oh but I adore how everyone in this stupid pirate show is just a guy
I haven’t seen ppl talk about it much but. the absolute lack of shredded abs. people show tummy and cleavage and there’s not the barest hint of muscle definition anywhere
obviously some of them are very fit but it never leaves “works a physically demanding job and happens to be naturally thin” territory
and guys are fat! guys have bellies and rounded shoulders and chubby cheeks and imperfect teeth and thinning hair and are styled weirdly (that’s a whole different post but the crew especially look so unprofessional styled it’s great)
and they are still all hot! they are hot and desirable and find each other hot and desirable and I love that
I love to see it! nobody in this show looks like they had a personal trainer. and not just the side characters, not just a token fat guy - obv Taika Waititi is the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen and that little bit of tummy pudge spilling out of his crop top made us all lose our collective minds. but it’s everyone else too; and it’s not the extend of it either. no other show would have let black pete within 10 feet of a romance arc, much less been this sweet and sincere about it
this show is so comfortable with the human body in all it’s glorious imperfection and I am in love with it
YES i’ve been thinking about this for DAYS
lots of them have awkward teeth or “unusual” face shapes, and basically no one is hollywood fit, there are multiple fat characters who are never made the butt of the joke for it, the older characters have lines and worn skin… like…
it reminds me of this excerptfromthe tragedy of heterosexuality, tbh. how queer spaces, unlike straight ones, get to glory in the body as desirable becauseof its “flaws” and “gross” details. straight cis norms would have the body be reduced and purified before it can be gendered and made desirable, and we see it all the time in mainstream media: shaved, toned, slimmed, tanned, made up, with all the sweat and filth and disability and fatness and gender abnormality stripped away. women waking up already wearing mascara, men dehydrated so their abs pop on camera.
and this show has noneof that. your point about black pete is exactlyit! and about the styling, too! in this interview, Maher, Foad, and Schutte mention that the actors were involved in creating and designing their own characters, and it shows! they were there to convey character and personality, not to be convenionally hot or just fade into the background.
And yeah, obviously Blackbeard decked out in all his black leather is both hot as hell and slightly satirising a silly trend (“I have one knife and one gun, just like everyone else!”), but it still has its idiosyncracies, especiallyas the show progresses. even some of his tattoos are faded or a bit wonky! and I don’t think Vikingswould’ve had the guts to put any of its brooding badass heroes in little beard bows and purple crop tops and pretty half-up hairdos.
and it applies to things like accents, too! I’ve mentioned before about how one of the things I fucking adore about the show is that everyone’s just using their natural accents! there are kiwis and aussies and americans and regionalbritish accents and - just, regional accents!! the only accent used as a joke is the Swede, for heaven’s sake! everyone else’s is just a real detail of a unique person with their own background and perspective.
obviously, among the Brits especially, this also ties into class, and how a pirate show gets to lean heavily into focusing on working class characters, but it goes further than that. no one’s doing a silly “yarr, pirate” accent. no one’s putting on working class airs or smoothing out regional differences. again, there are real new zealand and australian accents in the mix. !!!
and they’re all hot as hell! and they find each other hot! they’re normal people with normal quirks, and they’re still desirable and funny and (sometimes) competent. they’re just human. they’re just guys.<3
genuinely obsessed with how the crew went from planning on murdering stede to considering him family and in a way their protector? like. they all were in a way performing this image of wanting a ruthless pirate as their boss but ultimately once they do get one (izzy) they’re like mmh. no actually. no thanks. because they got used to and accepted wanting to be safe and a family on the revenge.
stede built a ship where people who would otherwise be subjected to homophobia and racism can just be a safe little supportive community and talk about their problems, be gay, not worry about being discriminated, love each other and just be their weird soft selves. they jump to defend stede against the english, they follow him in his stupid little adventures, olu sleeps in stede’s cabin, wee john and frenchie are roomies, they all share blankets and sometimes even cuddle while stede reads them stories, they’re supportive of buttons and sad when karl dies because they know he cared about him, they ask each other for advice, they’re unapologically queer.
