#all it takes chapter nine

Chapter Nine
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SUMMARY:The legends head to Psamathe for three weeks. [CONT.]
RATING:K-T
SHIPS: Wattson and Octane
TAGS:alcohol, food mention, fluff, angst, slow burn
around 16.2k words

An alarm blaring at his side and knocking coming from the door awoke Octavio from his slumber. He had a headache pounding profusely as he came to his senses. It was morning, that much he knew from the light pouring through his curtains, but he wished for more time to sleep away the hangover.

He grumbled out, pulling the pillow over his head to block out the noise and light. He had no desire to leave his bed, knowing that the first event was awaiting him downstairs. He was going to have to face cameras and questions when all he had was questions of his own.

The alarm continued to beep insistently and it only made his headache worse but he was stuck laying in the bed, forcing his eyes shut to try to block it out.  

The flashbacks of everything that happened last night came back like a stifling nightmare.

He wanted to waste away and just disappear into the bed, though he knew whoever was behind his door seemed too persistent to leave.  

He wished he could rewind time and redo the entire day over. He would’ve spent it differently and appreciated another kind of day with Natalie, one he could actually remember. Instead, he was dreading seeing her after he vaguely remembered showing up at her door. He couldn’t really remember anything from the party besides Natalie; she was all that he could summon in his foggy brain shrouded by the alcohol he drank that night. He knew because of this the majority of the day would be rocky at best trying to piece his memory together.  

Octavio peeked over the pillow as the door opened, the sound of footsteps approaching the edge of his bed. They must have gotten a key from the front desk, he thought. He spotted the shoes at the floor, knowing they were now standing above his bed and groaned quietly.  

“No.” he grumbled as the barrier between him and the world was torn from his hands, the pillow flying across the room.

Above him, Elliott stood with an impatient look on his face. His arms crossed over his chest and his foot tapping sarcastically, shaking his head with a ‘tsk’.

“You don’t get a say so here, man. I’d say I’m sorry but it’s not my fault you’re this wrecked. I’ve never seen you drink that much.” he said, pulling the blankets back from Octavio and onto the floor. “You are so late it’s not even funny and I don’t have time to stick around to make sure you get up. I told Ajay I’d come do this because she’s already in an interview and mine starts in fifteen. So, if you follow the problem here… maybe get out of bed.”

Octavio glared at Elliott as he spoke, throwing one of the other pillows on the bed at his head. It missed and flew past, landing on the ground near the other one. Octavio groaned faintly, watching Elliott walk around the room and shot him a pained look. “Compadre, begging you to keep it down.”

Elliott shook his head, wandering to open each of the curtains for extra measure. “Yeah, well, get over that because it is loud and it is busy downstairs. Oh, and guess what you have to go. It’s nine and you have no time to get ready. Good luck.”

The light shone in and Octavio put his hand to his eyes, wincing from the piercing headache. He let out a frustrated sigh, reattaching his legs and standing with a lazy stretch.

Elliott gave him a thumbs up, leaving out the door he never should’ve been able to open if Octavio had a say.

Once the door latched closed, he was left alone with his headache and regrets from last night again. Now, torn too far from sleep to be able to lay back down to hide from the day.  

He’d rather be late to his interview, which wasn’t something he’d ever think he would say.

Normally, he would sprint at the chance to be in front of a camera, he was consistently in front of one by choice anyway with his livestreams, but he had no mindset to answer questions today. He didn’t want to even try. He could try to dodge most of the event if he tried and hope he could talk himself out of it later, though knew it was inevitable for him to have to go. He just had to hope that he could find Natalie amongst the chaos of the day, he needed to see her after last night. He needed to make sure he didn’t do something unmanageable.  

The idea of damage control was never in his knowledge. He wasn’t the type to follow up a mistake with an apology, not unless it benefited him in some way. He never did anything wrong, just things other people found discouraging. He scraped by to keep people from being mad at him, and it was normally enough with his grin and excuses. He just didn’t feel alright with leaving last night alone, even if he wasn’t sure what exactly happened. It involved Natalie, it felt off, and that alone propelled him to change trajectories.  

A new plan; focus on Natalie and hope maybe he could find a quiet moment to tell her how he felt.

If he could just tell her how he felt things would change, they would be different, he was sure of it.

Even though the thought of telling her how he felt meant being vulnerable, and that was almost enough to send him running the other direction like it always did. Natalie had become a guiding force, though, and even if he was terrified, he wasn’t turning back. He decided that a while ago and it only cemented itself now.

He would find her and talk to her and sort out everything – though it seemed all too familiar in hindsight. Did he do this last night? He wasn’t sure. He just felt like something had happened and didn’t know what. The looming disaster sat in the back of his head but he wasn’t sure why. He could muster the memory of dancing and Natalie, that burning of the alcohol going down, and the thumping of his heartrate all night; besides that, he was running on empty for ideas of what had went down entirely.

He only knew so much from what was real last night and it all felt like sorrows of things he did wrong.

It put a weight on him not being able to figure out what happened while feeling so terribly. He had to find someone to set the story straight. He knew one of the best choices, though most likely uncomfortable, would be Natalie. She was the one thing striking through his memory of the night, so it was the best place to start to put it all back together in his head.

The option to talk to anyone who was at the party was there but he actually wanted to see Natalie, and this was an easy way to do both at the same time. Even though he was going in unaware of if he may had done something terribly wrong last night. He had no idea if he told her how he felt and it made him slightly apprehensive. He wanted to tell her, truthfully, but what if he had but forgotten it?

What if he told her and she shunned him?

He tore through his luggage on the floor, tossing a few things to the side and tried to find something presentable to wear. What exactly was determined presentable to them he wasn’t sure, but he knew it wasn’t going to be his normal wardrobe. He was also struck with the new question of Natalie and her opinions on what he would wear – since when did that matter? He never cared about anyone’s opinion but his own, but now he was subconsciously double checking for pieces in his bag that he thought would catch her attention.  

He rummaged through the suitcase, tossing through some of his clothes and tried to find the most suitable thing he could use.  

