#aperture tag

My computer decided it hates me and reloaded just as I was about to finish this post, almost as if God is telling me to stop making unnecessary crossover AUs. Well nice try Jesus, I’m doing it anyway

Hey so what if hypothetically the Portal bois got thrown into the Boiling Isles? Specifically, what covens would they be in and what would their palismen be, because I don’t actually watch the show, but I’ve seen clips and it interests me.

Wheatley

• Plant Coven (I quickly had to accept that their main colors were not going to match their coven colors and that’s just something I have to deal with)
• Palisman: Bunny :) Specifically, though, the English Spot Rabbit. I put genuine research just to find certain breeds and species of animals, I don’t know why I do this. Anyway, here’s what one looks like

GLaDOS

• Abomination Coven because controlling other entities seems to fit in with her vibe
• Palisman: Crow as a little reference to the co-op ending (?) of Portal 2

Rick

• Illusionist Coven because I love to imagine he uses his powers to mess with people
• Palisman: Rattlesnake

Nathan (Fact Core)

• Oracle Coven, purely based on vibes
• Palisman: Black Widow Spider. I will not be looking for a picture, so hopefully you know what it looks like

Pluto (Space Core)

• Healing Coven because he’s pure
• Palisman: Indian Palm Squirrel, which is small and almost looks more like a chipmunk. Here it is:

Virgil

• Bard Coven
  
• Palisman: Raccoon
• I don’t have a decipherable explanation for either of these things, it’s pure vibes

Nigel

• Potions Coven
• Palisman (probably my favorite choice): Poison Dart Frog, specifically one that looks like this

Raine

• Beast Keeping Coven because nature
• Palisman: Lovebird because they’re colorful and symbolize love

Cave Johnson

• I think he would be older and in the Emperor’s Coven while the rest of them are younger and taking classes, but, if I have the rules of this show right, I think he would have started out in the Construction Coven
• Palisman: ??? I don’t know if size of the animal has importance because most of the palismen I’ve seen are small and so fit on the staff. Depending on the answer, either a lion or cheetah type thing, or a praying mantis. don’t ask why)

Chell

• She’d probably join Luz and Eda in the Bad Girls Coven tbh
• Palisman: Monarch Butterfly. I cannot explain why, but it’s just right. Also I know ya’ll know what these look like but here’s a picture anyway because they’re beautiful

Will update these with names for their palismen if still interested

Oh also this isn’t the same as the sweeney todd one where they take the place of characters, it’s just what if they existed in that universe. Haven’t decided if Chell is a witch or human yet.