Albatrosses are so awful that they’re a metaphor for doom. Pictures don’t really

Albatrosses are so awful that they’re a metaphor for doom. Pictures don’t really do their suckiness justice. Albatrosses are famous for having the biggest wing span of any bird, and also from The Rescuers. They’re built to stay in the air, so these fuckers fly all the entire way around the god damn world (although not at the Equator, where it counts) in between mating seasons. So basically, they think they’re some kind of fucking indefatigable Superbirds all eating cuttlefish like they own the ocean, but then they get to some LAND and the game changes. Because even more than their wing span, more than The Rescuers, albatrosses are famous for tripping over their own fucking feet and faceplanting at least like half the time when they land. It’s easy to feel cool when you’re the only bird for two hundred miles, isn’t it Albatross?