He found a pair of looser fitted black pants that were tailored a bit higher on his leg, retching slightly as he realized this was going to be his life for the next three weeks before continuing to search for a top.  

The room was too quiet compared to how much he was thinking right now, and it didn’t help soothe his nerves at all. Now that he had decided to just try to tell her how he felt, he couldn’t relax. He paced into the bathroom as he adjusted his goggles and mask onto his face with the shirt he chose tucked in his hand.

He thought he’d assembled a decent outfit, pulling the sheer white button up on and tucking it into his pants. He looked at himself in the mirror as he got ready, looking himself from side to side with a sigh. Given the fact he hated having to wear it, at least he looked decently good. He rushed through applying some hair product, and decided it was as good as it came right now with the time limit he had.

He was late but he didn’t need to make it worse. He already knew he wasn’t headed directly to his interview.

He cracked his neck from side to side, shaking his fingers through his hair one last time and checked his appearance in the mirror. Satisfied, he turned the light off, hurrying around and making sure he had everything for the day.

He bolted out the door, letting the door slam behind him as he took off down the hall. A small line of fans waiting at the elevators detoured him to the staircase instead, pulling open the doors to start his descent to the main floor. He didn’t need the quality time with his own mind, but he had it, and all that he could think about was Natalie.  

The thought of her morphing with his desire for adrenaline – as it felt the same in his heart, beating wildly in his chest.

The sound of his feet on the concrete stairs made his headache worse, and he was trying to get the walk over with as fast as possible for more than one reason. The distant sound of chatter that grew louder the closer he got made him realize just how busy the event was this year and hoped it would make sneaking around that much easier.

Octavio slammed through the doors at the lowest level, using his elbow to push the door open and slowed his pace once he entered into the crowded lobby. A few people spotted him, taking some photos and gaping at him as he passed them by but the majority of the crowd didn’t notice his entrance. He glanced around the room, scanning the faces.

What was filled with workers yesterday was now filled with fans and executives of the games today. Vendors and people with lanyard passes around their necks walking from room to room. It was flooded with people and he knew Natalie would hate it, so the chance to find her would be slim since she wouldn’t stay long in the lobby. He didn’t know when her interview started or where to look, but he was determined to track her down before he did anything else today.

A piece of himself was telling him he had to see her, and he couldn’t argue with that.

He was on the edge of the lobby near a few of the boardrooms sectioned off for interviews. Some of the doors were closed tightly during interviews, and some doors open to welcome people to sit before one was about to start.  

He walked casually through the crowd, the loud chatter shattering his headache to oblivion as he went. He rounded a corner from the stairs, peering through a few of the doors to see who was inside as he went.  

He aimlessly walked past three rooms before he found what he was looking for: Natalie.

The door was almost menacing, staring through the glass circle in the door to see her on the other side. All he had to do was go inside and get her attention, he would figure out what to do from there. That was his plan, at least so far. He just needed to talk to her, he reminded himself, it was only words. If she was anything like him during these events, there was a chance she would be grateful for the excuse to leave.  

He checked his surroundings to see if anyone had noticed him at the door, slinking into the room as quietly as he could, but the whirring mechanics of his legs didn’t help his stealth too much in a quiet boardroom.  

A few people sitting in the back row turned to spot him. He put a finger up to his mask and then pointed back at Natalie who was speaking at the front of the room, signifying them to stay quiet and turn their attention back to Natalie as he made his way to the back wall. He didn’t want to take attention away from her by any means while she was speaking, he just needed to steal her away for a minute – or hopefully more.  

He waited there silently undetected by Natalie while she answered a few questions, but she spotted him after about five minutes.

She looked over at him with a confused gaze, trailing off her sentence as she looked back at the crowd. She stalled her words, letting out an ‘um’ and a small sigh. Her eyes looked back and forth between Octavio and the rest of the crowd, unable to figure out where to go from here.

She couldn’t tell his expression because of the mask and wished they were somewhere private so they could talk one on one. The legends never normally had time to be an audience member at another interview – so why was he here? Her instant thought was worry that something had happened but knew he may just interject if it was that urgent. So, perhaps, it was because of last night.

He gestured his head towards the door, tilting it to the side when she locked eyes with him.

He wanted her to follow him. If she didn’t want to walk away from her interview she didn’t have too, but he had to try to pull her away from it. It was worth giving it a chance to see if she would come talk to him now, he couldn’t wait. Natalie had a better work ethic than most of the legends on the roster, he actually admired her for it, sometimes. It was a low percentage he would get her to come talk, but he was optimistic; as always.

Natalie tried to turn her attention back to the questions being thrown at her, most of them revolving around her pylon and some of her memorable matches that occurred over the year. She couldn’t answer them properly though, not right now. She had distracted herself all morning over her thoughts of Octavio, finally getting them to subside shortly ago. Now, that was impossible with him standing at the back of the room and beckoning her to follow.  

She had wasted most of her morning lying in bed, unable to get up because her heart hurt. A feeling she hadn’t felt in a long while, and it took its toll that morning as she dragged herself around. She felt heavy as she went about the day and got ready, and even now she wasn’t feeling her normal self. Even though she and Octavio left off on a decent note it still sat sour on her tongue. Perhaps because she didn’t get what she wanted in the end and someone else could have so quickly. She felt foolish to assume she could get that attention from him, to assume anything would happen.

She felt as if she was leading herself on. It wasn’t a thought she wanted to give any more time, but it always crept back in.  

She felt badly for thinking of him so often when she had no idea how much she ran across his mind, or if at all. Was it selfish to wish she was on his thoughts as much as she thought of him? She wasn’t sure, but couldn’t break the new habit.

Now, he was showing up places trying to whisk her away and she couldn’t help but want to follow the lure.  

She smiled politely, folding her hands in her lap and scrunched her fingers at the yellow fabric wrapping her skin. A sundress for the day seemed ironic, when nothing about this felt bright. If anything, she was worried he had come to apologize for being so forward and put distance between the two of them. Her mind searched for the worst outcomes, trying to prepare herself for the upcoming shatter if it was around the corner.  

She stood up slowly, biting at the inside of her cheek nervously while flashing a fake smile to the cameras and reporters. “Excusez-moi! It seems I may have something to attend.”

