i don’t know who else needs to hear this, but it’s okay to take time to recharge your energy, especially if you get overwhelmed or have sensory overload more often than most people. it took me some time to accept that there is no shame in turning down an invitation for a party because i know it’ll be too overwhelming or simply turning off my phone to enjoy some peace and quiet. i used to think there was something broken with me for being sensitive around noises, people and other kinds of stimuli. but i’m gradually learning it’s okay to be wired a bit differently - and, actually a lot of other people also experience this! i know our culture loves to make burnout and stress look cool, but it’s just debilitating to your health in every aspect.
People love to talk about whether or not disabled people can work
but if you can work just fine and your disability is destroying your ability to have a life outside of work (because work takes all your energy and more)
Dead silence. Nobody cares.
File this under, oh you can be active for 4 hours? You can work part-time. Um no, I have to get ready for work (30 min) get to work (15 min) get home from work (15 min) feed myself all day (30 min) maintain myself, my home and my life (15 min, yeah right), which leaves 15 min for work and absolutely nothing else.
This is so accurate, back after I’d relapsed I wanted to try and go in for one class at school so I could still stay in contact with the education system. I let slip during a meeting that I managed to drag myself to that I could manage about 4 hours of activity a week, which the teacher sprang on to mean I was being lazy for just trying to get to 1 hour class. Never matter that it was 30 minutes travel, that I would have to get washed and dressed, that I would probably still need to recover for 3 days from it.
Far too often abled people see the things they do easily as “non activities”, they don’t realise that for many disabled people these things have to be carefully planned and measured, and sometimes they simply can’t be done.
reblog bc the non activities thing seems really important words
I get X number of pain-free steps per day right now, which means that, for large conventions (like SDCC), I need to be in a mobility device. I had someone ask if I used up my steps every day before transferring to the scooter, and look surprised and a little horrified when I said “no, I save them so I can go to the bathroom unassisted.” Like, they had never considered that walking is involved in peeing.
!
Reblogging for the important point that the term “activity” may mean something very different and much broader for a disabled person with a chronic pain or fatigue related condition compared to its meaning for a non disabled person. If you’re tired enough, simply sitting up in a chair rather than lying in bed is an activity that drains energy otherwise usable for other things. A thing I knew from other people with pain and fatigue related conditions, but worth reinforcing for followers who didnt know or had forgotten.
How do any of you earn things?
We don’t, it’s almost like disability puts us at risk of poverty or something.
I’ve been meaning to post this for two days but ADHD happened, and now it’s April 1st meaning half this site will think I’m just playing, but please know I am not just playing and I’m posting today because otherwise I will forget again, in my heart and intentions it is 30 March and I would appreciate you reblogging this.
FOR MY FRIENDS IN THE PNW, THE UK, AND MEDITERRANEAN EUROPE: we’ve heard a lot these last few years about y'all’s stupid-hot heat waves that are. Not supposed to happen. And unfortunately, it seems very likely that will happen again this year.
So as a desert dweller, I am asking you to do the following NOW:
–start looking into buying fans and/or air conditioners.
–if you live in an area where the water isn’t good to drink, start picking up two gallons per week per person who lives in your household. (For those not in the US: whatever the measurement is that you’re expected to drink in a day, double it, per person.) You don’t need to stock for the apocalypse, but you doneed to assume that potable water will sell out quickly and may be in short supply. The goal here is to have a week’s worth of potable water–keep in mind “a week” here means “what you’d normally drink in two weeks”–in case your supply chain breaks down.
–have your windows and doors checked. Shitty windows can wreck your heating bill in winter, too, so it’s a good idea either way.
–pick up heat-reflecting window film. Apply it as weather starts getting warmer, but before it’s ready to kick your ass.
–if most of your wardrobe is geared toward cold weather, start picking up shorts and tee-shirts or tank tops. Try to purchase these items in cotton. Avoid polyester or synthetic fabrics.
–do some extra cooking of things you can easily freeze and quickly reheat. Choose items that can be served cold or pair well with cold things (keep in mind when those temps hit you won’t feel like putting anythinghot in your body). If you enjoy sandwich fillings that can be frozen, start stocking up. Again, this is not apocalypse/prepper-type stocking, so you don’t need to worry about shelf stability or use-by dates; this is “if you do it now, you won’t have to heat up your kitchen then.” Aim to have 10-14 days’ worth of meals.
–start stocking up on whatever kind of electrolyte drink or sports drink you personally enjoy. (I’d say Gatorade, but I have no idea if that’s global.) Aim to have enough to have two of them per day.
