#ateez badboy au

Genre: angst, fluff, suggestive, university au.

Pairing: badboy!San x reader (fem)

Word Count:7.3K

Warnings: profanities, alcohol consumption, smoking, mentions of bullying and cheating, drink spiking, and attempted sexual assault.

Except Ateez, all other names are fictional.

“I don’t understand how these stupid people party here when we’ve got exams in two weeks,” your bestfriend, Doyeon, muttered under her breath while scribbling down some notes. You both were at a café in your university, studying for the upcoming exams.

You chuckled, glancing up at her from your notebook. “Your boyfriend is one of those stupid people who are partying right now.”

She rolled her eyes. “Believe me, I want to smack Yunho with this,” she held up her notebook, making you snort. “I’m surprised you don’t get frustrated when San is literally doing the same thing.”

“Well, it’s his life,” you said. “I’m not his parent who can nag at him to study.”

San and you have been dating for a little over eight months now; other than Doyeon and San’s friends, no one else knew about your relationship. Doyeon and Yunho were also dating for a while now. You both didn’t really know why the boys didn’t want other people to know about your relationship, but you both just went with the flow despite witnessing girls throwing themselves at them everyday. Doyeon was really calm about the whole situation, but you actually weren’t even though you never let it show; you were quite worried about San leaving you for other women who were like him. You never understood why he’s dating someone like you: the type who rarely parties, rarely drinks, never smokes, decently studies and gets good grades, never gets involved in fights; the opposite of him, basically.

Doyeon was about to say something, but your conversation was interrupted by someone who suddenly sat beside you in your booth, placing a textbook on the table. “Don’t mind me, ladies,” one of your university’s badboys, Kangmin, said. “There was no place to sit, so here I am.”

Ji Kangmin was handsome, and a typical badboy from what you’ve heard. You didn’t really know much about him personally, but you knew his friend group and your boyfriend’s group were rivals and often got into fights.

“I’m surprised you’re here,” Doyeon stated, raising an eyebrow. “Shouldn’t you be at some party?”

“I don’t party when exams are near,” he said with a small smile. “I know I don’t have a good reputation, but unlike other people here who have the same reputation as me, I actually want to score well and decently graduate.” You were stunned, not expecting to hear that from someone like him. Well, maybe all badboys aren’t the same.

-

“Babe!” San whined sleepily when you pulled his blanket off his body. “God, my head fucking hurts.”

“Serves you right for drinking all night,” you said, running a hand through his messy black hair.

“But the party was epic,” he mumbled, eyes closing at the way you played with his hair.

After a few minutes, San took some painkillers and got up to take a shower. When he finished, he immediately pulled you into a hug. “I missed you,” he said, burying his face in the crook of your neck.

You chuckled. “You saw me yesterday morning.”

“But that was in class,” he murmured, placing soft kisses on your neck, making your heart race. “I didn’t get to talk to you.”

“Then maybe you should start talking to me in class,” you said and immediately regretted it when you felt San tense up.

San moved a step back to look at you. “Babe, you know I can’t do that,” he stated. “I don’t want people to know about us or start—”

“Yeah, I know,” you cut him off with a small smile, hiding your disappointment. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

“It’s fine,” he said, kissing your forehead. “Let’s go have breakfast, yeah?”

“Um, actually, I have to go back to my dorm,” you said, making San frown and ask why. “I’ve got a study session with Doyeon,” you lied; you just didn’t feel like being here at the moment.

San sighed, cupping your cheeks. “Babe, you study so much. These exams don’t matter much.”

Your eyebrows furrowed. “San, these are end of the first semester exams. They’re extremely important.”

San didn’t say anything; he only leaned down to capture your lips with his own. “Stay for a little while, please,” he murmured against your lips. Before you could protest, he kissed you again, this time more passionately. He gently pushed you onto his bed, hovering above you before reconnecting your lips. Your hands wrapped around his neck, playing with the hair at his nape. One of San’s hands slipped under your blouse, moving to cup your breast, giving it a squeeze. You gasped due to his actions and he took the opportunity to slide his tongue into your mouth, deepening the kiss. Your phone began ringing but both of you ignored it. You were getting wetter by the second and you could feel San’s growing bulge pressing against you. When your phone rang for the fourth time, San pulled away with an annoyed sigh. You chuckled, getting up from his bed to get your phone from your bag.

“Hello?” you answered.

“Where are you?! Class is gonna start in ten minutes!” Doyeon exclaimed.

“What? What class? All our classes were canceled for today.”

“Mr. Byun said he’s gonna take class today. Didn’t you check your email?”

“Fuck. I’ll be there in five.” You hung up and quickly checked your reflection in San’s mirror, reapplying your lip balm and tying your hair into a ponytail. San’s eyes were on you the entire time.

“Are you ditching your lovely boyfriend for a class?” San asked with a pout. “Especially when you made him get all hard?”

“Yes,” you replied with a small giggle. “I’ll make it up to you when I’m done, I promise.” you placed a quick kiss on his lips before rushing to your dorm to collect your stuff.

-

“Can I sit here?” you heard someone ask, making you look up from your notebook. Ji Kangmin was giving you a small smirk. “Seats are full.”

“Go ahead,” you said, returning your attention back onto your books. Fortunately, Kangmin studied quietly, not disturbing you even once.

“Why is this so hard?” you muttered under your breath, eyebrows furrowing in irritation due to the differentiation problem you’ve been breaking your head for.

“Need help?” Kangmin asked.

“Are you good at calculus?”

He snorted, showing you the cover of his textbook. “I’m a math major, darling.” Your eyes widened, not expecting that at all. “I thought you knew but you clearly don’t,” he said with a chuckle. “But I know you’re a computer science major.” He reached for your notebook, scanning through what you’ve written. “Ah, so this is where you went wrong,” he murmured before explaining everything to you.

