If you are like me with the anxiety and the depression and the executive dysfunction
- DON’T say to yourself “I need to take a shower”
-showering is a long multistage process that requires you to be vulnerable (naked, wet, blots out sound, what if someone calls/rings the doorbell, etc)
-INSTEAD say to yourself “I’m just gonna go turn on the water right quick”
-small one step task checked off your list
-your anxiety brain is a dumb motherfucker and it will be none the wiser that you have tricked it into BEGINNING the shower process
-once the water is running you are already there in the bathroom with the water running so you might as well finish the job
NOTE that this trick works for like. Fucking everything.
-Don’t “work on your WIP”– just open the document
-don’t “make the scary phone call” – just pull up the number in your contacts
-don’t “make lunch” – just pull out a loaf of bread
-don’t “do the dishes” – just open the dishwasher. Literally just open it
Remember ur anxiety brain is a dumb motherfucker and that you CAN therefore TRICK it into being functional
also bonus tip: for those times when u just need to lie on the floor and be a worthless lump of anxiety-ridden garbage for a few hours, download Duolingo and pick a language. Are you going to be fluent in a week? No. But it’s easy to focus on and that way when you’ve been down there for half a day and your shitty fukken brain is trying to convince you you’re garbage because it KEPT you there, you can counter with “excuse you I just spent the last four hours TEACHING MYSELF A FOREIGN LANGUAGE you punk ass bitch.”
Good luck out there kids I believe in u
Motivation and initiation energy are two of the hardest fucking things. Inertia is challenging to overcome. This is GREAT advice.
May I also add— if you can do the first step commit to 5-10min. At the end of those 5-10min you may be shocked to discover you can keep going— momentum bitches. And, if you can’t, it’s a good indication that rest is needed more than whatever task you’re trying to accomplish.
Yesterday I had to scrub the bathtub.
I did not want to scrub the bathtub. My brain was very much trying to put off scrubbing the bathtub.
So I told myself, I’ll put in 5 minutes of work, then do do something else, than I can come back to it.
So I spent 5 minutes digging up the bucket and finding the cleaning solution and getting the hot water into the bucket and just getting ready. Then I went and did something else for 5 minutes.
Then I spent 5 minutes scrubbing, then I went and did something else for 5 minutes.
Then, on my 3rd pass of cleaning, I ignored my timer and finished the job.
By letting myself work through my to-do list in 5 minute chunks, I find that a) a lot of tasks surprisingly take less than 5 minutes, and b) most other tasks can be divided into manageable tiny chunks.
Hey, everyone who was raised christian (whether actively participating or just in a christian household):
What do you know about the religion your ancestors practiced before the christians came?
Majority Swedish, Irish, Scottish, English ancestry, soooo….. a lot but also very little? Like a lot is known about the non-christian religions of my ancestors, but it was all recorded by christians, well into the medieval period, during a time of almost exclusive dominance by christianity, and after centuries of co-existence and cross-cultural exchange with christians, and later HOPELESSLY CONFLATED by the neo-occultist spiritual movements of the post-industrial modern age, which were all already hopelessly conflated with centuries of christianity anyway,and there’s a bunch of stuff that for a hundred years was considered reliable source material that is turning out to have been just completely made up by some victorian dude lighting candles in the back of a rented room he unironically called his “temple”.
So grain of salt, we know a lot but also like, very little of what we think we know is probably actually factually correct even after you really get deep in the thick of it. It’s not frustrating at all.
I’m English, Irish, and German*, so I just assume we were pagans until the Romans showed up.
That said, one of my maternal ancestors was a younger son of minor nobility, so I was able to trace us back to a dude named Spartalingus, whom I choose to believe was a Romanized Saxon, but prove me wrong if you know better.
*My direct paternal ancestor was from a region that changed nationalities frequently. When I looked at documents on ancestry.com, the town never changed, but the country was differ every time.
what’s the name for that species of joke where you mix and match true facts to make something twice as wrong as knowing nothing. if you bite it and you die it’s a stalagmite if it bites you and you die it’s a stalactite
It’s actually not the stalactite that bites you you’re thinking of stalactite’s monster.
In moments like this I always fall back on the fact that they also aren’t speaking English because they don’t have England or the many languages and conquering peoples that contributed to the creation of the English language and therefore the work musr be a translation into recognizable terms in our world’s terms. Call that Tolkien Brainrot.
It’s called “Translation Convention” but “Tolkien Brainrot” is funnier.
Curse Words does have Christianity but every time I go to make a character swear I have to be like “okay so how prominent is it as a religion, how much would the vernacular of this half-isolated society be influenced, and would this particular character use ‘hell’ as an expletive?”
Depending on the setting I might resort to things like “spirits”, “rot”, “Oh for the sake of a thunderstorm!” etc etc.
Yeah there are wizard-specific expletives. I know how to invent expletives. That’s not an issue.
Oh for orbs’sake!
I know this is a half a shitpost but if you guys are interested in reading more about the ‘reefs of dead metaphors’ essentially every language is built on, I would highly recommend Guy Deutscher’s book The Unfolding of Language. It’s one of my favourite pop linguistics book that takes a closer look at analogy, language evolution and how the distribution of even things like irregular verbs , suppletion and linguistic ‘cycles’ of change (so for example what happens to negatives, or other individual aspects of language) is all tied to meaning, perception, similarity and novelty. A great read!
And if you’re just trying to come up with fantasy swears, sex, excrement, and farm animals are always reliable fall-backs. There are very few languages in which calling someone a shit-eating donkey-fucker is not a recognizeable insult.
I feel like you can’t go wrong with, “What the fucking fuck?”
why don’t people in zombie apocalypse stories ever just wear suits of armor? you think any zombie is gonna get their shitty rotting jaws through this?
I’m gonna rip and tear my way through the zombie apocalypse completely unharmed because none of the undead hoards will be able to get through my plate mail
everyone else is like “oh we gotta stay inside the most secure places possible and never leave” and I’ll be storming through the wastelands in my bloodstained suit of armor, blasting the Doom (2016) OST and plowing my way through waves of the undead. one of them tries to bite me but his shitty rotting teeth don’t even leave a dent in my armor before I turn his head into paste. I’ll be unstoppable until I die of dehydration or something like an idiot
this goes along with my other pet peeve about zombie apocalypse stories, namely: why does no one ever think to ride a bike?
bikes are quiet- if the zombies react to loud noises, they won’t hear you on a bike the way they might hear you in a car. bikes don’t need gas, meaning you won’t be stranded if you run out. bikes are much, much easier to maintain than a car- there’s no computer that can short out, no fiddly engine bits that could kill you if you mess with them wrong. you can learn how to maintain a bike with a couple weeks’ worth of classes. almost every adult knows how to ride a bike, and without cars on the road, it’d be much safer to do.
what i’m saying is
OK. So I can’t speak to other cities. But from my lived experience, if you live in Philly, storm the Philadelphia Museum of Art and steal armor. If you live in Manhattan, hit up the Met but I don’t think it’s as good. And I know there’s sweet-ass armor in various museums in London, but I’m pretty sure the Royal Family has dibs so you have to be on top of your looting game.
Andalites don’t have taste but they probably enjoy textures. Like the crunch of things under their hooves or how things squish. Maybe even the feeling of things going up their legs.
Ax drinks a slurpee too fast and gets ankle freeze
