#247 total slavery

That little voice inside your head, the one you’re listening to, is it fantasy or a conscientious reality? Maybe it’s a hidden desire unfulfilled or a poignant truth staring you straight in the face?

The more intense Your service to the Goddess Ezada Sinn swells, the deeper the need. The need to submit to Her, which in turn fuels the desire to serve. Just like a cat chasing its tail, a mobius loop, maybe gas hurled on an open flame, the fire of surrender to Goddess Ezada endlessly feeds itself and you became utterly consumed.

A precipice appears, and you beg to climb it. The foundation of your past no longer supports the framework of your future. Familiar places must be shed, bold steps seem approachable, even manageable in choice. Goddess Ezada Sinn will drive you forward like this. Yet are you prepared to take flight or will you retreat and forever wonder why you pulled back in fear?

When you have toyed with a vision for so long, a delusion of desires never realized, and finally the portage Goddess Ezada lies barren before you is lucid, you have a choice. you can march backwards and surrender to your past, or you can march forward and surrender to Her. The simple selection between history repeating or new history forged.

What shape does total surrender to a Female Superior take? you realized earlier that your kinks which wove the path to Goddess Ezada Sinn’s doorstep, are now void of substance. The quirks in your deviant behavior, your unusual sexual preference, your fancy, your daydream, everything of the past is repealed and replaced by Her ways.

Her slave must let go of the safety net you’ve kept hidden in the darkened corner of the room. Its time to ascent the cliff of Goddess Ezada’s dominance. Believe in the strength you have, relinquish everything and marvel at the journey of ultimate surrender ahead. Trust in Her and accept the truth that Goddess Ezada Sinn is worthy of total devotion.

Jump off and climb.
Crimp upwards.
your heart wants this.
your body cries for this.
your soul so separately yearns to find this truth.

If you succeed, scale to the top, remember it’s only to concede, to submit, and relinquish all that you are to the Goddess Ezada Sinn. The joy of falling into waiting position, bare and raw, just material for Her to mold. Yes, you have a choice; history repeating itself, or ascension to your ultimate station of surrender before the One who will own you for life.

For Her sit the choice is so articulately clear.
Sunt al dumneavoastra Stapana.

Her assignment hits triggers.
Buttons,Goddess Ezada Sinn knows how to push.
A knob or two …
       that She twists for Her joy and amusement.

A reaction to this clip of doggish Pavlovian proportions.
Where the slow vibrations of a Doxy drains my will.
The disappointment in knowing i must stop …
       to obey Her
       just when you cry and beg
       for a singular spurt of self indulgence.

Transported to Your side …
       i start to count the whip stokes in Romanian.
Recalling the pain and welts from that red single tail whip …
       as if they are happening to me right this very moment in time.

i crave to kiss and worship Your sanctum.
i struggle to accept the pain Your offer me.
i understand it is a gift …
       yet fresh cuts make my bones cringe
       my body scamper away.

Goddess Ezada knows the pain hurts.
Her slave fears the way it will cut.
The sound curls first.
The stinging sear, poignantly just fractions behind.

The soft vibrations build pulsation.
The sexual frustration is pain itself.
You must struggle to obey …
       in pleasure and in pain.

The hunger in Goddess Ezada Sinn’s eyes …
       reveals the depth of Her story.
Wide open.
Weighted breath.
Orgasmically heavy.

“Stop your screaming slave.”
“Look at Me.”

Why ,,, why do you continue?
Why do you surrender now to Her desires …
       Her pleasures.
       Her orgasms, not yours?
my service to Goddess Ezada is all about Her pleasure
Nothing less and everything more.

It’s the fear losing connection.
The terror of being cut loose.
Returning to a place …
       every self-ejaculation you every wanted.
Yet standing still and alone in a vacuum …
       the emptiness of space.
Void of the One you were destined to Worship.

She is gone.
You are lost.
Adrift.
Again.
No paddle to return.

The clip ends as Her screen image blackens.
The vibrations stopped over and over …
       many times, minutes ago.

you obey Goddess Ezada Sinn.
Not because you want too.
It’s because you MUST.

The pain of Her whip kisses.
The frustration of Her denial.
All merely rest stops …
       on your final Journey home.

To the place of ultimate surrender …
       to the only Female Superior that matters …
The One, you can not breath, or live … Without.