Natalie descended the few stairs from the small stage, waving at the crowd with a smile and hoped they wouldn’t mind her departure. She couldn’t turn down Octavio though, the sight of him pulling her in. She wondered if this is how it felt for him with his stim; the want and need to be around him becoming more addicting and sending her on a rush whenever he was near her.  

Octavio waited as she walked towards the back of the room, taking her hand to guide her to a hiding spot and tugging her along out the door.  

She followed willingly, leaving the interview she didn’t want to be at behind and tucked up around the corner with him behind a large overflowing plant. Once they were out of sight from the majority of the crowd, he rubbed his hands together and looked at her with an unnecessary chuckle because of his nerves. He felt clammy now that he was looking right at her, trying to figure out where to start now that they were face to face. Was this the wrong place to tell her this or was he making an excuse for himself?

She pulled the sleeves of her cardigan to her palms, wrapping herself up and hiding the sundress she wore under the knitted pattern. She could tell that he seemed anxious about something, and when his constant state was jittering around without pause it was harder to tell the difference. Yet, something seemed off.

“Is everything okay?” she asked, concern in her voice though quiet. She had a lot of things she wanted to say last night but knew they weren’t going to be heard so she kept them to herself. She wanted to ask him how he felt towards her after the compliments from last night, though knew it would scare him off and were most likely nothing coming from him so intoxicated. “You were really drunk last night, then you were late this morning to your interview. I was worried about you…”

He laughed, rubbing at his temple slightly and tossed an arm up in a shrug at her though it felt impersonal. He didn’t know how to defend his actions, the sound of her concern making him regret his choices even more. He was so caught up on her words of worry towards him, it always coming with such integrity that he couldn’t help but believe she actually meant it. It made him letting her down in any way that much harder to swallow. “I’m decent enough. Don’t stress about me, Watts, just overdid it. How’d you know I was running late?”

“I saw Ajay this morning.” she shifted uncomfortably in her flats, looking at him with a pain her eyes that he worried was because of him and something he had forgotten.  

“Que? Did I do something?” he asked, trying to search the fuzzy memories of last night but failing to find anything reasonable. It didn’t help he had no recollection of the night besides fragments of moments that all added up to a messy timeline that made no sense to him, now he was starting to believe Natalie was the reason he felt weary towards everything.

He hated not knowing what was reality and what was his mind creating false narratives.  

“Do you not remember last night?”  

“Bits and pieces… care to fill me in?”  

She looked around the hall they stood in, watching a few groups of people walk back and forth. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, looking to the ground away from him and slid her foot from side to side across the smooth marble surface trying to gather her words. “I did not see you for most of the night, let’s say that. You were with some other… people, some people I don’t know. This being said, I’m not sure who to guide you to. I can only fill you in on what I know and, again, it isn’t much. What can you recall from last night?”

He squinted his eyes, leaning against the wall with one foot up behind him. He couldn’t understand how he wasn’t with her most of the night when all he could remember was her, but distortion to the night was evident he may not know what actually happened. He just had to ask, though he worried that asking the wrong thing would make it harder to salvage.  “I remember you.”

“You remember me what?”

He hesitated to try to grasp at any little memory in his head, faltering as he spoke. “I remember visiting you.”

“You came to see me, yes. That is correct. After I left the party, you came to my suite and I saw you again. You said some things, you left. We barely spoke though aside from when I had first arrived.” she mumbled out the last few words, not wanting to relive the fan swooping in and tearing him away – and him willingly leaving her. She let him, too, which made it all the more worse. He had made amends while he was drunk but it still stung like a paper cut, minimal but existent. Now, she wasn’t even sure if he remembered what was permanently burned into her brain and it stung even worse. She wished she had his hazy film over her own memory, but she could remember him dancing against a petite blonde vividly and it filled her with such an uncomfortable ache to watch. It had sat with her all night, past him visiting her, into the morning, and now looking at him and picturing it again.  

She looked away from him again, not able to keep eye contact as she just saw his goggles staring back. It felt naked to her to be showing her emotions plain as day but he had a buffer between them. She didn’t want to seem exasperated with him, but she couldn’t continue this conversation if it kept going in the direction she thought it was headed. She was dreading him asking her to track down the fan, and wanted to escape that before it started. She wouldn’t be able to return to her interview if he asked her that, she knew it would be impossible to hide her sadness. This just couldn’t be something they spoke about right now, not if she didn’t know what was coming. “Is this dire or can it wait until after the interviews?”

“Oh, come on!” he proclaimed, stepping closer to her and lowering his voice from the passerby’s. He brushed his hand along her arm, trying to get her to look at him but it didn’t work. He didn’t know what to do but he could see her closing off from him and he hated it. He tried to play off the topic, trying to draw her back into talking to him. “You know you don’t care that I took you from that. You don’t really wanna go back, right?”

She pursed her lips, looking back down the hall from where they came for a minute to see if anyone would return for her. She finally looked back at him with an uncertain look, not able to decide what was best right now. She didn’t enjoy the interviews he was right, especially today when she couldn’t think straight and just wished the questions would stop but they wouldn’t. They kept asking her the same things and it was becoming draining to try to act like she cared at all.  

All she could think about was the fact she wished Octavio cared for her the same way as she did for him, but she also couldn’t fathom being able to trust the chance that one day he wouldn’t rip out of her life. He wasn’t one to provide stability, he never stayed in one place that long. So, why would he change for her? It would most likely send him leaving sooner if they tried to be together, if he even thought of her that way. At least, she worried for the absolute worse and the worst was him leaving her life.  

It wasn’t an easy choice for her to decide what to do right now, if anything she felt like running out the front doors and avoiding everything. She knew it was her job to sit through these events, though, and the interviews were a part of it. It was only the start of a very long three weeks and she didn’t think that starting to sway from being punctual now was a good idea, though tempting.  

A heavy sigh came from her lips and Octavio knew he lost her back to the interview. She frowned at him apologetically, taking a few steps away backwards from him before he was able to pull her in with a touch that would make her swoon. She had to think clearly right now and knew her weaknesses with him. “We could talk tonight if it’s that important. Swing by my suite before dinner?”