–this might be a UK thing, but I specifically heard from an astonishing number of people last year that they did not have ice cube trays. Pick some up now if you don’t have them. (IKEA has some really nice silicone ones.) And don’t whine at me that you don’t want to add extra water to your juice or sports drink–the cool thing is that you can make any liquid into ice, so yes, totally make apple juice ice cubes for your apple juice, or whatever.For that matter, you can stick your tray full of flavored liquid into the freezer, wait about 20 minutes, pop some toothpicks in as handles and have mini-popsicles when it’s hot!
By doing these things now you will be prepared when summer hits, plus you’ll be more likely to be able to get these items and you’ll help to ease the strain on the supply chain down the road.
Summer is coming. I’m sorry it has to be this way. But please protect yourselves. The best way you can do that is by starting now.
Also:
*lightcolour clothing, trust me you’ll feel the difference between a dark blue or a light blue t-shirt. Also, loose clothing, not snug.
*bed sheets can either save you or doom you. Like clothing try to avoid polyester or synthetic fabrics, and try to find linen or cotton ones. (linen is best, but it’s also expensive)
*apparently not everyone has shaded blinds, try to get some if you can (goal is to have gaps where air flow can get in and do its work but not enough gap for sunshine to get in and turn the house in an oven)
* if you’re on medscheck the side effects for heat
* if you’re on medsand don’t need a prescription stock up, you’ll want to go have some wiggle room in case the pharmacy only opens at hot-o'clock
*if you don’t have one already get one of those thermal water bottles (type that keeps both hot and cold). In winter price sky-rocket bc they keep heat, in summer the price sky-rocket bc they keep cold. Now’s the time (or in autumn but that’s too late for the heat)
* pick a supermarket and go ask if they can hold a case of water in the freezer for you. Do it beforethe hot season. They might still say no but it’s easier for them to say yes before it’s hot and then keep doing it rather than say yes when everyone is asking.
*sun cream prices go up here in summer, buy it before the heat starts. You’ll need it.
not prep but still useful:
drink 1/3-½ of a water bottle then put it in the freezer sideways, that way it’s 1. freeze more quickly, 2. cool better when you add water afterwards , and 3. not break the plastic bottle bc it’s full/not make a geyser of cold water when you open it.
look up the symptoms for heat fatigue and heat stroke, for humans, dogs and cats.
sun cream goes on all exposed skin (with the exception of lips and eyelids). You have a shaved/bald head/bald spot? Sun cream there too (and a hat). You have sock-less sandals? Sun cream there. Crop top? Sun cream. You’re sun tanning and the bottom of your feet are in the light? Guess what Sun cream there too. It is not a suggestion.
sun cream’s spf(sun protection factor) doesNOTtell you howmuchit protects you, it tells you how LONGit protects you for. A spf 10 will protect you as much as a spf 20 but for half the time. Apply more frequently. In any case re-apply every 2 hours.
You can get sunburned even if you’re already tanned. Use sun cream.
Tangotten on the beach, in the city, in the mountains, or at a lake are different. They look different and they don’t cover each other. “Oh, but I’ve spent all summer on the beach I’m already tanned I don’t need sun cream for lake/mountain/whatever is not a beach” NO. You WILL get sunburned again. Use sun cream.
I do not care what colour your skin is, sun cream protects you from UVB rays which will affect you no matter what. Use sun cream, you don’t want skin cancer.
most sun creams protects you only from UVB rays NOTUVA rays. Unless specified on the bottle assume you’re not protected from UVA rays.
Stay out of the sun between 10 am a 4 pm (10:00-16:00).
Windows will have a sun-effect even if you don’t feel the heat, beware windshields.
Wear sun cream.
It sounds counter-intuitive, but cover up. Wear loose, natural fiber long sleeves and pants/skirts.
Use more sunscreen than you think. It’s not moisturizer, you want to really slather it on
Get a handkerchief or bandana just a strip of fabric, wet it, wrap it around your neck. Presto, brain AC
If you’re like me and heat makes you lose appetite, figure out what meals taste good cold
Apple juice can substitute for gatorade if you can’t take how much salt sports drinks have.
Drink more water.
No really. More than what you’re thinking. Don’t drink all your water at once. You won’t hydrate, you’ll just flush your kidneys. You want a steady intake.
If you’re working outside, at least 16oz per hour, preferably more.
This is a little bit of a ranty-rant and is not an accurate portrayal of my consistent opinions.
But.
MCU is exhausting.