After a good three hours of studying, you got up and stretched your arms. Kangmin helped you with a few sums and told you many tricks and tips to save time and make the problems easier to solve. He walked with you to your dorm building since his was right opposite yours. You caught a few people staring at the two of you, but you brushed it off; Kangmin was popular, so obviously they would stare. You had to admit, it felt quite weird to see people staring at you. You were sure they all would react the same way if you were with San.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Kangmin grinned, running his hand through his brown hair. You nodded with a smile before entering your dorm building.

-

You spent the entire week studying with Kangmin and sometimes Doyeon joined the two of you. You were really anxious about the exams, but Kangmin managed to make you calm down a little; you were really grateful for his company.

“So Jihoon asked me out and I said yes!” Hyewon said, making you and Doyeon squeal.

“Girl! I told you this day would come!” Doyeon exclaimed, making Hyewon blush. You and Doyeon teased her for blushing, laughing at how her cheeks got even pinker.

San secretly glanced at you from across the classroom, smiling at the sight of you laughing; he thought you were absolutely beautiful.

“What’s he doing here?” Jongho muttered, making San and Mingi follow his line of sight.

“Probably here to find someone to fuck,” Mingi said in an unbothered tone.

San focused his attention back on you until that very person tapped your shoulder. “Why the fuck is he talking to my girl?!”

You turned to look at the person who tapped your shoulder. “Oh, hey, Kangmin! What are you doing here?” you asked.

He pulled a notebook from his bag, handing it over to you. “I accidentally took your notebook yesterday, so I came to return it,” he said. “Sorry about that.”

“Oh no, it’s okay, don’t worry about it,” you smiled. He was about to say something, but your professor arrived, so he had to leave and go to his own class.

After the lecture ended, you had lunch with Doyeon, Hyewon, and Jihoon at your dorm’s dining hall. You couldn’t help but gush about how great Hyewon and Jihoon’s chemistry was; they were the cutest couple you have ever seen.

Your phone rang and you picked it up as it was San. “Hello?”

“Where are you?” San asked, sounding a little annoyed.

“At my dorm’s dining hall,” you replied. “Why?”

“Come to your room right now,” he said and hung up before you could say anything. You quickly had the last few bites of your food before excusing yourself, telling your friends you had some work to do.

You made your way over to your room, spotting San right outside your door, wearing a blue hoodie with the hood up and a black mask. You unlocked your door with your key-card, feeling a little anxious due the serious look in your boyfriend’s eyes. He closed the door before moving to sit on your bed.

“Sannie, what’s wrong?” you asked, moving to stand in front of him. He stared up at you, staying silent for a while before he took off his mask, tossing it on your desk.

“Why did Ji Kangmin talk to you today?”

“He accidentally took my notebook yesterday so he came to return it,” you answered honestly.

San raised an eyebrow. “Yesterday? Why were you with him yesterday?” he asked in a stern tone.

“We were studying. He was helping me with calculus.”

San scoffed, getting off your bed. “I’m sure that’s not what his true intentions are. Stay away from him.” San’s words annoyed you.

“And how do you know what his true intentions are?” you asked. “We were literally just studying, that’s all.”

“I don’t fucking like him, Y/N. He isn’t a good person and I don’t want him anywhere near you. So please just stay away from him.”

You sighed, glancing at the tiny cat tattoo on San’s finger. “Fine…”

San gently cupped your cheek, making you look at him. He didn’t like how disappointed you looked and he couldn’t help but think about Kangmin stealing you away from him. “Baby… please trust me, he’s just trying to get into your pants.” You wanted to tell him that all those girls who flirt with him wanted the same, but you knew he already knew that and he liked the attention he got.

“Okay…” You moved away from him, picking up your textbook from your desk and placing it on your bed. “Do you wanna study with me?” you asked San.

“Nah, I’m not in the mood to study.”

“You never are,” you snorted, earning a wink from him.

“You study, I’ll just take a nap here beside you,” he said, placing a kiss on your forehead, lying down on your bed.

“Don’t try anything, San,” you warned him, lying down beside him. He chuckled, placing an arm around your waist, pulling you closer to his body.

San fell asleep while you studied. When you took a small break, you couldn’t help but admire your sleeping boyfriend; he looked so angelic… ethereal, even. You placed a light kiss on his cheek before slowly getting off the bed to go to the bathroom.

When you came back, San was awake. “How long did I sleep?” he asked in a raspy voice.

“Almost two hours,” you said, returning to your bed.

“Oh… oh crap! I should get ready. I’ve got a party to go to tonight,” he said, stretching his arms. “Do you wanna come?”

You raised an eyebrow. “You already know my answer to that.”

He chuckled, kissing your head. “Have fun studying, babe.”

—

“Finally!” Doyeon yelled in happiness. “We’re finally done after two weeks of torture!”

“Thank god we have an entire week off,” you said, gently massaging your aching wrist.

“These exams were way harder than I expected,” Hyewon said and you agreed. “You both are coming for Kang Hyunsuk’s party tonight, right?”

“Of course! It’s in a huge mansion, you know? Besides, I need to get drunk and laid in luxury,” Doyeon said, making you and Hyewon laugh.

You quickly got ready at Doyeon’s dorm in the evening before taking a cab to Kang Hyunsuk’s mansion that was fortunately not too far away.

The mansion was decorated with LED lights inside and out. The large hall was converted into a dance floor and he even hired a DJ. You were sure more than half of the students at your college was here, and there were certainly a lot of people from the neighboring colleges as well.

Doyeon grabbed your hand, pulling you to the large kitchen where the drinks and snacks were. You both took two shots of vodka each before you greeted some of your classmates. Doyeon was already really tipsy due to her poor alcohol tolerance. On the other hand, you took another shot and you were still quite sober.

“Wow, Y/N, you look so hot!” Hyewon said, approaching you with Jihoon.

You were wearing a lacy dusty-rose bralette with black ripped jeans and combat boots. The bralette showed off more cleavage than you’d usually show, but you were feeling a little extra today.

