#albatrosses

Albatrosses are so awful that they’re a metaphor for doom. Pictures don’t really do their suckiness justice. Albatrosses are famous for having the biggest wing span of any bird, and also from The Rescuers. They’re built to stay in the air, so these fuckers fly all the entire way around the god damn world (although not at the Equator, where it counts) in between mating seasons. So basically, they think they’re some kind of fucking indefatigable Superbirds all eating cuttlefish like they own the ocean, but then they get to some LAND and the game changes. Because even more than their wing span, more than The Rescuers, albatrosses are famous for tripping over their own fucking feet and faceplanting at least like half the time when they land. It’s easy to feel cool when you’re the only bird for two hundred miles, isn’t it Albatross?

Challenge 143: Lucky Charms: Albatross

Albatrosses are among the largest flying birds in the world, and have the longest wingspans of any living bird species. In the right conditions they are able to stay in the air for hours without ever flapping their wings. In the rich history of sailing, albatrosses have long been considered a sign of good fortune; the souls of sailors lost at sea come to protect a ship (although they were sometimes seen as a sign of coming death, too). Either way, it was also considered extremely bad luck to kill an albatross. However, this has not protected them from harm. All species of albatrosses range from threatened to critically endangered due to pollution, over fishing practices, and being harvested for feathers.

James