#anime fanzine
Yuuri’s obsession with his painting escalates. The hours and minutes he spends not actively working on it start to feel like torture, and he often finds his mind inevitably wandering back to it anyway. He studies all of Viktor’s past works by day, knowing that what he wants will ultimately be less like recapturing genius, and more like walking in the shadow of a god. Still, he persists.
At night, Viktor is generous - he lets Yuuri study him and take him and explore his beauty in every way imaginable, until Yuuri wants to weep from from being so blessed. He isn’t worthy. Viktor is so kind.
And that is why this painting must be perfect. He burns through one sundown all the way to sunrise trying to get a shade of red just right. And when it comes time to work on Viktor’s face, every stroke is second-, third-, infinitely-guessed. There is no room for anything less, he tells himself, over and over again. That would be a sin.
Tonight, he struggles. He’s too distracted; the brush strokes, his own footsteps, his heartbeat, the wind whistling through the cracks in the windows, everything is too loud…
“I can tell you a secret,” Viktor says, “but it’s not a truth many are happy to hear.”
“Go ahead.”
“Well, art can be about whatever you want it to be - beauty, truth, life. Happiness and sorrow, or the wordless chaos of one’s own mind. The pursuit of the divine.” He shrugs. “But true art always offers an experience of transcendence… and such transcendence, almost always, requires sacrifice.”
“From the artist?”
“From everyone involved,” comes the answer. “But yes, the artist is where it starts.”
Yuuri thinks of an axis of black, brown, and red; of a swirl of colors that is either lovely vegetation or human viscera, depending on who you ask; of sunflowers, irises, a yellow house, and starry nights. He thinks he understands. Determined, he grabs a palette knife.
@orchids-and-fictional-cities and I teamed up once again - a little preview of something spooky, for our @yoihorrorzinecollab
Come one, come all! Pre-orders have been extended to Dec 10th!: https://tictail.com/yoihorrorzine
Post link