You noticed Yunho approaching the kitchen with Seonghwa and Hongjoong, his eyes scanning Doyeon from head to toe. You nudged Doyeon with your elbow, gesturing to Yunho with your eyes. She glanced around, eyes landing on Yunho who gave her a smirk. She smiled at him before moving towards him. She whispered something in his ears, making him drag her away immediately. You weren’t expecting your bestfriend to ditch you this early, but oh well.

“Hey Y/N,” Seonghwa greeted you. “Have you seen San or Jongho?”

“Nope, I came to the kitchen as soon as I got here,” you replied, pouring yourself another shot.

“Ah, all right.” Seonghwa and Hongjoong took a drink before they disappeared into the crowd.

One of your friends dragged you outside to the area beside the swimming pool; she wanted to introduce you to some people from another university. You spotted San, Jongho, Wooyoung, Mingi, and Yeosang on the other of the pool, surrounded by girls as usual. There were a few guys there and they were all playing a game of spin the bottle. There was a girl sitting on your boyfriend’s lap, and that annoyed you a lot. You couldn’t do anything about it since San didn’t want anyone to know about your relationship. When you got to see the girl’s face, your eyes widened; it was your ex-bestfriend, Park Hyejoo. You scoffed in disbelief; San knew who she was and what she did to you in high school, yet he let her sit on his lap. You tried not to pay attention to them by focusing on the conversation your friend was having with the people she had introduced you to. It somewhat worked… until you heard cheers and whistles which caught everyone’s attention.

Hyejoo’s face was buried in San’s neck, no doubt giving him a hickey. He wasn’t even pushing her away. You felt your eyes tear up, but you blinked it away. You couldn’t look away until she pulled away. And then she kissed him, causing you to gasp.

“Why are you so surprised?” your drunk friend asked you. “She fucks around as much as Choi San does. I even heard they’re fuck buddies.”

San pulled away from Hyejoo, but he only smirked at her, making no effort to push her off his lap. Yeosang—who was sitting beside San—noticed you watching, and he immediately elbowed San. “You fucked up big time, bro,” Yeosang murmured in his ear.

“What do you mean?” San asked.

“Y/N’s over there. She saw everything.”

San glanced around until his eyes found your disappointed and sad ones. He wasn’t even expecting you to attend the party. He scanned you from head to toe, eyes darkening due to the way you looked in that outfit.

“You dumb fuck,” Yeosang muttered, low enough for only San to hear. “Are you seriously eye-fucking her right now? Put your damn reputation aside and go talk to her before you fuck shit up more, idiot!”

San excused himself, pushing your ex-bestfriend off his lap, making his way over to you. But of course, he couldn’t be seen with you, so he just gestured with his head for you to follow him. Even though you were so upset, you followed him a few seconds later. He stopped at the garden where there was no one; you could still hear the blasting music from here.

San was dressed in all black and he looked absolutely irresistible. You would’ve asked him to fuck you right here against the wall, but you were damn pissed at the moment.

“Damn, babe,” he said, lips pulling into a smirk. “My girl’s looking so hot.” He reached out to pull you into his arms, but you took a step back. San frowned. “Babe…”

“You knew what Hyejoo did to me,” you said with a bitter chuckle. “And you let her sit on your lap.” You pointed at the hickey on his neck. “You let her do that to you despite the fact that you have a girlfriend, who is in fact, standing right in front of you!” You would never lash out like this if it wasn’t for the alcohol in your system. Hyejoo bullied you a lot in high school to the point where you had to change schools. San knew every little detail of what Hyejoo did, and you remembered how angry he was when you told him about it.

“Babe, calm down, please,” San said softly.

“Calm down? You want me to calm down?! That fucking bitch was sitting on your fucking lap the entire time and she gave you a damn hickey! You didn’t even stop her!”

“It was just a dare and—”

You scoffed. “And what about the kiss?”

“She kissed me. I didn’t kiss back, I swear!”

“And you made no effort to push her off your damn lap even after that, right?”

San sighed; he really didn’t want to fight with you right now. “I think you’re overreacting, Y/N. Like I said, it was only a dare.”

“Yeah, how about I go sit on another man’s lap and suck his neck, hmm? I fucking bet you would love that,” you chuckled bitterly. San clenched his jaw at your words; if that were to ever happen, he wouldn’t hesitate to punch that guy.

“That’s not going to happen,” he placed his hands on your bare waist, pulling you against his body. “Let’s not fight, okay?” he murmured, kissing your head.

You moved away from him, eyeing the hickey on his neck with disgust. “Fuck off, San,” you mumbled. “I need a damn drink.” Before San could could say anything, you made your way to the table of drinks beside the pool. You quickly downed three shots, eyes closing at the way the liquid burned your throat.

“Woah, woah, slow down there. You’ll choke,” you heard someone say from behind you.

“Who gives a fuck?” you muttered.

“Well, I certainly do, darling,” Kangmin said, moving to stand in front of you. “You look really nice, even though you look like you could murder someone right now.”

You glanced at San who returned back to where he was sitting before. Hyejoo started clinging to him, and he made no effort to do anything about it again. You rolled your eyes, not even surprised that your words went into San’s ears and left just as fast. “Believe me, I want to,” you said, feeling the alcohol starting to hit you harder.

“I don’t know who pissed you off, but loosen up, yeah?” Kangmin said, pouring himself a drink. You noticed the tattoos all over his arms, one of them catching your eye. You grabbed his arm, trying to get a better look. “It’s a… squirting dick?” you tried to control yourself from laughing.

“My friend’s a tattoo artist and he tattooed it on me without telling me,” he said with a chuckle.

“I want one too,” you whined. “I want one now.”

“What? A squirting dick?”

You lightly punched his bicep, swaying a little due to the effect of the alcohol in your system. “No, a good tattoo!”