and this is all because stede built this space they feel safe in. its not just that they don’t give a shit about hiding that they’re gay/scamming piece of shit racists/jim being genderqueer from stede; its that they expect his support and protection. lucius basically saying ‘stede will have your head if i get hurt’ to izzy, stede kicking jack off the ship when karl dies because it made buttons sad, even the last scene in which stede is the one who comes get them off the island. and they’re right to expect his help! he takes care of them! they’re his family! ‘my family’s at sea’ LITERALLY the found family of outcasts trope. and they’re all queer. they start off playing though but ultimately they’re vulnerable, they cry, they’re supportive and physically affectionate with each other, it’s just. i adore how stede made them feel safe enough to be themselves and consider each other their family. it’s so wholesome, it’s so beautiful, and i’m pretty sure its one of the big reasons queer people are so called to this show. because of this sense of safety and community and family between outcasts. and also there’s sexy pirates so you know. that doesn’t hurt either
tumblr user, drinking a bottle of uncontaminated water in post apocalyptic america: i love this?? this is so pure omg
tumblr user, finding a miraculously untouched packet of frozen pastries in post-apocalyptic america: beautiful cinnamon roll too good for this world, too pure
tumblr user, succumbing to dehydration in the wilderness of post-apocalyptic america: my hands are literally shaking as I type this
tumblr edgelord, to a booby-trap in post-apocalyptic america, an arrow embedded deep in their chest: i’m sorry, are you triggered?
tumblr user, attempting to reestablish a pony express mail service across the shattered remnants of post-apocalyptic america: this post is important
tumblr user, standing behind thousands of other refugees from post-apocalyptic america, straining to hear the instructions of the volunteer who is giving them their floor space assignments: say it louder for the people in the back
tumblr user, handing out vials —filled with a cure for the plague which has devastated the world— to the remaining people of post-apocalyptic america: spread this like wildfire
tumblr user, checking the post-apocalyptic town’s notice board for information important to rebuilding: why doesn’t this have more notes??
tumblr user, about to venture out into a dangerous part of the post-apocalyptic world with a small group of volunteers for whom they care for dearly and are concerned about the mental wellbeing of and the impact the adventure could have on them: if you don’t like this unfollow me right now
tumblr user, watching a boy be dragged into the stocks of a post-apocalyptic settlement for the crime of stealing a crust of bread: FREE HIM
Post post modernism
tumblr user, trekking on foot across the burned out plains of post-apocalyptic america in search of refuge for what seems like forever: Is Canada even real?
tumblr user, being offered bark tea to fend off against scurvy in post-apocalyptic america: This tea is HOT!
tumblr user, alone and searching for the warmth and comfort of other humans and being jumped by a group of post-apocalyptic american vigilantes: I came out to have a good time and i’m honestly feeling so attacked right now
tumblr user, caring for a nursery of small children, the last children born into this broken, dying world, gently feeding them watery broth: take a fuckin’ sip babes
tumblr user, watching a suspicious figure approach the gates of their ramshackle settlement in post-apocalyptic america: who is she
tumblr user, looking helplessly at their shattered pole weapon before perishing in the battle circle of post-apocalyptic america: wtf staff
While we like to joke about Izzy being in the wrong genre, I would argue that there are in fact at least five distinct genre universes in the world of Our Flag Means Death, and all of them have different rules.
Stede Bonnet, and his crew when they’re around him, live in a Muppet movie. I didn’t come up with this analogy but it’s so accurate. Insane physical comedy and comedy-action where no one really gets hurt. Mild peril but you know everything is gonna work out. Terrible puns and sight gags, but room for sweet, genuine emotional moments too. The rules of time, space, probability and logic will bend for a good joke.
