30 day fictionkind challenge: day one

what is your fictotype? are you a specific character, a nonhuman species, or both?

i’m late to the party, so it’s time to play catch-up!

i think i’m going to primarily focus on john-related things for these prompts, considering i know the ins and outs of this part of my identity pretty well. i do have other fictotypes, but i don’t feel as though i could write much about them just yet.

i am a specific character, (censored to keep it out of the tags) j//ohn e//gbert from h//omestuck. you could reach and POSSIBLY argue that i’m godkin due to god tiering, but i can’t say i enjoy that part of being john all that much. i’d rather not focus on it too heavily.

the human parts of my identity are something i tightly hold onto for reasons related to my reincarnation… but some of my fictotypes are partially nonhuman. my comfort levels with regard to partial nonhumanity fluctuate based on my current shift.

having a partially nonhuman flicktype while identifying as human is definitely an experience. i’ve been feeling dog ears and claws for the past two days… my humanity feels like a big ol’ question mark right now, and i’m not sure if i’m super comfortable with that?

alterfictionality? is that the word? i sure hope so. 

anyways, i want to talk about how my adhd impacts my alterfictional identity and, consequently, my activity in alterfictional circles.

i feel like it’s a bit of a “no, duh” moment to point out that adhd results in me picking up quite a few fictionflickers. hyperfixations lead to a strong connection with a source, and thus, shifts and changes in how i perceive myself follow–and you could argue that a big part of self identity is perception.

it extends beyond just flickers (flicktypes?), though. i’d say it impacts my relationship with my fictionkind identity quite significantly. 

it’s not uncommon for me to fixate on being fictionkind. i hesitate to say this; people who misunderstand hyperfixations might assume this means that my kintype is the result of interest, and not a genuine state of being. hyperfixation is basically just another word for hyperfocus–it indicates an extended period of hyperfocus in regards to a specific topic is what i’d say. it goes beyond just an interest or thing somebody happens to like.

so, for me to hyperfixate on fictionkinity just means for me to hone in almost *exclusively* on this part of my life. this tends to lead to more memories resurfacing, more ideas for posts, and overall more activity on platforms like tumblr. when the hyperfixation fades, everything stays the same… i just turn my attention towards other things.

sometimes, i like to compare facets of my identity like kinity, sexuality, and gender to a name. you have a name, it’s always there in the background, and it just exists. you can draw attention to your name, you can bring it to the forefront of your life if you so choose, but most of the time your name is a part of you that doesn’t necessarily need to be pointed out. that’s how i view my fictomeres, including my fictotype: they simply are, whether i talk/think about them or not.