#angelic bastardry
Finally posting the ficlets I did in Discord for the March Flash Fiction challenge of @kedreeva. Gonna post one a day until they’re all done
‘Honey, I’m home!’ Crowley calls as he walks into their cottage, revelling in his ability to quote human sitcoms now. They all fly over Aziraphale’s head, but that’s half the fun.
The other half is the look of delight on Aziraphale’s face when Crowley calls him a pet name.
However, this time, Aziraphale doesn’t beam back. Instead he meets Crowley in the doorway of the kitchen, glancing over his shoulder at the back door.
‘Angel?’
‘Promise not to get mad,’ Aziraphale says, biting his lip.
Oh no. ‘Angel, what happened? I was only gone a day!’
Aziraphale looks over his shoulder again. ‘Well… I went to water your plants, like you aske-’
Oh those bastards. ‘What did they do?’ Crowley growls, storming out the back door towards the greenhouse. ‘If they’ve bullied you-’
‘No, Crowley!’ Aziraphale cries as Crowley walks into the greenhouse.
Relief floods through Crowley. It takes him a long moment to realise it’s not hisrelief.
The plants stop shaking at the sight of him, settling down into something like relaxation. He stares at them in confusion - they’d been perfectly behaved, shaking plants just twenty-four hours ago. What happened?
Aziraphale walks in behind him. The plants instantly start to tremble, their fear clouding the air.
Crowley turns to look at Aziraphale. ‘What did you do?’
‘Nothing much,’ Aziraphale says, looking at his feet. ‘I read a book to them, while having a cup of tea… and I may have forgotten to bring in the watering can so I ah… used the tea.’
‘You,’ Crowley says with wonder, ‘watered my plants with tea?’
‘Yes.’
‘Tea.’
Aziraphale frowns. ‘Yes, Crowley!’
Crowley starts to grin and pulls Aziraphale out of the greenhouse. ‘You read to them from the body of one of their fellow plants and then watered them with the strained water of another.’
‘Oh.’ Aziraphale stares into the distance. ‘Oh dear.’
Leaning in, Crowley places a kiss to his angel’s kiss. ‘You utter bastard,’ he says in delight. ‘You’ve got them running scared. They’re going to grow beautifully, if I threaten them with another day under your care.’
That gets a glare from Aziraphale. ‘I will not be your… your musclefor terrifying those poor things,’ he says but leans into the kiss.
‘You’ll never have to see them,’ Crowley assures him and kisses his angel again and again, until he is welcomed home and Aziraphale has forgotten his problems.
Not that Crowley will forget.
He has plansnow.