Izzy Hands is in a grimdark action/drama where if someone gets stabbed in the gut they will behave normally and fucking die. (Probably slowly and painfully, of sepsis.) Crucially I think Izzy also lives in a genre where you can only be subtextually queer, and violence (done for or with or to each other) is the only acceptable form of intimacy between men. This is why being forcibly dragged into Stede’s world, where everyone is busy having silly low-stakes misadventures and being gay and emotionally available all over the main text–and seeing his Subtextual Boyfriend go into this world and love it–sends him round the twist.
The British, Spanish and other imperialist militaries are in a Master and Commander-style naval adventure where they’re the heroes. This is why they all take it completely seriously when Stede (unintentionally) kills Badminton and takes hostages, even though we can see that he bumbled his way into it ass-backwards. This is also why Stede is so shocked to get actually for real stabbed aboard the Spanish ship. (“Did you mean to do that?”) He didn’t realize until that moment that he’d stepped into a different genre. The stabbing is one of the first Surprise Genre Switch moments we get and in retrospect it’s very important for setting up that in this world, the threat of getting hurt or killed is very real–which we need to understand to know that there are real stakes much later, when Stede almost gets executed by the British.
As part of his scheme with Gamora’s President Bendix to wipe out the superhero community and replace them with corporate and government controlled super-stooges, Lex attempts to use footage of one of said stooges getting killed via a cranial explosive as “evidence” that Jon is a rampaging murderous idiot.
i will never be over the fact that during first contact a human offered their hand to a vulcan and the vulcan was just like “wow humans are fucking wild” and took it
Humanity’s first contact with Vulcans was some guy going “I’m down to fuck.”
Vulcans’ first contact with Humans was an emphatic “Sure.”
“sir…these…these humans…they greet each other by…” *glances around before furtively whispering* “by clasping hands…”
*prolonged silence* “oh my…”
“sir…sir how will we make first contact with them? surely we…we cannot refuse this handclasping ritual, they will take it as an insult, but what vulcan would agree to such a distasteful and uncomfortable ritual??”
*several pensive moments later* “contact the vulcan high command and tell them to send us kuvak. i once saw that crazy son of a bitch arm wrestle a klingon, he’ll put his hands on anything”
Elsewhere, w/ kuvak: “….my day has come.”
The vulcan who made first contact with humans is named Solkar guys. Y’all just be makin’ up names for characters that already have names.
Bonus: here’s a screencap of Solkar doing the “my body is ready” pose right before he shakes Zefram Cochrane’s hand:
I swear Vulcans only come in two types and they are “distant xenophobes” or “horny on main for humanity”. Also apparently this guy is Spock’s great-grandfather and frankly that explains everything.
Hey so I looked into this at one point and that handshake literally created a lifelong telepathic bond between the two of them, and basically all of Solkar’s descendants were later obsessed with humans, including freaking SPOCK, so I’m not saying that handshake was so gay and good that it created an intergenerational telepathic bond between Solkar’s descendants and humans, but I’m also not….not….saying that.
The slow deliberationwith which Solkar takes Cockrane’s–I’m sorry, Cochrane’s–hand… The sheer sensuality witch which Solkar infuses an otherwise borderline impersonal social ritual… It clearly shows a very conscious knowledge, on Solkar’s part, of what the significance of the handshake is in Vulcan terms and of how affected he is by it.
That’s why he’s so slow in doing it, and so sensual. A part of Solkar can’t believe this is happening, despite it being a perfectly logical thing to expect from a human, and the rest of him can’t believe how good it is.
I bet that if the camera zoomed in any further we would see the dilation of Solkar’s pupils and a quickly-repressed shiver of delight. Cochrane’s firm, businesslike clasp is probably (in sexual terms) being perceived as a deliciously carnal display of dominance.
No wonder Solkar is all like, “TAKE ME, YOU WILD-MANNERED BARBARIAN WITH ENTICINGLY ROUGH CALLUSES.”
And so we find out that yes, there is such a thing as bottoming in Pon-farr.
