walkthesame: Joy in the Process Words by Johanna Loh As she cradled the baby in her arms, her face

walkthesame:

Joy in the Process

Words byJohanna Loh

As she cradled the baby in her arms, her face creased with smiles. She stared wonderingly at the day-old infant, noticing how he had dark eyes just like her own. While she couldn’t quite make out the shape of his nose yet, she was willing to bet that it would mirror the shape of his father’s. A plethora of emotion coursed through her. Gratitude to a God who was faithful to His promises. Relief that her labor had gone smoothly despite her years. Above all, she felt the awe of holding her very own son and the immense, fiery maternal love.

For many, many years she had longed to be a mother. But no matter how hard she and her husband had tried, the role had always seemed to elude her. Mistress of her household, indeed. One of the most beautiful women in the land, yes, even well past the bloom of youth. But never a mother. Watching her maid and other servants playing with their children, she had felt herself grow envious as she longed for the child she couldn’t seem to conceive. As the years went by, she started to resign herself to the fact that she probably would never have a little one of her own flesh and blood. She was well aware that bitterness had also taken root in her spirit, fed by her disappointment and unfulfilled hopes.

However, the coming of the child had changed everything. Sarah clearly remembered how ridiculous it had all seemed when the three visitors had come to their tent about a year ago. It had been such a hot, stifling afternoon in Mamre, with only the terebinth trees providing a much welcomed source of shade. She was particularly curious about the visitors. Her normally unruffled husband had rushed into their tent, bidding her to quickly prepare cakes of fine meal for these three men. Intrigued, she had later positioned herself behind the tent door just out of sight to listen to their conversation. Who were these people that they warranted such a reaction from Abraham? Incredulity and doubt quickly spread through her as she distinctly heard the words from one of them, “…and Sarah your wife shall have a son.”

The first thought that surfaced was, but that is impossible! I’m 90 years old! She had silently laughed within herself at the absurdity of it, made even more surreal by the quiet confidence with which the strange man had made his bombshell of a statement. Almost as if the impossible was going to happen, without a shadow of a doubt. Her laugh then had been birthed out of years of deadened anticipation and unrealized dreams.

Abraham had bequeathed their child the name of Isaac shortly after his birth. How apt, Sarah mused. Isaac. Yitzchaq. Laughter. She had laughed as she held him for the first time, and so had Abraham. She declared, “God has made me laugh, and all who hear will laugh with me!” Now, she laughed once more as she held their only son tightly. A son that had been ninety years in the making for her, and a century for him. Their miracle baby. But the sound from Sarah’s lips wasn’t the resentful or incredulous noise that it had been a year ago. Instead, it was one of sheer joy, gladness and gratitude. It is not just you, my son, even as she revealed in him. It is God. He is the one that brings joy. He was faithful to an old and resentful woman even when she doubted His word. He is the giver of true joy, and you are my reminder of His gift.  And if one day you ever ask me about your name, I can’t wait to tell you how my bitter laughter turned to joy…

We’re all like Sarah, in one way or another. Maybe we’re waiting on an Isaac that seems to be taking forever to materialize. It might be a job offer that hasn’t come, or that yet unrealized dream.  It could be a still incomplete healing from depression or a longed-for reconciliation with a loved one. We also could be wrestling with our own frustration, doubt and bitterness due to circumstances. What would your “Isaac” be?

I can’t help but wonder about Sarah. She was so desperate to have children that prior to Isaac, she attempted to gain one by giving her maid to Abraham. The promise that God would establish a nation from her and Abraham’s offspring seemed too unattainable for her. I wonder if she spent years of being disillusioned and disappointed, not fully trusting God’s promises and taking matters into her own hands. Because I’m guilty of that too. Moments come when I fret too much over things I have no control over and try to plan out things so they don’t go wrong. My thoughts turn to future concerns and past regrets. I don’t let God be God. Rather, I fall back on self-reliance and logical reasoning. The result? I end up losing my joy, and my faith becomes clouded.

Maybe we all need perpetual reminders of how life is a process. It’s not seeing the end result, but rather going through the process with an attitude that makes all the difference.

Maybe we all need perpetual reminders of how life is a process. It’s not seeing the end result, but rather going through the process with an attitude that makes all the difference. We were never meant to carry certain burdens; logical reasoning does not always make the most sense. But when we see things through God’s perspective, joy comes. When He changes us in the journey of our respective trials and challenges, there is joy to be found. When we trust him, he changes our hearts. When we walk with Him in the ups and downs, He gives us much joy. Our role is just to let Him make us laugh.

I believe there is much to gain from Sarah’s statement. She wasn’t just rejoicing about seeing her promise come to pass and having the years of disappointment washed away. She could finally grasp more profoundly just how big her God was. Nothing was too hard for Him. At that point, she could comprehend that her joy was only from God. May we all remember to always find joy in God’s presence, and laugh because of Him.