. Before she knew it, Brittany cared less and less about having to wait for him.

Suddenly, Brittany’s head began to feel tingly. Stupid Britt, it IS a slushy drink and brain freeze is a thing that exists. Pull yourself together, girl. She tried to pace herself a little better, hoping that this feeling in her head would go away soon. Mmm, they’re so good, though. 

She didn’t remember the server bringing her a second drink when she noticed a new one on the table. Did I really drink the first one that fast? The tingling sensations had dulled to a point where Brittany felt like she was getting a scalp massage from inside her head. It actually felt kind of nice. 

“Whoa, am I buzzed already?” she said quietly to herself before a small giggle escaped her. 

C’mon Britty, you’re being ridiculous. He’s going to think you’re a cheap drunk. Oh my God, ew, did I just refer to myself as Britty? Actually…that’s so… cute?

Another drink was brought to the table and Brittany seemed to be okay with the nickname she had accidentally given herself. It did sound sexier than Brittany. And Britty was feeling pretty sexy at the moment.

She was checking herself out in the window beside her when something in the back of her mind seemed to click. Wait… I don’t remember wearing this dress. Is this even mine? I thought I had a sweater on….. And oh my god, why do my titties… I mean.. boobs look so big right now?!

The tingling in Britty’s brain came back stronger than before. It was like her worries were just being massaged away. Brittany was sure something wasn’t right, but she just couldn’t seem to figure out exactly what. 

God, Britty, how drunk are you? ‘course I wore this, I wanna look good for my date! And why wouldn’t I show off my tits for him? Heehee, titties rhymes with Britty. I love my titties. 

Another drink arrived at Britty’s table. This time, it was delivered by a very handsome, very well-dressed man. 

“Hello, Brittany. My name is Ian. Sorry to keep you waiting so long. Becki just insisted on giving me a blowjob before I left the house.”

The blonde bombshell looked up at Ian. Her eyes reflecting the wide-eyed simplicity that was still tingling away in her mind. She very briefly worried that he’d notice that she wasn’t a natural blonde before being lost in planning a day at the spa for herself. I wonder if I’d look hot with platinum blonde hair? 

It took Britty a moment to realize that Ian, no… Mr. Parker, was talking to her. 

“Oh! Like, hiya, Mr. Parker. I’m Britty but you can totes call me Titties! Thanks for yummy drinks! Wanna, like, go have sex?”