“You’re drunk right now, darling,” he chuckled. “It’s never a good idea to get a tattoo when you’re drunk, trust me.”

You pouted. “But I want a tattoo.”

He placed his cup on the table and moved his hands to cup your cheeks. “I promise I’ll take you to get a tattoo this week, okay? Now, let’s go dance, hmm?” You nodded, letting him drag you inside to the dance floor.

San saw everything and his hands clenched into fists. He was so tempted to punch Kangmin and yell at him to stay away from you, but he couldn’t risk his reputation like that; he didn’t want anyone to know about your relationship no matter what. San went to where you were standing before, taking a tequila shot while he wondered what to do.

“Ji Kangmin and Y/N? Damn!” San overheard someone say.

“I didn’t expect him to make a move on her,” the other person said. “She’s a goody two shoes and he’s far from that.”

“Kangmin likes women like that actually,” the first person said. “And Y/N is very pretty. I’m not very surprised that he went for her.”

“Hmm. They do look great together. He seems to like her a lot, no? I saw him walk her to her dorm last week.” San’s jaw clenched and he quickly made his way inside, searching for you. The dance floor was so crowded, he couldn’t even get a glimpse of you anywhere. He tried calling you, but you didn’t pick up. He tried calling Doyeon, but she didn’t pick up as well.

“Fucking hell,” he muttered under his breath, moving through tons of drunk, sweaty people, trying to find you.

After nearly fifteen minutes, he found you sitting alone on of the sofas, head resting on the armrest. “Y/N!”

“Kangmin…?” you lifted your head. “Oh, it’s you.”

“We’re leaving,” San said, grabbing your hand.

“No, f-fuck you,” you hiccupped. “Go fuck off to Hyejoo.” San ignored your words, taking his phone out to book a cab to his apartment. He helped you stand up and pulled you along with him. You wanted to protest, but your body was aching and you really just wanted to sleep.

You fell asleep on San’s shoulder in the cab. He carried you bridal style and unlocked his door with the passcode, moving to his bedroom. He gently placed you on the bed and removed your boots. You opened your eyes due to the movement, feeling quite sick. “San…” you murmured. “I think I’m gonna throw up.” San quickly lifted you up and took you to the bathroom, holding your hair back while you threw up in his toilet. He gently rubbed your back until you were done.

You brushed your teeth with the toothbrush you kept at San’s place, and you took a quick hot shower, sobering a little. San gave you one of his t-shirts to wear and he dried your hair for you.

As soon as your head landed on the pillow, you fell asleep.

-

When you woke up, your head was pounding terribly. You slowly opened your eyes, immediately recognizing that you were in San’s apartment; you couldn’t remember much of what happened last night. You moved to his bathroom to take a painkiller and finish your morning routine. After you took a shower, you wore one of his black hoodies with one of your shorts that you usually kept at his place.

You felt a pair of muscly arms wrap around you. “You look so good in my clothes,” San murmured, placing a kiss on your head. You turned around in his arms, titling your head back to look at him. You were about to wrap your arms around his neck, but your eyes landed on the hickey on his neck, reminding you of the events that happened last night, making you immediately pull yourself away from his embrace.

San frowned. “Babe—”

“San,” you start. “Is your reputation that important that you can’t even push another girl away when she’s throwing herself at you? Especially when you know just how terrible that girl is?” you asked.

San took your hands in his. “Y/N, I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t have let—”

“But you still did,” you argued. “Why don’t you want to tell people about us, San? Is it because I’m not like you or your friends? Do you think I’m not attractive enough to be next to you?” He didn’t say anything. “I feel like you’re just using me,” you continued, remembering the amount of times you’ve heard people say San only screws around. “Do you even love me?” The last question made San freeze. You had fallen in love with San months ago, but he didn’t know and probably wouldn’t have even noticed.

You waited for him to say something, but he only kept quiet, eyes fixated to the floor. “San, I think we should just,” you gulped, eyes tearing up again. “We should b-break up. I really can’t tolerate this anymore…” Your words felt like knifes were constantly slicing his heart. “Don’t you have anything to say?” you asked, hoping he would fight for you or convince you that continuing this relationship is worth it. You wished he would change.

“How can I when you’ve already made up your mind?” San murmured, avoiding your eyes. “If you think breaking up is what’s best then okay…” he wanted to say much more. He wanted to beg you to not leave him. He wanted to tell you just how much he loved you. But he couldn’t. Even if he tried, he just couldn’t.

“I’ll collect my stuff from here tomorrow,” you mumbled, putting your boots on. San could only nod as he watched you.

Before you could leave, San stopped you. “I… I just wanted to ask you… if you ever,” he took a deep breath. “If you ever loved me.”

You smiled sadly. “It doesn’t matter,” you whispered, but it was loud enough for him to hear you. “Take care, San,” you mumbled before walking out the door, shattering his heart.

-

“You fucked up even more,” Yeosang said, watching San smoke a cigarette.

“That’s very helpful. Makes me feel great,” San stated sarcastically, blowing the smoke to the air.

“No offense, Sannie, but I agree with Yeosang,” Hongjoong said. “You should’ve told her how you felt instead of keeping quiet.”

“I know,” San sighed. “But she already made up her mind.”

“Dude, you’re really dense,” Wooyoung stated. “She asked you if you had something to say. That translates to ‘fight for me.’ I don’t think you’ve noticed, but Y/N is definitely in love with you.”

San’s head shot up. “She wouldn’t have broken up with me if she really loved me, Woo.”

Seonghwa groaned in frustration. “If I was in Y/N’s place, I would dump your stupid ass too.”

“Agreed,” Yeosang said. “I told you before, San, your reputation is going to fuck up everything. You need to let go of your past as well before it’s too late.”

“Ji Kangmin’s got his eyes on her,” Mingi stated. “I heard his friends talking about it.”

“Yeah, I heard that too. Y/N is close to him,” Jongho added.

