#and everyone else this is too much effort

Bitty: broke into an industrial kitchen in the middle of the night to bake

Jack: trans friend named himself after a type of rock because he loves geology so goddamn much

Shitty: made an elaborate ventilation system in his dorm just for smoking weed

Lardo: managed to train a pack of theater tech boys to do her bidding for three straight years

Ransom: has studied for every test I’ve ever heard of her taking

Holster: got trashed with me and rapped damn near the entire Hamilton soundtrack while writhing around on the dressing room floor before our Rocky Horror performance

Nursey: got super high and had me listen to him dramatically read poetry and analyze the meanings of every poem and talk about how great the author was for a full hour

Dex: literally almost choked a man to death for kicking him in the balls

Chowder: Native friend got crossfaded and ran around outside yelling at every white person he saw “you don’t belong here, this is my land”

Kent: dressed up like a sexy cat to come with me to the grocery store at midnight

Tater: pulled me into his office to show me something on “the youtubes” but when he pulled up his bookmarked pages it was just thousands of YouTube videos and it took him ten minutes to find the right one

Whiskey: ate one of my shoelaces

Tango: asked our waiter if the chocolate lover’s cake was “made with real lovers”