Happy blogversary to the wonderful Liv @sitp-recs!!!
Liv has brought so many people into the Drarry fandom through her recs, including myself. She is so generous with her time and knowledge, and her fic recs are gorgeous.
Liv, we want you to know just how loved and appreciated you are, and how important you are to so many people. I hope you enjoy this little snippet of soft boys.
I hate him, until he smiles. Before he smiles he is the saviour, he is the poster boy, he is the carrier of the weight of the world. But when he smiles he is Harry, my Harry.
Out there, for them, he must be strong, stoic. He is the perfect Head Auror, his Order of Merlin, First Class, beautifully polished before each gala, each press conference. I style his hair, straighten his collar, shine his shoes. I cannot go with him, but I am always there, hidden in the shadows where only he can see me. It is not perfect, but it is enough.
The public that praises him is the same one that spurns me. But they do not know what I know. They do not know that every word he speaks is written by me, his feet in my lap as we curl together by the fire. They do not know his impeccable manners have been drilled into him by me, over beans on toast and gooey brownies, during nights filled with laughter and love. That elegant waltz with which he leads the Minister’s wife is the same one that spins me around our living room as I hold him close, soothing his fears with my heartbeat alone.
His public persona is perfect, free from any crack or strain. Each day he layers on his mask and steps out into a world that, to him, is as bleak as the one he grew up in. The public sees only the victorious saviour. I am the only one who knows the weight on his shoulders, knows that he will never consider himself done.
But at the end of the day, he walks back through the door, allowing his mask to melt away. The darkness is left outside, his eyes always blinking as if in wonder at the light, the freedom, that he has walked into. He allows me to fold him into my arms, to bundle him up and protect him from the world, for just a little while.
My life is full of so many mistakes, so many wrongs that I cannot atone for. But I can do this. I can love him, protect him. I can soften the edges that the day has wrought on his body, on his mind. I can show him a love that no one had ever shown him before, whisper I love you into his skin. You’re worth it.
I hate watching him go every morning, brows furrowed, shoulders tight. But here, in our tiny cottage, I see him smile. And I love him, love him, love him.
Oh, Katie. I’m so utterly in love with this, you have no idea. You had my heart in your hands with the very first paragraph “but when he smiles he’s Harry, my Harry”. I don’t know how you managed to convey such bittersweet tenderness in this tiny drabble, this aching Draco feels so vulnerable and familiar, so very relatable in his conflict between wanting more than a life in the shadows, and convincing himself it’s enough that he’s the one who gets to see and protect the real Harry. This sort of devoted angst always tugs at my heartstrings and makes me ache with the character, it’s so lovely to be inside Draco’s mind and suffer this special brand of heartbreak through him.
I’m incredibly humbled and thankful that you wrote something this gorgeous and poignant for me, and inspired by that amazing song!! I freaking love SaL, everything they write is so shippable thank you darling, for this special gift and for all the reblogs, lovely tags, compliments and enthusiasm celebrating my blogversary today, I appreciate it so much