San rolled his eyes, taking a drag from the cigarette. “He has nothing else to do other than stealing the girls I like.”

“Exactly, and you’re letting him do it again,” Yunho said, taking the cigarette away from San and crushing it with his shoes. “You have to make a decision Sannie. Either you sort things out with Y/N, or you lose the woman you love to that very bastard again.”

—

“So you had the hots for Y/N, huh?” Kangmin asked San while he waited in line to order his drink.

“That’s none of your business,” San said in a cold tone to his ex-bestfriend.

“I saw you talking to her privately that day,” he said, referring to the party you attended almost two weeks ago. San ignored his words. “I don’t know what was going on between the two of you,” Kangmin continued. “But whatever it was, I’m glad it didn’t last long. I want to make her mine.”

San scoffed. “You just want to get into her pants.”

Kangmin snorted. “Obviously. But after spending two weeks with her, without you around, I’m quite interested. Y/N is gorgeous and has a great personality. She’s a rare gem, you know? I bet she’d be just as wonderful in bed and tastes as sweet as she loo—”

San took a step towards Kangmin, grabbing the collar of his shirt. “If you don’t shut the fuck up, I’ll break your damn face!” San warned.

“Ohhh, I’m so scared,” he teased, pushing San away. “Fuck off, Choi San. Someone like Y/N doesn’t deserve a bastard like you. You weren’t and will never be good enough for her.” San chose to ignore him, not wanting to cause a big scene at the café. Kangmin’s words stabbed him in the heart. San always thought he wasn’t good enough for you, but he never expected to hear anyone say it out loud.

Kangmin’s phone started ringing and he couldn’t help the smirk that formed on his face. “Hey, gorgeous,” he answered, loud and clear. “I’m at the café near your building, getting you your favorite drink and some cupcakes. I’ll pick you up from class.”

“That won’t be necessary,” you replied, pushing the door of the café to enter. You instantly spotted Kangmin and made your way towards him, unaware of San who was standing right behind him. “Hi!” you said to Kangmin who hung up once he saw you.

“Hey, beautiful! How was class?” he asked, secretly glancing at San; you still hadn’t noticed San as your back was facing him.

“Ugh, tiring. I hate extra classes. I couldn’t understand any—” your phone started ringing, interrupting your sentence. You answered the call as it was from your bestfriend.

“Where are you?” Doyeon asked.

“At the café near our dorm,” you replied.

“Come over fast, we have to get ready for Hyewon’s party. She wants us to come early cause she needs help.”

“I’ll be there in a bit.”

-

“I didn’t expect any of them to be here,” you said to Doyeon while drinking some whiskey and coke from a red cup, watching your ex-boyfriend converse with his infamous group of friends; they usually went clubbing on Saturday nights. “Aren’t you gonna go over to Yunho?”

“I don’t wanna ditch you,” she answered. You gently pushed her in Yunho’s direction.

“Go, I’ll be fine.”

Before she could reply, Kangmin wrapped his arms around you, startling you a little. Doyeon gave you a wink before making her way towards her boyfriend, leaving you with Kangmin.

“Can we talk?” he whispered in your ear, making sure to move closer to your body once he noticed San watching. You nodded, letting him pull you upstairs. You had gotten quite close to Kangmin these last two weeks; you were really glad to have a friend like him. He distracted you from the pain you felt from not being with San anymore.

Kangmin gently pushed against the wall, trapping you between his arms. You gasped. “What are you doing?”

“I like you, Y/N,” he confessed with a smile. “I wanna date you.” Before you could say anything, he kissed you. You were a little too shocked, so you let him kiss you for a few seconds. When you regained your senses, you pushed him away. He stared at you, confused by your actions.

“Kangmin, I’m sorry, but I don’t feel the same way…”

Kangmin rolled his eyes. “It’s cause of Choi San, isn’t it?”

“No,” you lied. Of course it’s cause of San. You were still in love with him. You didn’t want to date anyone until you got over him. “I only see us as friends, Kangmin,” you stated honestly. “You’re a really good friend and I don’t want to lose you.”

Kangmin sighed. “Okay, let’s just forget about this. Let’s have a drink, hmm?” You nodded, following him downstairs to the kitchen.

You were talking to one of your friends while Kangmin got a drink for you.

“Thanks,” you said, taking the cup from him. You took a sip of your drink. It tasted a little salty, but you didn’t mind. You felt yourself relaxing a little while you nodded your head to the music. By the time you finished your drink, you felt pretty lightheaded. You clinged to Kangmin’s arm. “Hey, could you take me to the couch?” you requested, words slurred. “I don’t feel very good…”

“Of course,” Kangmin lifted you into his arms, bridal style. He carried you upstairs into one of the rooms, shutting the door behind him with his foot. He placed you on the bed. “You don’t know how long I’ve waited for this,” he said, licking his lips while he took your crop-top off. You didn’t know what was happening and your vision was really blurry. Kangmin pushed you onto your back before hovering above you. The sudden movement made your head spin even more, causing you to pass out. “Oh, too bad she couldn’t stay conscious for this…” he murmured to himself. He ran his hands up from your jean-clad legs to the soft skin of your abdomen before reaching behind your body to unclasp your bra. Before he could pull the piece of clothing away from your body, the door swung open.

“You fucking bastard!” San yelled, pushing Kangmin off of you. Jongho and Hongjoong were right behind San.

“What the fuck, dude?!” Kangmin yelled. “Get out! Can’t you see we’re busy?!” His words pissed Jongho off. He immediately grabbed Kangmin by the collar and punched him twice in the nose. Kangmin fell to the floor, holding his broken, bloody nose in pain. Jongho wanted to punch him one more time, but Hongjoong held him back. “Don’t. You’ll end up killing him.”

San started crying when he saw your passed out form; he couldn’t even think about what would’ve happened if his friends didn’t overhear Kangmin’s friends talking about him spiking your drink. San clasped your bra back and put your crop-top on you before he lifted you into his arms. “I’m taking her to my apartment,” he said to his friends.