TheGoddess Ezada Sinn.

Goddess Ezada Sinn uses you when She wishes.

BeingGoddess Ezada’s property lucidly means you are a possession, one that can and will be used by Her at any minute, of any day She so chooses. Stapana’s whim, is in fact the guiding light and crystal clear directive Her slave must capitulate before and follow without question.

Just a few days ago that principle was again hammered impressionably into my slave property mind. It all started when Goddess Ezada issued an order over IM, out of nowhere.

sit, wear nipple clamps or pegs on your nipples for 30 min while working for Me, today.

Yet that was only the tip of the avalanche about to tumble down. 20 minutes later without warning, IM starts to heat up.

sit entertain Me.
you are working for Me, correct?
Show Me the nipple clamps, now!

Oh cute, looks like the pussy is pulling the chains.
:-)
Take Dodo, lose the cat.

put Dodo on very low speed over your chastity cage                        
Start praising me in text                        
Write Me how much you love to be my slave                        
How painful it is sometimes                        
Humiliating, etc.                        
You may turn off Dodo only after I cum                        
obviously, no ruined orgasm or pre-cum should leak from My property                        
Go!

Write FASTER
Images too

Dodo on variable speed.                        
Stapana sit wants to cum so badly …. please                       
Please. 
i crave to please You

NO!                        
keep it in or you will be punished                        
worship Goddess

i know i KNOW.                        
i worship You everyday …. More than anyone in my whole life.
Please may i give You pleasure beyond pain.
You are the Woman who Owns me … You have complete control over me
i am nothing without You … nothing  without serving You.
You are powerful and i am YOUR slave.                        
i worship You because of Your Feminine allure and power                        
i’m only allowed to cum by Your hand                    
Please crush me, whip me raw, make me cry
Please may i lick You … ??

sit I came once                        
you may stop Dodo for 30 sec and then start it again                        
I want more                        
continue!    

pull the chain from nipple clamps too                        
make it paniful and tell me about it                        
write!

this weight really hurts
i am addicted to You, REALLY addicted  
i hurt when you torture me
i hurt far more when You don’t touch me
i want to lick and kiss You …
i want to be whipped and beaten by You.
i want to CRY for You
i want to be at your feet right NOW.

to lick Me sit                        
I am so wet!!  

Goddess i want to scream ….                        
i want everyone to know that i submit to You.                        
i want people to look at me and see You.                        
You are my powerful Superior … i am just meat for You to play with

Second one (orgasm)
good boy!
stop Dodo
remove clamps
you satisfied Me very well
Good boy!
I am going to take a buble bath now
Yes I am satisfied
Now get back to work for Me slave

Frustrated i do as told and go immediately back to Her assigned tasks while the Goddess Ezada Sinn goes off to relax even more. So you see, as Her possession you will be used by Her on demand, as She wishes. That is your purpose in Her life.

Goddess Ezada Sinn’s words were plain as day in Her text earlier this afternoon …

“you don’t have the right to choose”
“I choose it for you”
“It’s that simple”

She’s absolutely correct in Her statement. The longer i remain Her slave, the fewer rights i have to choose from.

It all started on day one of Goddess Ezada’s training; the devotee agrees to give up control of his orgasms. No touching that little thunder stick of yours without permission boy! Then a mile or two down the road a chastity cage appears between your legs. You love Goddess Ezada Sinn’s control so you go deeper and agree to other rules.

So what rights of choice does sit have now? Here’s the short answer in no particular order of importance.

Buy clothes
Only socks or dance belts as Goddess Ezada picks out everything else in person. you must purge your existing wardrobe of what She does not like.

Daily schedule
She has calendar control, plus Goddess Ezada approves any additions or changes. No spur of the moment adventures, trips, travels, movies or shows without permission.

Daily tasks
Her tasks ALWAYS take immediate priority. Goddess Ezada Sinn’s cardinal rule: you may sleep once Her tasks are complete.

Dining out
Allowed twice per month; otherwise, only coffee and water. Thank gosh my friend’s understand and respect Her rule.

Daily Altar routine
Yes it happens, even in the presence of Goddess Ezada Herself. It’s best to wake up early and go to sleep late in order to fit in Altar Worship around Her waking hours.