I do not want to keep up with forty different TV series to watch one movie I have a vague interest in. The great thing about MCU pre-Infinity War was that you coulddo that. I didn’t see any of the Ant-Man movies until after Infinity War came out. I haven’t seen any of the Iron Man movies, and I watched Captain America out of order and it was fine. I saw the Avengers first and then Thor 1 and it was confusing but the Avengers was still enjoyable. MCU expects you to keep up with all their side shows and movies as if this is some spider-webbing TV show and it’s not. They’re separate movies. They should, ideally, be their own little world.
And this is not even touching at all the racist whitewashing and other garbage co that happens in MCU.
But as a story in itself, MCU is exhausting and I do not have the willpower to keep up anymore. They’ve retconned my favorite character twice. For no reason. I truly only cared about the OG Avengers and now all of them are dead or replaced by younger castmates. As though Natasha being 37 would have made her ancient?
The plotlines are so simplistic and filled with holes they aren’t fun to fill in anymore. Character arcs aren’t arcs they’re uncontrollable swinging between one version and the next. (Re. Wanda?) There just isn’t any substance to the movies anymore. Just because it has MARVEL plastered to the front doesn’t mean it’s a good series or movie. Often more than not, it makes money off the name and branding rather than…actually having a good story?
MCU worked better as a niched fandom where the movies interacted with each other occasionally but the characters that we really cared about stayed within their own movies and had arcs that made sense and were consistent. Where the main character’s relationship with other characters didn’t have to be killed or completely rewritten so that way they can “join the larger cast.”
MCU has no ability to tell stories anymore, they sell their brand, titles, and actors’ reading lines. I mean lines, not scripts, because refusing to hand the actors a script and let them read it is ridiculous.
They constantly change characters’ backgrounds, appearances, etc to be “more appealing” to a wider audience, but the thing is? (Lightly putting aside all the problems with THAT) It’s not supposed to be. It’s supposed to be niched down to a group of consistent loyal fans rather than everyone who has ever seen a piece of media?
MCU isn’t good at telling stories anymore and they haven’t been for a long time. They’re desperate to stay at the top of the game, but they have no reason to be. They’re terrible. They’re ruining the creator’s ability to create and it drives me absolutely insane. MCU was on the edge of something truly legendary and now it’s spinning the same recipe in a blender and hoping people won’t notice the bland flavor anymore.
MCU isn’t a one-size-fits all, but they’re desperate to be. I am grateful that they are putting a bare minimum effort in to portray more than white boys now, but by the gods, I’m so tired. They had so many chances to do it before now. We deserved a Jewish Romani Wanda and Pietro Maximoff kidnapped by HYDRA and forced into their roles rather than randomly joining up with nazi-terroists because “they wanted to change the world.” As if that makes any sense??
MCU is sort of like Twilight. It’s absurdly popular with tons of issues that no one really looks at until ten years later and goes “wait.”
Personally, for me, I just want to see other movies that have nothing to do with MCU anymore. I want to watch a kid befriend a dolphin again or a night guard’s three days of hell babysitting adults who want to kill him. I just want directors to be able to tell stories. I just want to see stories.
Can we talk about how this fandom loves to bring Elain and Feyre down for doing something they enjoy, something that helps them with their trauma? Did you see any other characters get so hated on for a hobby? Did anyone make fun of Nesta for liking to read and dance? The amount of people that swear Feyre‘s art is actually horrendous is astounding. And Elain is a brain dead gardener according to them. Did you see any of the male characters get hate for their hobbies? You know one of them tortures people for a living, but hey Elain gardening is the epitome of evil so who cares? Yeah fuck you all and your rotten mindsets.
Why rejection leads to the endgame: Rowaelin and Elriel comparison.
This meta is based solely on textual pieces of evidence that can be found through the whole ACTOAR and TOG series written by SJM. My observations come from the text and what was given to us, the audience, by the author of the book. This post is going to be about two very prominent scenes that occur to the main characters and how they are played in the books, setting-wise but also plot-wise. Of course, a small warning: this is strictly pro-Elriel meta, so if it isn’t your cup of tea you are in the wrong place. Also: SPOILERS FOR TOG!
