#trojan war
Lefties on ketamine, rightoids on ivermectin, who knows how many more drugs Big horse is hiding from us
Idk about drugs but i have a hunch big horse is hiding something, Maybe soldiers, maybe greek soldiers. Idk just a thought
what the fuck are you on about, there is nothing inside of that horse. Let’s bring it inside the city walls. It’s perfectly fine
IT WASNT PERFECTLY FINE!
IT WASNT PERFECTLY FINE!
the greeks build a great wooden horse and deliver it to the gates of troy, and the trojans bring it inside. hidden inside the horse, odysseus and a handful of his best men wait until nightfall, then emerge from the horse to open the trojan gates and admit the rest of the greek army.
they stop, surprised and confused. for some reason, the trojans have put the horse in a giant glass jar,
#this will require a truly prodigious amount of cum but i think the trojans are up to it
Just bring out Priam and let him have at it.
My condolences to everyone googling that last tag.
“I never thought Trojans would kill MY boyfriend,” sobs man who voted for the Trojans Killing Everyone And Then They’ll Be Sorry Party.
why does an honourable death not deserve the same surge of grief and anger?
they look at me glass eyed as i mourned for your departure
and although they do not say it outright,
i catch them whispering to each other,
voices quiet as to not rouse the anger welling in me.
“we have won the war,” they say,
“patroclus died for us,” they continue as though i do not know this;
as though i do not map out the emptiness you have left.
that when i look at the cattle i think i can see you herding them in silence;
that when i turn on my side i think i can feel your chest from my back
and your arms on my waist
and your lips on my nape—
you are so integrated in my life and i see you wherever i look,
teasing me with your wide smile and your deep voice,
leaving goosebumps on my skin.
death took you away from me and yet it feels like you have never left,
and they do not understand that this is grieving.
because despite being blessed by the gods,
my eyes are still blind to ghosts
except for yours.
- the ghost of his memories
I have decided to participate in Wattpad’s Open Novella Contest!! The goal is to write 20,000 words in 13 weeks, using a prompt given from the ONC crew. I am thrilled to introduce the novella I will be working on for this contest: Alexis of Troy! This is a comedic story of a girl thrown into the legend of Troy. Aided by a frustrated goddess, Alexis must find a way back to her world without messing with the timeline. The only problem, she’s caught the attention of one Paris, Prince of Troy!
https://www.wattpad.com/story/257242694-alexis-of-troy-opennovellacontest2021
If you’re on Wattpad and participating this year send me a link to your stories!
Odysseus, peeking through the boards of the Trojan Horse, knowing damn well he’s the baddest bitch around:
Don’t say you love the anime if you haven’t read the manga
Not suspicious at all…
Trojans watch out! That’s not a real horse! Oh no they have AirPods in. They can’t hear us oh my god.
“The Goddess of beauty, Aphrodite, come down to earth in mortal form. She will bring the disaster I have prophesied. Her name will be written in letters of fire: Helen. Helen of Troy.”
the iliad ships as taylor swift songs
yes i am aware half of this isn’t even ILIAD iliad, but it’s still iliad yknow? songs are 100% from evermore and folklore because they are superior.
mad woman — clytemnestra & agamemnon
Everytime you call me crazy, I get more crazy. What about that? And when you say I seem angry, I get more angry. What about that? […] No one likes a mad woman. You made her like that.
cardigan — paris & oenone
I knew I’d curse you for the longest time, chasing shadows in the grocery line. I knew you’d miss me once the thrill expired, and you’d be standing in my front porch light. And I knew you’d come back to me, you’d come back to me.
exile — helen & menelaus
I can see you staring, honey, like he’s just your understudy, like you’d get your knuckles bloody for me. […] (‘Cause you never gave a warning sign) I gave so many signs, so many signs, so many signs. You didn’t even see the signs.
champagne problems — aeneas & creusa
She’ll patch up the tapestry I shred. And hold your hand while dancing, never leave you standing, crestfallen on the landing with champagne problems. Your mum’s ring in your pocket, her picture in your wallet. You won’t remember all my champagne problems.
tolerate it— hector & andromache
While you were out building other worlds, where was I? Where’s that man who’d throw blankets over my barbed wire? I made you my temple, my mural, my sky. Now I’m begging for footnotes in the story of your life.
ivy — helen & paris
My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand, taking mine but it’s been promised to another. […] He’s gonna burn this house to the ground. How’s one to know? I’d live and die for moments that we stole, on begged and borrowed time. So tell me to run.
long story short — helen & deiphobus
And I fell from the pedestal, right down the rabbit hole. Long story short, it was a bad time. Pushed from the precipice, clung to the nearest lips. Long story short, it was the wrong guy. […] Pushed from the precipice, climbed right back up the cliff. Long story short, I survived.
willow — achilles & patroclus
I’m like the water when your ship rolled in that night. Rough on the surface but you cut through like a knife. […] The more that you say, the less I know. Wherever you stray, I follow. I’m begging for you to take my hand. Wreck my plans, that’s my man.
coney island — odysseus & penelope
And I’m sitting on a bench on Coney Island, wondering, “Where did my baby go?” The fast times, the bright lights, the merry-go. […] Were you waiting at our old spot, in the tree line, by the gold clock?
evermore — aeneas & dido
I replay my footsteps on each stepping stone, trying to find the one where I went wrong. Writing letters addressed to the fire. And I was catching my breath, staring out an open window, catching my death.
gold rush — achilles & deidamia
I don’t like anticipating my face in a red flush. I don’t like that anyone would die to feel your touch. Everybody wants you, everybody wonders what it would be like to love you.
The Greek Army at IKEA
Automedon: racing Briseis in an office chair
Briseis: eating the Swedish food, rolling down the aisle in an office chair
Diomedes: arm wrestling a German guy
Ajax: bench pressing a couch
Odysseus: criticizing how people build the IKEA furniture
Patroclus: struggling to pronounce the Swedish names
Achilles: ambushing Patroclus to throw him onto the mattresses