Financial control
She wants to understand the past so Goddess Ezada can control and better dictate your future. She holds final say over any expenditure beyond daily staples. your old buying habits completely evaporate.

Life changes and directives
The slave does have a choice here … !!
WhenGoddess Ezada offers you a chance to deepen Your commitment and dedication to Her, you can say “Yes” or you can walk away and let go your slavery under Goddess.

Thus when Goddess Ezada Sinn expounds to Her property, sit …

“you don’t have the right to choose”
“I choose it for you”
“It’s that simple”

She’s totally correct.
She’s totally in charge.

When you look at yourself in the mirror slave, what do You see? It is a consensual reflection or just an image of one? Maybe you see only the One you worship and adore, maybe you’re staring back at yourself. Is it a matter of identify that helps shape and define how you serve the Goddess Ezada Sinn?

The view in the mirror is as different for each slave, much as the path up Goddess Ezada’s mountain of surrender is unique to each male who partakes in the act. The steps you transverse are your own, not a repetition of another.

Reflecting on my journey to Goddess over this past year, i positively see a consensual marriage of two. It did not begin that way at all. sit’s slavery to Goddess Ezada germinated first by me admitting that i have my own appetite but acknowledging that this hunger is not about me alone. i feel a bottom in our BDSM world lives centrally in that vein and please note i am not judging here, there is nothing wrong with that. Yet, my stepping down the path She illuminates forward paints my purpose with a sympathetic perception that sit’s needs now parallel and become shaped by Hers.

In my reflecting pool now there are two, Goddess Ezada Sinn and myself. The journey starts because You/you both have common grounds, similar desires that match and mesh. Somewhere along the path, the slave comes to understand that you must let go of your cravings you’ve brought with you. Simply, your pleasures become a reflection of Hers. You now lick and clean Goddess Ezada’s boots not because you’ve always liked to worship boots, but solely for the purpose that She has demanded it.

So there are two in sit’s mirror, the Goddess Ezada Sinn and i. It feels like a healthy frame to view, a fundamentally sound platform to advance from. Over the upcoming months, i hope to let go of any strains of conditional slavery i am sure are buried under my skin.  When i can advance beyond the limits of these restraints, that surely cast and hold me back, the views from the top of Goddess Ezada’s mountain will be the sweetest sights yet.

It’s pleasant to see two images in the mirror aligned to just one directive. That edict is Her dictum, the decree, and the desires of the Goddess Ezada Sinn.

All slaves soon learn the guiding principle in Goddess Ezada Sinn’sworld.
“All the pleasure is for Her.”
“All the pain is for you.”

The more you suffer for Her eyes to see; the more aroused She becomes. your submission and especially your pain stimulate Her. Goddess Ezada loves to soak in the humiliation Her slave is experiencing under Her hand.  The pain from Her whip can easily drive you to a precipice where a single crack can push you over the edge. The biting cuts deep and instantaneously to the bone, your eyes welt and tear up with ease. She draws you into Hers, all so She can revel in the discomfort and the agony She is pushing you through.

Goddess Ezada Sinn craves to witness the pain of surrender in your eyes.

It’s not just the physical pain Goddess Ezada loves, for a slave’s eyes willingly tell the story of accepting the mental torment and ache She heaps upon you in kind. At the point when your submissive mind willingly surrenders to the reality of accepting more from Her, it is your eyes that first telegraph the paths and watchpoints of the journey you are walking. Goddess Ezada has raped me barren and dry when She stares into my hazel pupils during moments of deep mental acquiescence. A thousand words are spoken in just a single silent glance. She reads me like a child’s book of simple rhymes.

Positively, this silent interaction is not just a one way street. In moments of unbridled passion Goddess Ezada has grabbed and pulled the collar around sit’s neck with fiery intent. my cervical spine snaps from a direct hand induced order, and soon Our/our eyes interlock without a single syllable muttered. The liquid heat behind Her lids radiates, Goddess’s large dark brown irises made every multimeter of the “Windows into Her soul” appear voluminous. The fire in Her soul, Her electrified state of power and sexual arousal, that Femdom passion which never dims, it just consumes Her slave who’s now lost to the power of Her dominant gaze.

Goddess Ezada Sinn’s eyes hold you as captive as any vocal command might bind. There is no path to escape, and there is positively no desire to try. your eyes cry the song of submission while Hers breath in the heat of the soul She rules and owns.