“I’ll drive you,” Hongjoong offered.

-

When you woke up, you immediately recognized your surroundings. You had absolutely no idea of how you ended up in your ex-boyfriend’s bedroom.

Your head was pounding and you wondered what time it was as it was really sunny outside. Before you could get off San’s bed, he entered the room.

“You’re awake,” he said softly, relief clear in his eyes. “Take a shower and come eat. You must be really hungry.”

“What happened? What’s the time right now?” you questioned, your heart racing at the mere sight of him in a lilac hoodie and black sweatpants.

“I’ll tell you after you eat,” he said with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “It’s three in the afternoon. Doyeon got some clothes for you. There’s a spare toothbrush in the bathroom.”

“Thanks,” you mumbled, getting up to go to the bathroom.

After you took a shower, you made your way to San’s kitchen. You took a seat at the dining table, looking at all the different dishes on the table.

“You made all this?”

San shook his head. “I wasn’t able to cook today. Wooyoung and Seonghwa made it. They left a few minutes ago.” You noticed how tensed and sad he was; you wanted to ask him what was bothering him, but you knew he wouldn’t answer your question until you ate.

You both ate in a comfortable silence. You tried to recall the events from last night, but you weren’t able to. You frowned, wondering if you really drank that much.

“Are you all right, San?” you asked, settling on his couch after you both finished eating.

He took a deep breath and you noticed the slight dark circles beneath his eyes. “Can I hug y-you?” he asked, voice cracking while his eyes teared up.

You immediately scooted closer to him on the couch, wrapping your arms around him. He buried his face in the crook of your neck while he held you tightly. His body shook convulsively while he cried, his tears wetting your neck. You ran a hand through his soft hair, knowing it would help calm him down a little.

San pulled away from you, wiping his tears with the sleeve of his lilac hoodie. “I’m sorry…”

You grabbed his hand, intertwining it with yours. “What happened, Sannie?”

Hearing you call him by his nickname brought another set of fresh tears to his eyes. Your other hand reached up to wipe his tears away.

“I love you, Y/N,” he confessed, more tears rolling down his cheeks. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that before. I’m so sorry for being a jerk to you and prioritizing my reputation. I fucked up and I regret it so much.” You took a deep breath, trying to control your rapid heartbeat while you listened to every word he said. “I felt like dying after what happened last night. I’m so sorry, this is all my fault,” he sobbed.

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “What happened last night?”

“O-Oh you don’t remember…?” You shook your head. San cleared his throat, trying his best to not to break down again. “Wooyoung and Hongjoong overhead Ji Kangmin’s friends say that he spiked your drink after you rejected him.” you froze in shock. “They immediately told us about it, and me, Hongjoong, and Jongho rushed over to you. You weren’t conscious when we found you. Your top was off and he was about to take your bra off as well, but I pushed him away. Then Jongho punched him. I brought you here after that.”

You stared at San in disbelief. “Kangmin s-spiked my drink…?”

San nodded. “He had it all planned. I’m sorry, Y/N… none of this would’ve happened if he didn’t see us together.” You were too shocked to say anything; you couldn’t believe Kangmin would go this low just cause you rejected him. “Ji Kangmin was my bestfriend in high school. After I got a girlfriend, he acted like a bitch to me cause he wanted her. I really loved her, and she cheated on me with him. He spread a lot of false shit about me after I ended our friendship. When I tried to move on with another girl, he took her away from me too. I didn’t want other people to know about us only because he would find out. I didn’t want him anywhere near you because I knew he would try to take you away from me. I didn’t push Hyejoo away that day because he was watching me and would get suspicious of my actions if I pushed her away. I tried my best to do everything that would keep him away from you, but I still failed…”

You burst into tears, wrapping your arms around San; you had no idea he went through all this. “I’m sorry, San. I should’ve listened to you when you told me he wasn’t a good person,” you managed to say through sobs.

“No, Y/N, I’m the one who should say sorry for not telling you all of this before.” He held you, gently rocking you back and forth while he cried with you. “Thank you for rejecting him…”

You pulled away, cupping his cheek. “How could I ever date someone else when I’m love with you, San?”

His heart raced in his chest due to your words. “That’s why you rejected him?”

You nodded. “And I’m glad I did.”

San smiled, leaning his forehead against yours. “Can I…” he hesitated “Can I kiss you?”

“Yes, please.”

San immediately captured your lips with his own, kissing you oh so gently. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. He smiled, causing you to smile as well while you kissed him; you both missed this so much. The kiss was slow and soft, the two of you just wanting to savor this moment. Your hands played with his hair while his hands lazily ran down the expanse of your back. San pulled away, holding you tight against his chest.

“I know I hurt you a lot and I don’t even deserve to speak to you right now… but I want to start over, Y/N,” San said honestly. “I want to treat you the way you deserve… show you off to the world… I want to make things right between us. These two weeks were pure torture without you, and I realized that I can’t… I can’t live without you, Y/N. I really need you, baby.”

You rested your head on his chest and you could hear his fast heartbeat. “I need some time, Sannie.” you noticed him tense up a little and you knew exactly what he was thinking. “And no, this isn’t me indirectly rejecting you or anything. I want to be with you, San. I always have and that isn’t gonna change. I just need a little time, considering everything that happened.” San nodded in understanding. “I promise that I will come back to you.”

“I love you and I’ll wait for you,” San said, placing a kiss on your head.

“Thank you… I love you too, Sannie.” He giggled, loving the way you say those three heart-fluttering words. He cupped your cheek to pull you into another sweet kiss, making your heart race again.

The two of you knew that no matter what, you both would always find your way back to each other.

ATEEZ San- Explore (oneshot)

Genre: Fluff, smut, high school au.

Pairing: badboy!San x reader (fem)

Word Count:2.5k

Warnings: profanities, masturbating for the first time, handjob, clit play, fingering.