He nodded along, knowing he had no room to argue with her on the topic. He wasn’t going to push his luck when he didn’t even know what happened entirely last night and she seemed bent up about it. He would just have to go through the day with his worry and hope that seeing her came sooner than later.

“No problemo. I’ll be there.”

“You better.” she teased, a more playful smile briefly coming from her before it faded back to a weaker one. She couldn’t muster her normally peppy demeanor, her weariness tearing her down quickly.

She left the spot they found, hurrying back around the corner and into the room for her interview giving everyone an apology for the delay as she entered.

Octavio stood in the hall, trying to figure out what she could’ve meant by those words and knew it had to be the result of himself last night. Too many pieces were missing from the timeline and he was worried something would fall through the cracks and ruin his chances with Natalie. It was even harder to deal with the fact he knew he caused most of it by his overdrinking and poor choices, which he wouldn’t admit to anyone but himself.

He shuffled off to his own interview, feeling lowly about the entire conversation with Natalie. He had high hopes going in to it and he left it with a heaviness resting on his shoulders he wasn’t anticipating.

He put on a fake happy demeanor, slinking into the room that was already filled with people awaiting his arrival and took a seat on the stage. He readjusted his mask, zoning out slightly as the doors were pulled closed to lock him in this premade hell. He did his best to answer questions as best as he could as they fired them at him, but he didn’t have the same focus he normally did and a few people noticed. Typing on phones and whispers among the crowd. He was hopeful no fans would poke at him on his social, not wanting to deal with them calling him out for acting just slightly different than expected. He was already shoved into clothes he hated, even though he did tweak the dress code for his own comfort and style. He had to deal with the devastated feeling in him with no escape from it right now.

He let the time pass him by without paying close attention to much that was happening in the room, despite being the main focus of the crowd. His mind was on what to say to Natalie later. How to ask her out of the blue to give him a shot on the romantic venture seemed like a fever dream he just concocted. He had spent so long trying to avoid letting her know, trying to find the best possible moment to tell her and plan to win her over then and there. Telling her meant giving her the chance to say no and it was being subconsciously avoided by always finding an excuse to wait. Yet, he was sick and tired of waiting; it wasn’t in his blood to sit around and wait. If he we wanted something he took it, he conquered. In his head, it went like clockwork, but he knew it most likely couldn’t ever get anywhere substantial the way he had originally planned.

He was being too careful about it and lost his courage somewhere along the way, but he had somewhat found it after this morning when he woke to the lack of memory and the fear of losing her.  

He’d never been scared like that before, feeling helpless to something you can’t watch break. He needed to put himself back down firmly on the ground in order to shove himself off the metaphorical cliff that was telling Natalie how he felt about her. He felt ready enough to do that, ready enough to stop caring about his worries and just drive forward.  

After an hour of questions that felt like longer, he finally was released into the main lobby from his interview. He was given a break for a few hours until his next event, which would sadly be more questions that mimicked the first round but with new people who thought it was fresh news. This time was normally to be spent getting a snack or taking a break, the break in the day for them to use wisely. They didn’t get much time to themselves normally during the day.

The second he was freed from the interview he was looking around for Natalie, and wandered the main floor for his entire break trying to track her down. He popped a few stims to hurry his search, getting a few people to notice him walking around as he passed in a breeze and had to stop for some autographs.

He ran into a few fans, Ajay, and Fuse; but, to his dislike, no Natalie.

He knew he would see her later. It was guaranteed that he would, but he still wanted to see her again – now. The reason was only partially because she looked appealing in a sundress that wrapped her up in all the right places to expose her curves, peeking out from behind the cardigan when she walked. It was hard to avoid now that he was taking notice of her, things he never saw before were becoming apparent to him. He also couldn’t wait much longer because he was desperate to move things into something more and soon. He felt like he was losing his mind from all the waiting, a sickness inside of him that nestled in his heart and wouldn’t leave him alone. He kept it all to himself, bottled within him and made a long day longer.  

Ajay brought him up to speed on what had happened, including the conversation he’d forgotten in the bathroom with Loba and Anita. That wasn’t a pleasant conversation by any means hearing her tell the tale, which he was putting up there as one of the worst nights he’d had overdrinking. He didn’t like hearing any of it but had to sit through it, unable to control the outcome.

Now that he was caught up on the events of the night, he was desperate to see Natalie but incapable of tracking her down or having the time to talk.

He gave up his search for her during the off time as his break came to an end, going into his second interview for the day though he didn’t want too and just wishing it passed faster than the first. He reluctantly did as he was expected this time, though he wasn’t as engaged as people hoped today.

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The screaming of fans as Natalie passed by them at the end of the day was enough to hurry her pace back to her suite. Though she loved them dearly for all they gave her she was wearing thin on the noise and commotion.  

All day she had been daydreaming of the camping trip, the clearing and the melodic chatter of birds – Octavio at her side as the two had floated around and played in the water together as the night passed them by. It was the saving grace during the interviews for her, thinking about that day and everything it was. Even if she was split with how she felt towards Octavio, it kept her sane through the day reminiscing. If she hadn’t of been daydreaming of it, she assumed she would’ve snapped and started crying five minutes through the second interview from mental exhaustion alone.  

She wanted to get out of the hotel and away from the ruckus of the high-scale event, but knew it wasn’t possible with curfew for the legends. It was becoming later in the night, the clock going to strike a new hour for dinner soon. To make matters worse, it seemed no matter where she turned she found a group of people awaiting someone eager to talk with. A majority of the legends, like herself, most often than not were too polite to turn away a fan. Most of them did care about the people who supported them in the arena, wanting to give that back during these kinds of events. It leading to constant streams of people wanting a minute of her time, which turned into an hour or three because she couldn’t say no.

It was nice until she remembered that she had meet and greets to attend to this week. So, most of these fans were just fate in passing her in the hall and she was offering more of her time than needed; but as always, did it kindly even when it drained her.

Right now, she didn’t have any spare seconds for anyone knowing that she had to meet Octavio soon. So, she did her best to avoid groups where possible.

