The Assessment: aka the schmoopiest fluff I ever wrote
It was time. Baldwin had been given the opportunity to examine the twins. He had only glimpsed them at the church, so new and well-swaddled he could hardly sense anything from them. This was, of course, disguised as an avuncular visit. He knocked on the door of Les Revenants with two large teddy bears, one on each hip. He steeled himself for whatever he might find, whatever he might have to do to protect the family.
“Oh, Baldwin,” said Diana as she opened the door (Matthew let her open her own door?!?) “those bears are bigger than they are!”
“They’ll grow into them,” said Baldwin. He smiled. It was not convincing. He knew Diana had only permitted this so he would stop emailing and calling her about it.
He was shown into the salon, now covered in pillows and blankets and playpens. Diana re-emerged with a wiggling lump in a pink and yellow blanket. “Philip is asleep, but this one almost never takes her nap.”
Noted, thought Baldwin.
“This might be a silly question, but have you ever held a baby before?” asked Diana as she was about to handle one half of her entire heart over to her adopted brother.
Baldwin blinked, lip curling. “I have had the occasion to over the millennia. Support the head?” He held his hands out. He could smell the girl from there. She smelt of baby. And Matthew. And Diana. And mostly, of vampire. Diana gently handed Becca to Baldwin.
She wriggled, testing her new situation and managed to free her arms from the confines of the blanket. Baldwin shifted her to one arm, head cradled by the crook of his elbow as he attempted to replace it. It was true he knew little of babies, but he did know that they needed blankets and were prone to catch a chill.
Well, she could certainly pass for a human child. And she seemed to be growing normally. Her fists were already swinging about, albeit rather aimlessly. As he tried to cover her arms back up with the blanket, she caught his finger in one tiny hand.
Oh, thought Baldwin. If he hadn’t been holding her, he might have grasped his chest. He felt a pang between his ribs. But also a warmth? A tremendous warm ache? She squeezed his finger, pulling his hand towards her.
“That’s not your pacie,” said Baldwin, trying to sound stern as Becca pulled his hand over her face towards her mouth. He pulled his hand away. Oh dear, now the feeling was behind his eyes. They felt a little wet.
Baldwin tickled her tummy tentatively. He didn’t know what to do with her now he had her. She felt warm and squishy.
“Gah!” she squealed, letting out a peal of laughter. She kicked her legs under the blanket. As he moved to grab her head again, she grasped his finger once more, bringing it over her face. This time, she had gotten his pinky finger with his signet ring on it.
“Oh, she likes your ring,” said Diana. “Shiny! Shiny ring!” Baldwin looked at her oddly. Motherhood seemed to have caused her to regress to a state of idiocy.
Becca pulled it towards her mouth and tried to close her lips over it.
“Ah. Well done. You’ve kissed my ring. You may call me ‘Uncle Baldwin,’” he over enunciated to her as if she might actually remember it. “Oh, but you can’t say that. I’ll excuse you. You haven’t any teeth. Perhaps you might call me…” Baldwin searched through his many names. A memory surfaced. The first time he had held a baby. It had been his little sister. Another memory followed. Loo loo loo loo loo loo, she had trilled at him from his mother’s arms. “Lu? It will be a while before you can manage Lucius.” He cuddled her close to his face. “Loo loo loo loo loo. Yes, that’s nice. It’s very fun to say,” he grinned back at Becca’s gummy smile at his little name song.
She reached up and touched his face, tiny fingers warm against his cool chin. He stood up abruptly. “Very good. A healthy baby. Well done,” he said to Diana, handing her back and turning as if to regard the vista from the window. “And the boy? Will he wake soon? I haven’t all day.” He waited until Matthew looked away at Diana and Becca to quickly wipe at the corner of his eye.
When asked by his fellow vampires if he had seen the children, he would say that he had, and they had not done anything remarkable. They were simply babies. And he would say it in such a way that everyone knew that if they went within smelling distance of the twins, he would tear their head off and punt it like a football across the French Alps and then rip their body in half longwise and use it as skis.
I can’t!!! I just love this, just wanna include an addition:
———
“Baldwin?” Marcus frowned at the sight of the de Clermont patriarch standing in the doorway.
His tie was loose, the first two buttons in his shirt undone and, most concerning of all, his jacket was being crushed in his hand.
He looked worried.
“Do not panic but there is a chance I have been exposed to a vampire pathogen.“ Marcus looked dumbly at Baldwin for a moment before jumping into action.
“Okay, alright, let’s figure this out.”
What followed was a battery of blood tests, ECG, EEG, X-Ray, CAT scans.
Baldwin paced whilst waiting for Marcus to interpret the results.
“Blood work is normal, all tests, normal. How do you feel now?”
“What does that have to do with anything? I’m either ill or I’m not, you have the results.”
“You came to me, if you won’t cooperate I can’t help you!”
“Normal, I suppose.”
“When you came in you complained of an intense burning in your chest, that’s gone?”
“Thankfully. It was like being set on fire from the inside.”
“And the allergy response, watering eyes?”
“That’s gone too.”
Marcus’ phone buzzed and he glanced at it.
“You are in the middle of a consultation!” Baldwin rebuked.
“Sorry, you’re right, Diana likes to send cute little photos of the twins.”
Baldwin’s eyes narrowed.
“Show me.” He replied with a defeated surrender.
Diana had sent a photo with both twins being carefully cradled by the bears Baldwin had gifted them.
“That is cute, I-“ Baldwin stopped, had to his chest, “it’s back, the burning is back. Is this a spell?”
Marcus shook his head.
“I know what it is.”
“Well?”
“You won’t like the answer.”
“Marcus so help me-“
“Okay, it’s-“
“Stress,” Miriam, who had been working silently the whole time, took out her EarPods and shot Marcus a silencing glare, “it’s just stress.”
“Unlikely,” Baldwin retorted, “I have managed Matthew for fifteen-hundred-years, why would I suffer from stress now?”
“The blood vow extends to the children, concern for their safety is hard-coded into your DNA. For all the grief Matthew gave you, he wasn’t a helpless baby.”
“So what do I do?”
“Yoga, meditate, have a long hot bubble bath, visit one of your many lovers?” Miriam needled.
“Should I avoid the children?”
“Won’t help, you need to acclimate. The more time you spend with them the faster the symptoms will lessen.” She offered.
“This is an unwelcome development,” he frowned, “thank you both for your assistance and I trust in your discretion.”
“Of course.” Miriam gave him a nod.
“Spoilsport!” Marcus pouted when Baldwin left.
“Did you actually want to tell Mr Control that his greatest Achilles Heel is his love for infants who can’t even hold their heads up by themselves yet?”
———
Please people, please if you feel the urge please join in with your own additions, love Baldwin feeling feelings!!!