Every time this post comes round my dash, it just gets better.
hey everyone, great news! starting monday we’re relaxing our don’t-piss-in-the-pool requirements and no longer mandating that swimmers control their bladders while in the water. of course if you’re more comfortable not pissing in the pool, you may continue to do so - everyone should make the pee decision that feels safest for them and their family. please respect everyone’s choice about where to pee. thanks
fantastic update, our restaurant has lifted its smoking ban and is now smoking-optional. you may continue to not smoke inside if you’d prefer, but we’re excited to now offer our guests the freedom to make everyone else in this enclosed airspace inhale whatever particulates they’d like to release via combustion. if you have like some kind of health problem or whatever, you are totally welcome to choose not to smoke. we’re very excited to be getting back to normal!
New original 3D animated movie:Ducks. The secret life of ducks when humans aren’t looking.
Whenever ducks fly south in the winter, they’re actually flying to a big city of ducks where they talk and have jobs and have traffic lights with pictures of ducks in them and every billboard and storefront is a bird pun.
A generic duck guy is a young adult who feels inadequate because his dad is a big broker in the bread stock exchange.
He accidentally reveals the secret life of ducks to a human child, and now he must take her south with him to duck city. On the way they get into hijinks and find out about a big duck conspiracy or something.
I was thinking at first this was an actual movie
It will be if you just give me 3 years and $150,000,000
How many times would “duck” be confused between the physical action and the animal in question?
12 times for comedic effect. 1 time used ironically in a sad moment in the end of act II. And 1 time in the last act when the protagonist has to say something badass when he defeats the bad guy.
This winter, ditch the binoculars and rediscoverbird-watching with the hot new movie…….DUCK!!!!
The FDA has allowed companies to not label things with gluten allergens. This means that, once again, the gluten free label can deceptive, and we need to start reading through all of the ingredients again (unless it has the verified label from GFCO). I’m not entirely sure how far this goes, but if looking for treats, do Not believe: cadbury cream eggs, newman o’s. They are not gluten free. Stay safe!
Here is an example of the GFCO logo, they verify that advertised gluten free foods actually are:
Either of these logos means that a food has been verified by a third party company that is not the FDA (who has proven we cant trust them). I’m not sure about other verification companies, but I trust this one because they certify gluten free within celiac sensitivity standards. If you know of any other companies, feel free to add!
Once again, stay safe!
Non-celiac people are encouraged to reblog this.
ID: Image of two GCFO logos.
The first one is in all black and has the abbreviation “GF” in a black circle. Above and below are the words “Certified” and “Gluten-Free”.
The second logo has the words “Gluten Free” and a large lowercase “g” in purple and outlined in green. Above and below reads “Certified” and “GFCO.ORG”. /end ID
For the people saying that it wasn’t on theme need to watch her Met Gala interview. The style of jewelry and materials used were the same used during that point in history (1870-1890). They’re made from bone, porcupine quills, and shells harvested responsibly from her tribe.
Also, for indigenous tribes during the time period, this was not a “Gilded Age.” This was the time where gold was found in the Black Hills, and where the Fort Laramie Treaty was broken. Displacing and forcibly removing families from their homes. Children were kidnapped to be put into Christian boarding schools and never saw their families again. This was the time where Sitting Bull and Crazy Horse formed their alliances against Custer and the 7th Cavalry at the Battle of Little Big Horn. The tribes may have pushed the regiment back, but it lead to more tension and violence from the US Government in retaliation.
It was during this time where a camp in South Dakota was filled with the desperate tribe of Lakota families during the winter. They looked for comfort in their traditional ways and began praying for their ancestors to help them. The soldiers that had surrounded the camp didn’t know that what they were doing was a traditional Ghost Dance, they thought that they were trying to somehow communicate with other tribes and fight back against them. In the dead of winter, they killed over half of the tribe’s men women and children for no reason other than their paranoia.
From my perspective, the dress and the jewelry are representative of the beauty and the hardship of that Gilded Era. We may not have dressed in tulle and gold and jewels, but she is the splitting image of the spirits that would have come to answer the ancestor’s prayers. She represents the absolute spite that we Lakota and indigenous people have lived through. And she is such an icon for that.
