annadoll2001: Sophia Schliemann So we are back with our buddy Heinrich Schliemann, the worst amate

annadoll2001:

Sophia Schliemann

When Schliemann dug through a mound on Turkey’s western coast that he heard from drunk archaeologist Frank Calvert was Troy, he did not stop when he hit some Hellenistic Roman ruins. Oh no he did not. He did not stop when he hit more and more and more cities, no sir. He dug and dug until he found stuff that interested him: PRIAM’S TREASURE!

Among the treasure, which included goblets and daggers and axes and golden cups, was this stunning array of golden jewelry, seemingly forged by Hephaestus himself! These must be the jewels of Helen! The most beautiful woman in the world!

Wait wait wait wait wait. But why would Helen’s jewels be buried in the ruins of Troy? Wouldn’t she have taken them with her back to Sparta at least? I mean, she probably didn’t know that Schliemann would be putting them on his wife three thousand years later. And also she probably would have been offended. Sophia here is no mean looker but she is also no Helen of Troy.

And huh, I wonder how advanced Schliemann’s knowledge of geological stratigraphy was? Probably not advanced enough to know that he had plowed straight through the twelfth century “Troy” and all the way to the Bronze Age! Oh no, now we’re back at that same problem we had with Agamemnon’s mask…consider these jewels DUBITABLE.