#ap classes
running around in my bathrobe at 1 am desperately trying to find that one assignment that’s due tomorrow makes me feel like the crazy wife in the attic in the best way possible
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Made with love and suffering
adventures in apush (or weird things that my apush teacher has said or done in class)
not old hollywood related, but you can’t make this stuff up
- “some kid came up to me today and said, ‘hey, someone’s vaping in the bathroom!’. it isn’t my job to stop kids from vaping in the bathroom!”
- crumpled up an office call slip for a kid to leave class early and proceeded to throw away the slip, later he received a call from the office and stated that he didn’t receive a slip. when we told him what he had done he said, “sorry, guys, i must have blacked out while i was teaching”.
- [on nazis possibly using meth to make the wehrmacht more alert and aggressive] “so, meth is probably a good thing if you’re in the military.”
- “friday! vaping in the bathrooooom!”
- “you guys are all probably thinking, ‘what was in his soda at lunch?’.
- stopped his lecture and stared straight at me, motioning for me to tap the guy next to me that fell asleep and wouldn’t stop until i did it
- [to me after blowing my eardrums out because i sit next to the speaker] “let me know if the new speaker gets too loud, i don’t want to hurt your ears.”
- rickrolled the entire class with the new speaker on maximum volume
- “my kind of guy, a real man’s man, drinks scotch, smokes cigars.” ”we all know you don’t drink scotch or smoke cigars.” “you guys know what i do. i vape in the boy’s bathroom!”
- “it’s in my contract, i don’t know exactly what it states, but i signed it.”
- “it’s fall now and it’s finally raining, now when i go home i can put fuzzy socks on, sit by the fire with a cup of hot cocoa, listen to the rain, and get out my vape pen.”
- “you guys know i don’t actually vape, right? it’s clear to you all that it’s just a joke in this class?”
- “i have my arms shaved right now.”
- somehow manages to stare down each student multiple times a class period
- “we should all go for a run downtown really early in the morning and see if we can spot any methheads or mountain lions”
since i’ve been posting about ap tests lately - if you’re a high schooler in the U.S. and you have questions about ap classes, hmu! i’ve taken 19 of them and i would be happy to share any advice/insight about specific classes, courseload, etc.
– archaic ♡
- “Dude. I’m going to get so hammered this weekend.”
- “I have to read crime and punishment by Monday- I’ll just do it all Sunday night"
- “If you could get full ride to any college by killing a man, would you do it?” “In a second.”
- [A guy showing a girl how to put notes into a calculator in order to cheat on the AP calc BC test] “My morals have crashed like the Russian economy after the collapse of the USSR.”
- “What class is this?” “AP FIGHT CLUB”
- “What if we all just didn’t show up for graduation?”
- “It is my unalienable right to not be here right now. I’m entitled to the pursuit of happiness and this isn’t it.”
- “I’ll pay you $15 to do my physics homework.” “Shit, I’ll do it for free if you do my lit homework.”
- [1st hour AP Human Geo: A girl pours a bottle of mountain dew and a can of monster into a thermos, shakes it up, and drinks it in one go.] “I have tests in every hour today and I got 15 minutes of sleep. Desperate times, ya know?”
- “But if you’revaledictorian, and she’ssalutoriain, and the six of us are top 2%, then who’s driving the bus?”
- “so. did anyone do the calc homework?” *chorus of no’s* “you know, i don’t know why I even asked.”
- “maybe if we all pretend we don’t know what we’re doing, he’ll move the calculus test.” “Honey, I don’t even need to pretend.”