You took a bite of your sandwich, listening to your bestfriend talk to you and your friends about her first time with her boyfriend.

“I swear, nothing feels better than that,” your bestfriend stated, taking a sip of her mango juice. “I can do it over and over again.”

Miri laughed. “I told you you’d enjoy it! Now it’s Y/N’s turn!”

You nearly choked on your sandwich. “W-What?!”

“Y/N, I’m pretty sure you imagine Choi San fucking you until you see—”

“Shh!” you put your palm over her mouth. “We’re in public! His crazy fans might hear you!”

A few months ago, you developed a crush on one of your school’s badboys, Choi San, after he suddenly became interested in you after being partnered for an assignment. Initially, you thought he just wanted to get into your pants, but after five months of knowing him, you knew he genuinely cared about you. You couldn’t deny that you liked the boy and of course you’ve thought about dating him, but you didn’t know how he truly felt about you.

“I’ve seen the way you look at San,” your bestfriend said with a smirk. “Not the lovey-dovey look, although I’ve seen that too, but I’m talking about the I-want-you-to-dick-me-down look.” Your cheeks instantly turned a bright pink; were you really that obvious? Well, it’s not your fault San looks irresistible. The man’s a whole Greek God in your eyes.

“You should make a move on him, Y/N,” Yeonhee said.

“Yeah, get some dick,” Miri agreed.

“Guys, you’re supposed to encourage me to study, not to have sex!” you said, finishing the remaining of your sandwich. “Besides, how will I let someone else do things to me when I’ve never done anything to myself?” Sure, you’ve made out before with your ex, but there was very minimal touching over the clothes and some tongue. You never went further than that.

“Then start with yourself, genius. Explore your body and get familiar with it,” your bestfriend stated nonchalantly. “I have the perfect advice for you. Trust me, you’ll love the experience once you start exploring yourself and it’ll be even better when someone else does it for you.”

-

“Hey, mom? Do we have coconut oil?” you asked, entering her bedroom. “My lips are really chapped,” you lied, knowing your mother would definitely fall for it.

“Yeah, it’s in the kitchen in the third cabinet,” she answered. “It’s good that you’re finally using something natural and not those chemical filled products.” Oh, if only she knew. “Coconut oil is very safe and has a lot of benefits.”

“Mhmm, yeah.”

You wished your mother goodnight before you made your way to the kitchen, filling a tiny container with the oil. You couldn’t buy sexual lube at the moment and you didn’t want to wait, so this was your only option.

You went to your room, placing the tiny container on your bedside table while waiting for your parents to fall asleep. Once you were sure they were asleep, you locked your bedroom door.

You took off your clothes and lied down on your back, remembering all the advice your friends gave you.

You coated your fingers with the coconut oil before pressing it to your clit. You gently rubbed your nub in an up-and-down motion, closing your eyes while you thought of San hovering over you, imagining that your fingers were his. Your free hand moved to cup one of your breasts, giving it a gently squeeze. You could feel the heat at your hole, dripping with your essence while you increased the pace, rubbing your clit faster, imagining San slamming his cock in and out of you.

“San!” you moaned loudly, fingers moving faster on your clit; you were glad your parents’ room was downstairs and on the other side of the house. Your back arched and your jaw dropped when you felt your clit become sensitive; it felt so so good. You kept rubbing at your nub until your legs shook and your clit was overstimulated. Was that it? Did you cum? You didn’t even know. You assumed you didn’t based on what your friends described an orgasm as.

You tried to rub yourself again, but your clit was too sensitive to handle it. You slowly sat up, putting your panties back on, feeling a little disappointed that you didn’t orgasm. Oh well, you can always try again next time.

The sound of someone clearing their throat made you jump and you cover yourself with your blanket.

“San?!”

San was inside your room, leaning against your open balcony door, staring at you with a smirk on his face. He was dressed in ripped jeans and a white t-shirt, and yet, he looked absolutely divine.

San has come into your room a bunch of times, but you certainly weren’t expecting him today. He always calls you before coming over, so you wondered why he didn’t do that this time.

“I’m sorry for interrupting your… session,” he said, although he didn’t seem sorry at all. “I would’ve stayed outside, but it’s really cold, and as you can see, I’m not wearing warm clothes.”

You didn’t really know what to say. “Uh, when did you get here?" 

"A minute or two before you moaned my name,” he muttered with a smirk, making you pull the blanket up to cover your flushed face. So he saw pretty much everything?

San chuckled, moving to sit beside you on your bed. “Don’t feel shy or embarrassed, Y/N,” he pulled the blanket down to your neck to reveal your face. “I always think of you whenever I need to get off.” You involuntarily let out a small whimper, feeling your sensitive clit throb at his words.

You sat up straight, letting the blanket fall to your waist, revealing your bare upper body. You noticed San gulp while his eyes took in the sight of your breasts. You wrapped your arms around his neck while you leaned in, gently kissing his jawline. San smiled, his hands moving to your bare waist, making you gasp at the feeling of his cold hands on your heated body.

Unable to control yourself, you crashed your lips onto his, and he responded immediately. You had imagined how it would feel to kiss San several times before, but this was a whole lot better.

Without breaking the kiss, you pushed him onto his back, straddling his lap. San smirked at your actions and you leaned down, reconnecting your lips. You involuntarily grinded onto his growing bulge, causing him to groan in pleasure. You could feel your panties sticking to your wet folds while you moved on him. Without breaking the heated kiss, San sat up, pulling you along with him, so that his back was resting against the headboard of your bed and you were still straddling him. He broke the kiss to trail open mouth kisses along your neck, making you tilt your head to give him more access.

“Can I touch you?” he mumbled against your skin, giving it a little nibble.

“Yes, please…”

San’s hands moved up your body to your breasts. He gently massaged your breasts before taking one of your nipples in his mouth. He flicked it with his tongue, giving it a little swirl before repeating the same action for the other one.

