hulkbvster:

Lemony and Olaf: -getting into a swordfight in the kitchen-

Larry, trying to get past them to open the freezer: Can I get a waffle? Can I PLEASE get a waffle?

stet-tuebor:

reblog if you are also accommodating, basic, calm, darling, emblematic, frisky, grinning, human, innocent, jumping, kept, limited, meek, nap-loving, official, pretty, quarantined, recent, scheduled, tidy, understandable, victorious, wholesome, xylophone, young AND zippered every morning, every afternoon, every night and all day long

kitsnicketts:

barb-baudelaire:

kitsnicketts:

“We Snickets take care of our own.”

Then why did they all die

admittedly they’re not great at this

eegor-not-aigor:

Lemony: Hey, do you think I could fit fifteen marshmallows into my mouth?

Ellington: You’re a hazard to society.

Moxie: And a coward. Do twenty.

evilsupplyco:

(pouring a root beer while watching orders roll in)

More goblin content, on it, I love y’all.

allthewrongquotations:

Moxie: hey Snicket, wanna play Parcheesi?

Lemony: PLEASE. I prefer HARDCORE games that involve overturning the monarchy.

Moxie: … solitaire again?

Lemony: Solitaire again

patema-introverted:

mom friend gotta feed his KIDS

pocketseb:

the paper delivery bike boy is the real star of unfortunate season 2 but go off i guess

dateagirlwhosweird:

Date a girl who speaks like a film noir detective

professorvonspooky:

I like how the plot of asoue literally centers around a fire department that can’t agree on whether it’s supposed to start fires or put them out.

crypticdatesuggestions:

me and my boyfriend more like 19 eyes and counting

timelord-of-the-moon:

I didn’t realize this was a sad occasion. Alexa, play that’s not how the story goes

icannotsayiampleased:

TIRED: Lemony Snicket is Daniel Handler’s pseudonym

WIRED: Daniel Handler is Lemony Snicket’s representative

HIRED: Daniel Handler is Lemony Snicket’s pseudonym