She had the entire day to cope with the chances of him wanting her to help him track down the fan from last night, and was feeling lighter on that being what could come from him. She had gotten herself back into a better mindset revolving around their friendship, using her desire to be around him as an excuse to push past everything else. She was hopeful his company alone would be enough. Longing for a friend to be something more had become so painful, but unable to avoid. This was her only solution, one she kept having to shove back into her head as what she should be doing. She couldn’t lose him if they were friends, they couldn’t hurt one another in that way if they werejustfriends.

She was walking tiredly down the hallway of her floor, her arms wrapped around her cardigan that she took off on the walk upstairs. She would’ve taken the elevator but it was swarmed with people and the walk gave her a bit of peace.

She was running low on caring to be social with people and blamed the never-ending interviews she had to sit through today for causing it to be so. The only person she even wanted to see was Octavio, knowing that his presence always brought a sense of happiness or calmness to her.  

A familiar metal tapping from down the hall made her quicken her pace to her suite, finding Octavio already standing outside her door.

He was leaning against the wall, one hand shoved in a pocket of his shorts. He had apparently wasted no time changing out of his formal wear, and Natalie wasn’t surprised.

He had on his normal tanktop and short combo, but added a larger fit jacket that ran long on him over it all. He’d redone his hair, doubled up on his piercings, and found a few rings to wear in his bag he’d thought he lost. He had on his mask, but no goggles.  

She giggled faintly to herself, surprised to see him here so soon and already prepared to leave, and skipping to a stop in front of him.  

“Tavi! You’re here already!” she said, smiling softly at him with a tiny wave.  

He looked up from his phone once he heard her voice, shoving it into his jacket pocket. He took a large breath to prepare himself and let it go after a few seconds. “I talked to Ajay. She told me what happened.”

Natalie’s smile faded a bit, nodding at him as she walked past him to open her door, unlocking it. She wasn’t sure what that meant exactly, and it rocked her confidence knowing what she knew. “Oh. And?”

“I don’t even know who I was with all night, they weren’t important.” he expressed quickly, following behind her into the suite. He closed the door with his foot and lingered there trying to think of how to explain himself correctly and concisely.  

“Is that all?” she asked, not stopping to talk face to face. Instead, Natalie walked into her kitchen, placing her cardigan on the lounge as she passed it. She opened the cabinet to retrieve two glasses, putting them on the counter and grabbed a pitcher for some water. She opened the fridge to her side, grabbing an energy drink out of the door and cracking the can open to pour it over ice for him.  

He held back a smile as he watched her slide the glass towards him. She hadn’t even bothered to ask or wonder about the gesture. She just knew him in a way that he didn’t think other people cared too, she did things to be kind not for benefit. This wasn’t just shield cells in the arena, this was her taking the time to memorize him as a person even though he barricaded most of his past and personality from everyone. He never mentioned his favorite drink, but it sat in the door of her fridge clearly placed there for if he visited her suite. She chose to pay attention to him and learn things when he wouldn’t tell people them, and he couldn’t help but notice the small things adding up with the two of them. His heart swelled as he realized all of this at once and then he began to belittle himself for feeling so weak in the knees from a drink. He was off in his own world realizing how much she cared for him, and because of that trying to know what to say became much more difficult.  

“Gracias.” he took the glass in his hand, tugging his mask down momentarily to take a sip as he eyed her walking around the kitchen getting food together for Nikola.  

“Mira, I’ve been trying to figure out how to say this but I don’t think I’ll ever get the right words-” he trailed off, looking down into his glass and watching the ice move around. He tugged at the corner of his mask, trying to readjust it slightly even though it sat perfectly fine on his face.

Natalie turned her gaze to him as his voice got more serious, setting down the dish of food on the floor and walking over to him on the other side of the bar to give him her full attention.

“Did I do something?” she asked, a bit worried now that it seemed to be a long running topic coming to light with how he phrased it.

“No! No, nothing like that.” he reassured, having to backtrack to another phrase. He paused, taking off his mask and set it on the counter next to his drink. He exhaled a shaky breath, the feeling resembling adrenaline but more so labeled as fear as he tried to find a way to preface his questions. “Can I ask you something?”

She looked at him intently, trying to read his face for any sign of how he was feeling and nodded in reply. “Toujours, what is it?”

He reached his hand up, running his fingers through his hair and down to the back of his neck. He looked at Natalie who was leaning against the counter to look up at him with worry in her eyes and knew he wasn’t going about this in a very suave manner. He was embarrassed with himself that he was acting such a fool around her, unable to spit out flirtatious one-liners because his thoughts vanished the second he looked into her eyes. Would she turn him down? Was this a bad idea?

Was it too late to stop now?

He felt like backing down in that second, so naturally, it only made him jump head first instead. One step backward, five forward.

“If I asked you out to dinner, not like for just… fuck. This is so lame, isn’t it?” he laughed nervously, looking up towards the ceiling to find his bearings to speak. He was terrified now that she was standing right in front of him despite preparing himself for this question all day – really for weeks now he had been thinking about how to ask her this. He just didn’t know what she would say back, and it could be what he didn’t want to hear. He didn’t want her to say no.  “Natalie, I know we’ve been… you know I’ve considered you just an… my amiga… for a while now, yeah? If I asked you out sometime, would that be… okay with you?”

Natalie froze as he spoke to her, taking in each word as they came and tried to process each as quickly as possible while he looked to her for a reply. She had felt like this had been an emotional rollercoaster she was stuck on with him in the forefront, and it had just reached a new height she didn’t see coming where he apparently liked her too. She had her theories, but they were just theory not fact. It wasn’t at all what she anticipated him to say, if anything she was blindsided but slowly adding up past interactions in her head to find that maybe this wasn’t all that out of the blue; the problem might have just been her missing signs that stood so brightly in front of her it blocked out reality. All the comments she passed off as friendly, maybe weren’t only just.