For Her sit, i become lost in the beauty of Goddess Ezada’s eyes. i forget the pain throbbing in my back, the possible pleasure She summons up from Her cock. Nothing else matters, i as tangible flesh and bone become totally irrelevant. The pain and the sex in my physical body evaporate, become lost. Every ounce of my defeat to Goddess Ezada Sinn seeps out through my eyes. While Hers soak up very drop of Her property’s surrender.

i really wanted to write this blog focusing on how Goddess Ezada Sinn has left my sex hanging. To detail how Stapana has deepened Her sexual control over me igniting an exasperation for release, raising it to the boiling point of pure denial and frustration. Yet, this afternoon on the ride home the light bulb in my brain clicked “On” to a more immediate and relevant theme.

i’m a person of two long standing personal passions, both outside my attraction to Femdom Divinity. One fixation makes up 70% of my entire life span and the other and even greater 75%. The latter accounts, for 65% of my yearly income. Yet, today things changed and it changed to amplify my surrender to the Goddess Ezada Sinn.

There comes a point when you the slave must acknowledge and accept the truth. If you are honestly going to submit to a Superior Female, other parts of whom you are must be left behind. The male ego that molded and shaped your life has to be released, and Her ego must inhabit its place. your radical ecstasy and sacred sexual exchange, which pulled you to the altar of voluntary servitude before the Goddess Ezada, no longer has bearing and weight in the equation of your future.

Today, i let go of a passion that has driven three quarters of my life. A passion i love so dearly, one that has feed my soul with creation, turmoil, creativity, and joy. A passion i am proud of the results. It’s the creative outlet i am most noted for. Yet, to deepen my slavery to the Goddess Ezada Sinn i closed that door today.

Voluntary slavery to a Female Superior requires bravery, and for me the reality of not serving Goddess Ezada was just a fruitless argument with my desired identity. i have long passed the point when i as a submissive look for a Female Superior that can teach or train me in “everything” i need to know about surrender. The surrender to Her is a choice that i must arrive at and one that i must make real and factual. One of those bridges was passed today, and the gate was closed behind me as i walked willingly forward to the light of Goddess Ezada’s intensifying control.

It was an easy decision, one where the principle of “wasted time is wasted passion” was lucid and transparent. To serve Goddess Ezada Sinn my time living must meet Her needs not mine. my old life reared its head once to often and got in the way.  i am free from the shackles of my past identity simply because i now exist more fully to fulfill Hers.

i do pray that my deepening state of surrender to Goddess Ezada inflames the principle of obedience. The lens through which my slavery to Her becomes clarified, polished, and refined. Her sit closed one pivotal door today, yet i now walk upon an unencumbered portal of genuine surrender to the Goddess Ezada Sinn. Her ownership of sit is more profound now that when he woke this morning. my eyes wide open to the joy of honest submission to the Stapana that owns me, the Goddess Ezada Sinn.

No, not talking submissive stereotypes here such as “service submissive.” i’m just reflecting about the ideal of belonging to Her, of what it takes to make me feel worthy of being a called a slave of the Goddess Ezada Sinn.

To define my place, it all goes back to a simple seed and central core of the abundant joy i receive, just by belonging to Her. The connection Stapana has allowed to forge between Herself, and Her property transcends any singular act of serving Her, of taking pain from Her, or fulfilling some past BDSM kink needs i might harbor. The act of my submission to the Goddess Ezada Sinn doesn’t need to exist in a vacuum separate from my everyday reality. The rapture and jubilation of serving and submitting to Her have simply become my everyday reality. It’s tremendously freeing when your submission to Goddess Ezada is not hidden away during discreet hours of your day.

The joy of service and submission hinge around the principles of honoring; who Goddess Ezada is, and what Stapana wants and desires. Absolute deferment  to Her choices manifests elation, and euphoria in Her sit. Yet it’s an unrealistic expectation on my part, to assume that all my service to Her will constantly be framed by me enjoying my time as Her slave. The work is tiring, the tasks relentless, the pain of Her whip too great, the craving to orgasm out of chastity every present, or the next task maybe impossible to even comprehend let alone carry out. It’s important for me, Her property, to work through those moments of “non-enjoyment” knowing the reason i serve Goddess Ezada Sinn is that i might be valued as a worthy addition to Her stable of devotees, servants, and slaves.