i love how ed and izzy are like ‘he can’t handle a fuckery’ sirs i would argue you met because stede had a fuckery
’#oh that’s a very good point #he’s dang good at a fuckery #just not a SCARY one #he’s great at confusing the heck out of ppl’ @the-moon-loves-the-sea yes yes EXACTLY
@julians-blog-i-guess you’ve changed the way I see him again. I was just rewatching it and I was struck by Stede saying, “As total as my theatrical knowledge may be—“ to the crew. Last time I thought he was being absurd; this time I believe him. Arguably all his survival skills and half of his management skills are theatrical. Most of his life goals, too. And now I really think his entire duel with Izzy was a masterful fuckery. From the moment Izzy challenges him and Stede gives him one steady look, shifts, and says, “Well, I accept,” Izzy should have been suspicious. He’s far too calm about it. But Izzy thinks he’s just stupidly overconfident (which is what he thinks of Stede’s whole career and character), and Stede feeds into that—asks him the rules of a duel, as though Ed hadn’t just been teaching him; tells him to warn a man, as he ducks back from any real danger; stumbles and flails across the deck, staying just out of reach, flinging gunpowder at Izzy and thwacking his ass and riling him, then lets himself be disarmed—right in front of the mast. And then Izzy is so insulted, and so desperate for blood, and so sure he’s won, he doesn’t notice Stede positioning himself to take the blow. Any other time, Izzy Hands would know what would kill a man. And Stede would never beat him at it, and Stede knows it. But he’s had an epiphany—just like when Ed told him lighthouses should be avoided, and when Frenchie told him the servants hear everything; Stede takes the little fact he’s last learned (where to take a blow) and makes the absolute most of it. He fuckeries him.
yes absolutely!!
adding on, i think his biggest strength is his ability to improvise and come up relatively easily with solutions on the go. it seems to be a rather unique talent among pirates - which is absolutely one of the reasons ed was so fascinated by him but that’s a rant for later. i think he tends to notice every small thing he could use to his advantage.
he’s good at spotting things others don’t, and i find he’s very good at knowing how to use them to his advantage. he’s a very out-of-the-box thinker, and can easily come up with untraditional solutions. i think he tends to go into situations with a rough plan, and a mental list of 'here’s stuff i need to be cautious about, he’s what i can use against the other person’
and as you mentioned in the tags, his ability to hold a fuckery not for the sake of scaring his opponents, but to confuse them, is also crucial. he does this a lot (meeting izzy, the entire fuckery episode, duel with izzy) where he’ll confuse them long enough to distract them, and then use whatever hidden advantages he’s found to completely obliterate them
and this contrasts wonderfully with ed’s more rigid style of creating an absolutely magnificent plan, but not really having a backup if things go wrong? his whole thing relies on having his (howeve unique and creative) plan go according to plan, and when it doesn’t, he’s screwed and gives up. he can also spot the small details that other people miss, but he doesn’t know how to use them to his advantage on the go in the same way stede does
(stede is a challenge for ed. he’s fucking bored out of his mind, and here comes this new guy who has a completely different way of going about doing things than virtually anyone he’s fought, and his ability to improvise is a huge strength ed doesn’t really have. they’d make great opponents - ed and his more traditional knowledge versus stedes capacity to come up with crazy ideas on the fly - and i hope we get to see some of that in s2)
both stedes 'art of confusion’ and improvisation are easily mistaken for overconfidence a lot, and very understandably so. he’s going into situations he doesn’t seem at all prepared for, but through a combination of both of these and his sheer fucking luck, he winds up fine most of the time aside from the occasional stab wound
(this is another way he absolutely pisses izzy off, because izzy’s spent years practicing and honing his skills to be Absolutely Perfect, whereas stede is this one overconfident inexperienced arsehole)
That makes so much sense. He is smart and attentive and fearless at improv and he’s spent most of his life bullied or bored out of his mind, and now he’s got the stage and the stakes and he’s thriving. He’s so out of his element but he’s finally using everything he’s got. Being chased around for half your life sets you up pretty well for adapting on the fly, and befuddling people who don’t think much of you.
@dragoonthegreatyes. It’s why even though the first time he was stabbed he was utterly unprepared (Did you mean to do that??), after that he is Ready. He may be a recent ex-hermit but he is an ex-hermit with the power of anxiety.
Also!! That hyperaware trauma response makes him extra attentive to the crew when they’re hurting, or vulnerable—he is careful of their emotional needs because his own are so painful. And it’s part of why he’s magnetic to Ed—he notices what Ed’s feeling before Ed’s admitted it to himself, and he spots the points where he’s vulnerable, and he wants to help. He doesn’t ignore or mock or dismiss Ed’s feelings like Izzy has.
But of course that’s their downfall—he’s so attentive to Ed but he never takes the time to share his own feelings and needs with Ed, or to tell him where he might be vulnerable in turn, or to give him a chance to take care of him or reassure him. He might feel like it’s too much to share, or he might not expect him to care, or he might be too focused on Ed, as a coping mechanism. He’s emotionally generous, but not at all open. So when Stede’s trauma comes between them Ed is blindsided. He had no idea what happened, or what could have triggered him. The most he’s ever heard of what worries Stede was admitted while he was delirious and dreaming.