She knew how she felt about him lately, knowing that the questions of whether he would be interested in her could be true were all she thought about; but the fact he was asking her out to dinner felt like a fantasy. She could’ve pinched herself, it felt so unreal considering not even twenty-four hours ago she was questioning whether he even noticed her existence that way and if she would ever get that option. She was spending the entire day trying to remind herself of the exact opposite of his proposal now. Even with the backlogged compliments she seemingly forgot about until now, she couldn’t believe he was standing in her suite asking her to go out on a date. Was that what was happening? Had she dreamt it up? She was quite tired from the day.  

Natalie crinkled her nose, taking a breath but no words came out. She wanted to blurt out yes, wanted to put caution to the wind and take the chance, but it was hard not to avoid the whole reason it worried her to begin with.

The idea of losing him still stayed even though he was asking her to give them a try, that she knew. Just because you want it doesn’t mean you can have it, and it surely never means you’ll be able to keep it forever. In her world, nothing lasted forever. Everything would always drift itself away from you somehow, unable for you to grasp it back into your life no matter how hard you tried. She feared the flow of life, though she tried to ignore it through science based fact. Change was not her strong suit.

She didn’t want Octavio to have the fate of leaving her life forever. She couldn’t bear the thought of losing him, even if it meant hurting herself in the process but she couldn’t hurt him either. It was a twisted mess that rattled both of them, and she stood silent far too long for Octavio to keep quiet any longer.

“I’m begging you to say something.” he said, his voice breaking as he shifted nervously where he stood. He was panicked that she was trying to find a way to turn him down politely, not sure if he was ready for the answer that he dreaded if it did come.

She pursed her lips together, smiling slightly at him though the worry was stricken through her. She tried to focus more on the positive aspect of all of this: the fact he may feel the same towards her.  It was a small part of the whole picture, but it fulfilled one part of her that wished for more. “Are you… asking me out on a date, Octavio? ”

“Do you want me to be?” he replied, quietly. He looked into her eyes, trying to find the answer to the question that was eating him from the inside out but could only see hesitation coming from her. He didn’t know why she was holding back, but only assumed it was because of his actions from last night.

“Are you sure this would be a good idea for the two of us?” she asked him instead of answering his question. She just couldn’t stop worrying about losing him and it crept in to warn her of the downfalls, one problem causes another. Her stress outweighed the drive to step forward into trying.

He sighed heavily, reaching in to take her hand into his.

She looked down as they intertwined their fingers together with a buzz of a feeling in her heart, him pulling her closer and resting their hands in-between the two of them.

“If we get to the end of press week and you don’t think it’s a good idea, we can just… pretend we never tried.” he offered, trying to give her some sort of reassurance that it would be okay for the two, no matter what, but her face read that it didn’t change her thoughts. She still seemed just as closed off as she did before. “Come on, pleasegive me a chance.”

“You know that’s not it.” she whined, refusing to look at anything but their hands. “What if you can’t look at me one day because of something that happens and we never speak again? I really do cherish you in my life and I don’t want to risk-”

“Youcherish me?” he teased, tilting her head up by her chin gently and grinning at her.  

“Oh, stop it. I mean that your friendship is important and risking that seems to be fruitless in nature.” Natalie blushed a deep red, shoving his hand away and looking down away from him. She tore away from the embrace, creating a few steps of space between them and looked out towards the balcony instead. “How will we know it’ll work out after press week? What if it fails down the line and we grow to resent one another? I’m not certain that one day something won’t just change with us. People grow, become new beings, want new things. That is a process of life, sadly, le changement est inévitable.”

“I don’t really know how people stay in long-term happy relationships, it’s not my forte to understand. I just know that I really like being with you and I think that can be enough to try.” he said, closing the space she created between them and placing his hand on her shoulder to turn her to face him.  

She turned on her heel, looking up at him. He seemed sincere and she didn’t normally see this sort of tone coming from him.  

“I don’t know…”

He brushed her hair behind her ear, swallowing his worry that she wouldn’t even give them a chance. He was putting his entire heart on the chopping block for her, giving her the ability to smash it into pieces. It was something he never entrusted anyone to hold, out of fear they would drop it.  

He never got attached to people he had dated before; they were always distractions in-between the mundane. He never gave them that part of himself, it stayed closed off. Natalie was so far on a different scale he never even went before. He never thought he would ever even allow someone this close to him to be able to even hurt him at all. He was actually asking for love for one of the first times in his life but his vulnerability was showing for the first time as well by doing so. He felt raw and he hated it, but also sent him on a spiral that made it impossible to think or breathe. How he could hate feeling so open but also want to split himself apart more because the rush of her knowing him was a drug within itself, he had no idea.  

He just couldn’t keep walking away from her, he didn’t care if the world moved around him even though he wanted time to stand still. He didn’t care if he had no idea what could happen. He didn’t care there was no certain chance things would be okay. He would do whatever he could control to keep her around, to make it work. He couldn’t get her out of his head, there was no other option.  

He couldn’t let her walk away before it started.

He paused to catch his breath, adrenaline racing as he sputtered out his statement. “I wanna try for you, which I’ve never been… willing to do for anyone before. I mean, fuck, I’ve been trying to find a way to ask you for- just, mira, I’ve been thinking about you a lot. I know I’ll never be able to dislike you, so can we start there? Just give me these three weeks to take you on a few dates. We can test out… us. I feel like you wanna do this too, stop me if I’m wrong and I’ll go. I just know you wanna say yes. Please say yes.”            

“Where would we go first?” she asked quietly after a beat. She knew nothing had changed in her worries, but she couldn’t say no when he was so adamant about it. His drive wore on him adorably to her and it wasn’t possible to turn it down. She had seen him determined with stunts plenty of times, the ambition the same as he would refuse to back down.  

She couldn’t argue with him when she hadn’t even given it a shot. Her fear rested in trying at all, but she wouldn’t be able to know if it would work if they didn’t give it a try. She was torn in between the two in her mind, moving forward with the outing anyway knowing she would at least be with him was the more appealing option. That was all she ever wanted if she was truly honest with herself – to just be around him.  

He grinned at her widely, not wasting any time now that it was becoming a reality in front of his eyes. “Care to have our first date be right now?”

She shook her head at him with a smile, looking down and with a blushed face. She shouldn’t have been so surprised he was so quick to suggest it to be so soon. “Now?”