One of the prime factors that drives me deeper into capitulation and obedience, is the reality that i’m not the only One/one undergoing transformation here. i continually witness Goddess Ezada morphing into a stronger Femdom Lady and a more confident Woman as time moves forward. She creates new rules, and i abide by Her wishes. i surrender more deeply, and She shapes a firmer structure for Her Female Lead Relationship to foster and blossom within. Both Our/our energies feed off each other and the foundation sprouts firmer roots and more adventurous diversions to ultimately explore.

To arrive at the point in my life, where any act of service or submission to Goddess Ezada Sinn creates joy inside me, sounds like a noble place to aspire and ascend to. Belonging to Her, deepening my surrender, my capitulation to Her, making Her the Supreme Female that matters, the One who will rule over, control and shape my life, all that is a virtuous and ethical path i wholeheartedly aspire to follow . May i prove worthy of living in that manner, as a slave in service to and under the rule of the Goddess Ezada Sinn.

Watch out, this blog is only my opinion so please bare that in mind. What follows shall not be a rant, given i have no firm idea how Goddess Ezada Sinn feels about such verbiage blossoming forth from Her slaves unannounced. i’m not angry, and i don’t plan to shout. It’s just my honest thoughts and feelings. Certain conclusions which have cemented in me over the course of serving four glorious Femdom Ladies in the last 35 years of my life.

The central theme here orbits around using the possessive word “my” when addressing the Superior Woman who owns me.

• my Domina
  
• my Mistress
  
• ma Reine
  
• mi Diosa
  
• Stapana mea
  

For years i have written over and over “i love You my Owner,” and  “i worship You my Goddess.” It would take the rest of my lifetime just attempting to count every instance where i have used the possessive form of definition. Unless Goddess Ezada so orders it, i shall let that task linger and lay dormant.

my | mī |
poss. det.
• belonging to the speaker:
my name is sit
my friend

• informal used with a name to refer to a member of the speaker’s family
my puppy won top honors at the dog obedience school

• used with forms of address in affectionate, sympathetic, humorous, or patronizing contexts
my dear boy
my poor sissy

Goddess Ezada Sinn using the possessive word makes clear sense to me, but to have it coming from me, Her contractually owned slave, just doesn’t feel right. i positively do not possess Her. Clearly She possesses me. She is not from my family; i am a slave in Hers. The state of ownership in Femdom slavery is bilateral not bidirectional in my heart.

Now about the use of the noun “My Lady,” which is applicable to a Woman of superior social status and position, especially one of noble birth. Yes, Goddess Ezada Sinn surely fits that qualification. Notice however that the first letter in “My” is capitalized. More often than not i never see capitalization used in the two word phrases i listed paragraphs above.

Yet, all of this assumption on my part, gets immediately tossed out the window if Goddess Ezada directs me to pen phrases such as “i love, my Owner” … “Te iubesc, Stapana mea.” In the end the person who owns the slave defines how Her property shall speak and how it shall act, both in public and in private.

Yet, until i am instructed differently this slave named sit shall coral using the possessive only into phrases such as:

• my beaten and bloodied ass.
  
• my bruised and humiliated male ego.
  
• my lack of actual real orgasms.
  

To that end ….

• i worship You Goddess Ezada Sinn.
  
• Te iubesc, Stapana.
  

Words from the Goddess Ezada Sinn.


“your life would be so much more fulfilled under My 24/7 total control, working only for Me!  Offer Me everything!  Every minute of your life.”

DearOwner&Goddess.

How do i beg?

How do i lay exposed … naked to my very bones before You?
How do i make vulnerable … my spirit for You to take and twist?


Please accept every heated second, not just every meager minute of Your sit’s life.  To please You … to cry joy, to submit and to surrender all of whom i am to You.

The concrete possibility of reaching such a nobel pinnacle, the factual and tangible rank of TOTAL slavery to the Goddess Ezada Sinn, is genuine and not a flight of fancy.

To prove worthy of such an honored place in “heel” beside You, in “wait” before You.  i offer Goddess more than every thing of me.

Yes, i plead for the opening to do so.
i offer Goddess Ezada Sinn, sit’s own body, passion, and soul.