Perhaps a bit poorly ordered, but this is just a brain dump of all of my feelings and opinions on the relationship between Silco and Jinx
Silco is not a man to just put up with things. Everything about him is very deliberate, from his outfit, to his choices, to the company he keeps. There’s no way that jinx/powder wasn’t an absolute hellion to raise, with her disposition towards explosives and her cargo container worth of untreated trauma. If Silco didn’t care about her, he wouldn’t have put up with her antics at all.
He wouldn’t keep an ashtray and a coffee mug decorated with her drawings on his desk, where anyone could see them. He wouldn’t have given her a safe space for her to practice making her gadgets, and there’s no way he didn’t help her by buying supplies. She had to be a nightmare to raise from day one, and I don’t believe he would have put up with her if she was just “an investment”. He had to truly love her like a daughter. I’m sure at first it was very rocky, with lots of stumbling and screw ups, but he figured it out.
Just think. The MINUTE that the other barons started acting up, he was there with a show of power to get them back in line. And yet, Jinx has always been allowed to run free and wild, with Silco covering for her every mistake. He also never penalized her for any of her mistakes, he never faulted her for lashing out, even when it jeopardized his own operations. Sevika argues that Jinx is a liability, and Silco, the cutthroat leader of the underground, brushes her off.
Was he a good parent? Not exactly, he pushed his own issues and trauma onto her, because he saw himself in her. Which isn’t great.
And he never got her therapy, but the general society they live in has “what the fuck is therapy” energy, like it maybe isn’t been truly invented yet, or it’s the “oh she’s crazy? Lock her in an asylum” type. Which is extra not great. Or even if it’s available, it could be a Piltover only type deal.
But all that aside, he LOVED her unconditionally. He walked into loving her with his eyes wide open and CHOSE to love his adopted daughter, trauma and all. He wasn’t a good parent; but he was 100% there for her when Vi couldn’t be. (thanks Marcus.) he wasn’t built to be a parent, hell I don’t think he wanted to be one, he was ready to kill Powder in that alley; but the moment she threw herself into his arms, he was lost and he became her new family. He constantly soothed her abandonment issues, and offered her all the praise that her previous family didn’t.
He never forgave Vander for his actions. But on his deathbed (or death chair lol. Sorry)he forgave his daughter in an instant, didn’t place an OUNCE of blame on her already heavy shoulders, just smiled at her and told her not to cry, that he never would have given her up. That she’s perfect. Like he knew how the ghosts of her adopted family haunted her, he tried to make sure he wouldn’t become one of those ghosts in his final moments, with a plea to be strong, to keep being herself. “Don’t cry. You’re perfect”
And Silco is a very goal-oriented man. His main goal was always to have Zaun be its own separate entity from Piltover. And after YEARS of working towards that goal, it’s handed to him on a silver platter. IF he can give up his daughter, the one he chose to love unconditionally. And Silco tries to throw himself under the bus, to keep Jinx safe. But when that gets rejected, he realizes he’ll have to go to war. Because he CANT give up Jinx. He CANT give up his daughter. He’d rather go to war than give her up. Is that not love? He would forsake all of Zaun for his daughter. And I can’t get that out of my head. “Is there anything so undoing as a daughter?”
It was spooky before but now it just feels suffocating, like I’m actually experiencing Selena’s panic and sense of instability. It’s not just about being scared with creepy images and descriptions anymore, I feel actually disturbed even when nothing is really happening… because it still feels like something is happening, something sinister and unclear. Everybody behaves strangely and death is ever-present and I just wanna run far away.
Just… unsafe. I feel very unsafe, the writing and setting are absolutely amazing for this
I agree with you in everything, I think it’s the uncertainty what makes us feel that way, we don’t know what’s next, if we’re going to be able to get out of those worlds or not, it’s a feeling of being trapped in an endless labyrinth. Like when you wake up and it turns out it was a dream and you keep waking up and it keeps being dreams until you finally wake up (fake awakenings, I’ve experienced it and it’s dreadful).
As for Rob, I also agree with you!! At the beginning I was not interested in him at all and I was all about Liam but now I like Rob a lot (I still like Liam too tho), I just think Rob and Selena are soulmates and Rob can understand her like anyone else because he is the same as her (he mentioned it when they were dancing and I also posted it). As for Liam not being obsessed with MC, I think I like him better that way, for some reason I find that Liam more alluring
Exactly!! Everything is terrifying even without actual “scary” elements, because the realization that this ismy hell that I can’t escape, that I’m just stuck in a cycle with no certainty, no one to actually help me in the real sense because everyone else is stuck too, is enough to really set the mood for the whole experience.
The whole plot of Arcanum being basically reality being restarted, over and over again, in its worst forms possible, with the MC being the only one able to remember the past “lives” while still experiencing new ones with the same group of people, again and again, who never remember anything, who always have a different story than the previous one, is so good.
The panic, the sense of helplessness, the instability, the anger, the acceptance, everything Selena feels is so well presented, like I’m absolutely terrified just of how the plot moves on its own: being stuck in a loop with no apparent way out, being forced to coexist with the same people after you’ve already gotten used to one “version” of them, getting attached to these versions just to find out that everything can change immediately, feeling like you’re being tested constantly except there’s no certainty you’re doing the right thing, seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, just to find out it’s another train… it’s amazing and terrifying, it’s not even about it being visually disturbing as much as it’s about just… making me very uncomfortable. Uncomfortable to be here, with these deranged characters that could be trustworthy or not, since there’s no way to actually determine in the new “world”. Uncomfortable to pretty much start again from zero.
It’s great. It’s awful, and great.
On a side note, Rob definitely leveled up on the character scale(?). I wasn’t really impressed with him at first and I think it was mainly because I was focusing too much on Liam so he just ended up blending with the background BUT NOW omg, I’m so in love with his character. First of all, he’s literally the only person that’s completely innocent in all of this AND whose intentions are pure. I enjoyed him and Selena teaming up a little too much, and it’s really made me soft how caring and attentive he is overall, in his own brooding and reserved way. Selena really found in him someone that actually sees her, with all her personal issues and struggles, which he experiences too. I love it. He was also incredibly badass in the finale killing Josephine and Liam
Speaking of, Liam looks way better in elf form kss5oshwiowka (I think longer hair= prettier man, or something). I’m still interested in his romance but idk how I feel about… him not being obsessed with the MC, i guess we’ll see.
Oh yeah, they’re also literally half-siblings apparently, so that’s that
Mary is very cute too, and the thought that she will try to work to help the MC comforts me. Hopefully it’s not too short lived
I’m intrigued with the new world too, I definitely like how the “balance” has been restored in a way, with Selena basically getting back into a position of power, even if it isn’t really what she would’ve picked for herself. It does feel a little like a bad joke, like her expectations will be crushed or her reign will fail (if she’ll actually get to rule), just for it to be like another lesson or something.
I like how she stays mostly the same. Sure, she can make merciful or kind decisions but overall they don’t change her into a sweet, gentle, loving, selfless protagonist. She’s still snarky and swinging violently between chaos and control, still trying to not lose it completely and rightfully failing every now and then. She’s just amazing
This is such a good book, I’m really impressed with the atmosphere created and I also hate it with a passion
Selena: Josephine is actually the Devil, I have never met a more disgusting, immoral and insufferable being than her in my life, she makes my skin crawl and I hope she feels nothing but pain and suffering, she deserves only-