He squeezed her hands tenderly, separating from where they stood together to get his glass of the counter. He took a few gulps of his drink which was now watered down and gaining condensation from sitting untouched, but pushed passed the lack of flavor to down the rest.

He grabbed his mask from the table, pulling them on to go back out into public. He turned to her once it was on, jittering from foot to foot. “Everyone is going to be at dinner, it’s the best time to sneak out. No one will notice us if we slip out the back and we’ll be back before morning. I’ll tell Ajay to come check on Nikola. Let me take you somewhere besides this boring stuffy place.”

“We’re leaving the hotel? Is that allowed? I am quite positive we have a curfew.” she cautioned him.

“Bummer, you really think I’d bother to ask for permission? Nothing about this idea screams legal or allowed.” he chuckled, pulling the hood to his jacket up over his head and revealed a graffiti version of his name on the back. He gave her a playful look but offered his hand to take, changing his tone to be a bit more serious. “Is that cool?”

She laughed quietly, stifling it under a breath. She truly had no clue what he would have planned for them considering she just agreed, but she felt confident enough in him to know it would be worth it despite the downsides of her fears. Though she could only hear Ajay and Renee in her head telling her that Octavio wasn’t one to put all of your cards down for, seemingly unreliable at times, but she was willing to be the one person to doubt that.  

In her opinion, he had proven himself to be reliable and honest. Even if he did fumble at times trying to do what he wanted with resistance from others. He was still kind to her. He was always kind to her. It showed in him asking her permission for something he would have ran into full speed otherwise.

“I trust you.” she said, a soft smile on her face as she tried to relax more into the idea of the two of them. She so badly wanted to sink into the idea of them without a care in the world, but it wasn’t possible. She had worries lingering like dark shadows but was trying to put those aside for the sake of desire. She did want him, she wanted it to work but the opportunity for failure refused to let her stay optimistic long. “Just give me a second.”

She quickly switched her flats to her sneakers before they left. She didn’t have enough time to change out of her dress from the day, but it wasn’t uncomfortable by any means. So, she chose to just change the shoes, since it was the only part of the outfit that bothered her.  

He was glad for his mask to hide the smile on his face, the joy overflowing him once he realized she was authentic in her trust. Not many people told him that an also meant it earnestly, and he was planning on keeping that trust with her. This new found bond being more fulfilling than he’d thought it’d be. He didn’t know how, but he assumed that being open with her was a decent start. He moved towards the door, lingering a few paces from it as she changed shoes.

Natalie skipped a few steps to meet up with him at the door, grasping the door knob and pulling it open for the two to leave the suite together then closed it.

The halls weren’t that busy anymore as dinner service had begun for the hotel, and the main lobby would be the most crowded despite the day dwindling to an end.

“Where are we going?” she asked, still following despite being unaware of the destination.  

“You know, hermosa, I grew up here. I thought I could show somewhere I used to go, take a trip there and revisit an old past time of mine.”

Her eyes widened slightly as the knowledge came crashing back to her, tapping her hand to her head from her forgetfulness. “Bien sûr! I cannot believe I almost forgot you’re from here originally. You’re really showing me all of your hiding spots, aren’t you?”

He laughed nervously and nodded along, feeling caught in the romantic gestures he didn’t realize he kept doing. First the camping trip, and now he was planning on taking her to another reminiscent location. Was he overdoing it? He wasn’t sure, he didn’t normally get this close to people on a personal level.  “A few of them, maybe.”

“I’m quite honored. I know how secretive you can be.”

Octavio tried to ignore her statement of his secrecy but it stuck to the back of his mind, slipping away for him to fester on it. He knew it was something he needed to work on if he wanted her to trust him, he was already worried about it. Now, she was reiterating that he was what he already feared; that maybe he wasn’t capable of being completely sincere when it came down to it.  

He guided the two of them down the elevator and through the main lobby towards the front desks. He turned to her, placing a hand on her shoulder and stopped her near the fountain in the center of the room. She gave him a confused look but he immediately tried to reassure her, giving her a gentle squeeze on the shoulder.  

“Just stay here for a second.” he said, already gone before she had time to protest. She sighed, crossing an arm over her side and dipping a finger into the fountain while she waited. An odd start to the night but she was patient in whatever he was planning.

He snuck along slowly, crouched down slightly as he went into the front desk room. He began scanning the wall for the keys to the cars he knew they kept here for dropship pickup. There were about ten cars, and each were custom to make for a comfortable ride to and from the hotel. He had been in them more than a few times as a kid when his father didn’t show up to get him and instead a driver did, or a maid, or a worker – anyone but his father.

As a teen he was no stranger to snagging one of them for a joy ride if he got stuck here some nights, eventually falling into the racing scene in Psamathe because of the amusement and rush he got from a speeding car. While he wasn’t about to bring Natalie to a race, he did know the best roads to push the cars to its limits and wanted to show her a piece of him no one knew about.

He plucked a set of keys off the wall, retreating back and out of the main office without being seen. He’d bring them back later when he was finished using them, besides, he knew no one would be staying here due to the event.  

No one would notice a missing car if it wasn’t needed to be used.    

He rushed back to the center of the room, tapping her on the arm as he passed and gestured for her to follow him. “Come on.”

“Did you just steal-”

“Ah, no.” he stopped her sentence, shaking his head as she caught up to his pace. “Borrow.”

She rolled her eyes, giggling playfully and following behind him down the hallway towards a back exit.  

They were lucky to get by without being caught by anyone, especially any of the photographers. Natalie wasn’t sure if she wanted the world to know anything about them just yet, the fragility of something new that was already on unsteady ground she assumed it would need to be cradled from a harsher lens. That harsher lens was everywhere at this event and in his life with a heapful of a following in his fans, so she hopped they could manage everything without stumbling into problems.

Octavio propped open the door, waiting for her as they stepped outside into the night air.  

She was instantly relieved, the quiet surroundings being a contrast from the loud crowds she was within all day long. She no longer was worried about being caught leaving the hotel this late, not when it was this peaceful outside the walls. She half walked and half skipped through the parking lot alongside him, taking in a deep breath of the air and letting out a happy sigh.  