“You don’t know how many times I’ve wanted to do this to you,” he said, lips meeting yours in a quick kiss before he changed positions, hovering above you. “Every time I came to your room, I had to control myself so much from wanting to kiss you… to touch you…” his hand moved down to your thighs, giving it a squeeze before he teased your inner thighs. He slowly moved his hand to cup your clothed heat, making you whimper.

“Fuck, please touch me,” you begged.

San slowly took your panties off, mouth watering at the sight of your glistening core. His fingers moved to your clit, gently stroking your sensitive nub. You grabbed his hand once your clit became too oversensitive again, stopping him from touching you.

“I… it’s very sensitive from what I was… doing before. It was my first time, so I don’t think I can handle more,” you mumbled, cheeks heating up. That’s when San noticed the tiny container of coconut oil on your bedside table.

“Oh, you masturbated for the first time today?” he asked. You nodded, a little embarrassed.

“And you were thinking of me while you did it? Fuck, that’s so hot,” he murmured, leaning down to kiss you. “Since you’re overstimulated, I won’t touch you there. But I can finger you, if and only if that’s okay with you.”

You nodded. “It won’t hurt, right?”

“From what I’ve heard, it most likely won’t. I’ll be as gentle as possible.”

“Okay… then finger me, please.”

San kissed your neck while his fingers explored the area around your entrance, avoiding your sensitive clit; he didn’t want to just shove his fingers up immediately. “Just relax, baby,” he murmured against your skin, and your tense body relaxed a bit. He ran his finger along your wet folds, collecting your juices. He took his time, teasing you around that area, trying to get you wetter.

When you felt wetter, he moved his body to rest in between your legs. He slowly slipped a finger into your hole. “Does it hurt?” he asked. You shook your head and he continued pushing his finger all the way in. You winced at the slight sting you felt when he pulled his finger back a little. “Are you okay? Does it hurt, baby?”

“It stings a little, but it’s tolerable,” you said, your hands moving to his messy black hair.

San slowly started pumping his finger in you, trying to be as gentle as possible; the stingy feeling was starting to fade away and you let him know that. He tapped around your walls, searching for your g-spot. You sucked in a breath when he found your spot, clutching a fistful of his hair. “Found it,” he smirked, continuing to finger you, making sure to hit that very spot.

“S-San…” you moaned, your walls clenching around his finger. He kissed and gently sucked on the skin of your inner thighs while he fingered you. You could feel something building up in your lower stomach, and you assumed you were close to orgasming. “San, I think I'm—”

“Let it go,” he pumped his fingers faster, making your back arch. “Cum for me, baby.” His words and a few more pumps was all it took for your orgasm to wash over you, making you loudly moan his name. He pulled his fingers out, sucking them clean, eyes closing at your taste. “So fucking sweet.”

You pulled San into a kiss, tasting yourself, feeling really happy and relaxed. You felt his hard-on press against your inner thigh, and you instantly pulled away. “Let me help you now.”

San pecked your lips. “It’s fine, Y/N. This is all new to you so I don’t want to make you uncomfortable or something.”

“I’ll be happy knowing that you’re satisfied too,” you said, running a hand through his hair. “But you’ll have to show me how cause I’ve never done this before.”

He chuckled cutely, kissing you softly before he sat against the headboard. “Grab the oil, baby. Pour some onto your palm,” he said, pulling his t-shirt over his head, revealing his toned abs. You did as he said while watching him unzip his jeans, taking it off along with his briefs, causing his hard cock to slap against his lower stomach, the tip leaking with precum. Your eyes roamed all over his naked body; you always thought San looked extremely handsome, but now he looked even better.

“Touch me, Y/N,” he said with a smile, grabbing your attention. “You just have to touch me like this,” he showed you how to do it and gave you a few tips.

“Okay…”

You gently wrapped your oily hand around his length, earning a slight hiss from him. You moved your hand up and down his length just like he showed you, lubricating it with the oil. You twisted your hand slightly, moving closer to his tip. “Fuck,” he muttered when you swiped your finger along his slit; you mentally noted that he liked it. Your hand moved back down and you added a little pressure, slowly jerking him off. “You’re doing so well, baby,” he moaned, staring at you with hooded eyes, lower lip caught in between his teeth. You increased the pace, making him buck his hips up. “Keep going, doll… I’m so close.” You moved your hands faster, earning a loud groan from San while he orgasmed, his cum shooting onto his stomach and some spilling onto your hand. You stroke him for a few more seconds before removing your hand.

San pulled you into a quick kiss. “That was amazing, Y/N. You did so well.”

“T-Thanks…” you blushed. “I’m glad you liked it.”

“I loved it,” he pecked your lips. “Let’s clean up, hmm?” You nodded, and the two of you made your way to your bathroom.

San told you about his day while you both washed up. After you both got dressed, you cuddled on your bed, resting your head on his chest.

“Oh, by the way… I actually came here to tell you something,” San said, intertwining your hand with his.

“Tell me what?” you questioned sleepily; you could hear his heartbeat speed up.

San took a deep breath, feeling quite nervous. “I… I like you, Y/N,” he confessed. “I’ve liked you ever since we worked on that assignment together. My feelings just keep getting stronger, so I just had to let you know today.”

You moved so that you could see his face that was filled with hope and anxiety because he wasn’t sure if you felt the same way even after what you both did minutes ago.

You reached up to cup his cheek, hand moving down to run along his sharp jawline. You brought his face closer to yours, capturing his lips in a soft, slow kiss, instantly making his tense body relax. You pulled away slightly to say, “I like you too, Sannie.”

San smiled wide, his dimples showing. He pulled you into a kiss even though he wasn’t able to stop smiling.

He pulled away to look at you, his hand gently running through your hair. “Would you do me the honor of going on a date with me tomorrow?”

You nodded with a smile, pecking his cheek. “Gladly.”