He clicked the key, unlocking the car and making the lights flash on. He grinned at her, dramatically showcasing the car for her to step up to and opened the door to the passenger seat.

Natalie hesitated, looking around the parking lot once over for any people before submitting to his suggestion. It was only borrowing, after all. It was only partially nerve wracking, her heart racing as she stepped forward to slid into the car. Octavio’s hand guiding her lower back momentarily as she sat. He closed the door on her side, sliding over the hood of the car and hopped into the driver side in a fluid motion.

The interior of the car was sleek and clean, a black matte finish over the entire thing. Natalie had her hands balled up in the center of her lap, looking at him as he turned the car on and pulled out of the spot casually. She relaxed into the seat, rolling her window down to let fresh air through the car and to be able to look up at the sky above.  

He drove slowly out of the parking lot, taking a turn and driving further away from the hotel and gaining speed as the space grew from being noticed leaving.  

He tossed his hoodie back from his head and took his mask off to shove in his pocket, glancing over at her out of the corner of his eye. He caught glimpses of her in the dim lights passing by the top of the car. He briefly smiled when he noticed her leaning back in the seat. His fingers tapped on the steering wheel, clearing his throat.  

“You really think I’m secretive?” he asked, breaking the silence between the two as they drove to bring up the topic from earlier. It had been stuck in his head since she mentioned it, and found it to be a decent start to show her he wanted to get closer to her. If he opened up in ways that he couldn’t with anyone else maybe she would trust him enough to keep seeing him. It was a shot in the dark but it was worth it. He was sure this was a good idea to prove himself to her, even though it was a task he gave to himself. He wish he knew more about what he was doing, there had to be a handbook or something… right?

It was almost aggravating how he was willing to do anything to keep her around, but at the same time he was desperate for her company these days – she was addicting. The push and pull of his feelings, though dreadful, were a high he never felt before her. A new kind of rush, all the same adrenaline he craved. He’d give whatever he needed to keep feeling it. He wanted more. More of her and more of how this felt.                      

She stopped looking out the window, leaning on the middle armrest instead and shrugged slightly at the question. She was certain of his secretive nature; always having questions for him that he merely gave her jokes to cover the lack of an actual answer. She could be honest, straightforward, just tell him how there had been multiple times where he detoured a conversation when it got too personal. She learned to avoid certain topics, knowing they’d be avoided the second you even tried to ask. He was a master at the game of chess he made his private life. You’d never be able to breach the walls he hid some of his memories behind, and Natalie didn’t want to try in fear of causing him harm. She had no idea why he was so closed off and trying to break into someone’s past without thinking of the repercussions is selfish.  

She knew sometimes it’s harder to talk about things that break you up on the inside, letting them out can only make it worse in some cases. It was best not to delve too far into topics he didn’t want to speak about, so she left them alone though curious. She was hopeful he would speak to her about those things if he ever became ready. Til then, she took the small bits of details she could overhear.

“I don’t know many details about you besides what I know from the games, or vague things in passing. Like your bunny, Navi, whom you’ve mentioned, for instance.”

“You paid attention to that crap?”

“Of course, I did.” she replied, almost shocked he was surprised she remembered. “It’s about you, why wouldn’t I listen?”

He held back a smile, gripping the wheel tightly to lessen his nerves. He had become so attached to the rush of his stim, using it in and out of the games for fun and the sensation but he never thought when he first met her that he would feel that same rush just from being around one another. Just talking to her and realizing she wasn’t what he thought made him re-look at the whole relationship they had prior.  

She had more to her than what was on the surface and he couldn’t help but admire the fact she cared enough to get to know him, even when he was doing his best to put up a façade to keep others out. She had found a way to get to know him over the last few years as friends, somehow getting him to open up little by little until he realized what had even happened. It was one of the reasons he was so adamant now about wanting to try with her. She had been the only person able to crack his exterior that no one even thought existed. Everyone but her thought his spontaneous ‘junkie’ nature was the whole of him, or at least it was the only portion of him they acknowledged in the light of day.

She looked back at the labels and the stereotypes people had given him throughout the years, and after he entered the games, and chose to make her own decision. All the while he chose to harbor as much personal information from her as possible while she did so. Now, he regretted being so closed off to her and wondered where they would be now if he realized the comfort they had within each other at the time. How much of her life would he know by now if that was the case? If he had stayed behind just one time, during one match or one afternoon training, to be alone with her instead of taking off to do who knows what… would he had noticed her sooner? Or was it inevitable that he had to be stopped for the first time to even notice a thing? 

Either way, he felt at fault for not having even attempted to become closer with her sooner. She saw through him almost instantly, always being the one to double check and ask if he was okay or needed to talk about something when he was hiding his bad mood. Always opening her door to him whether he deserved it when he needed help, and he never took the offer to come to her. Maybe it was why he kept a partial distance from growing closer to her at first. He wasn’t used to someone caring about him, and he chose to ignore it was even happening.

Why he never thought she cared before, he didn’t know – maybe he couldn’t believe it when they first met and she was bringing him baked goods and birthday cards without a reminder, maybe he still couldn’t.  

He was asking her for a shot but he had to open up to her too, or else he would reap what he sowed and the entire hypothetical of them being together would combust at the seams. He knew this despite the fear that settled in thinking about being vulnerable with someone. He’d opened up to D.O.C plenty of times, but it was not even remotely the same being another person.  

He shook off his thoughts, looking over at her beside him briefly with a new cheeky smile. He didn’t want to ruin his first night out with her with him locked up wishing he’d done something sooner.

She was here now.  

She was leaning on the window of the car, having rolled the glass all the way down now and letting the wind hit herself in the face, sending her hair flying. Always staring up at the stars he considered to be just dust, proving that beauty in life was perspective and opening his eyes to a new way of thinking by doing so. He couldn’t dwell long there, but she got him to notice it to be what it could be besides only wasting away. It was like her electric pulse, glistening back down at him and reminding him to stop time an again to notice how brightly they could shine.  

He tapped his fingers rhythmically on the wheel