#because you all mean so much to me
to my followers, my fandom friends, my mutuals, to my community.
i love and cherish you so much.
i might not be able to send you weekly messages checking up on you. i might not know all of your life stories. i might not have you on instagram, skype, facebook, whatever. but you all so important to me.
in the wake of something so terrible and tragic as losing someone who was involved and intimate in a community i once was close to, it hurts me to know that there are so many people who don’t understand their importance to so many of us.
you are so valid and important. my heart aches knowing that so many suffer from demons that you have to battle constantly and the only thing i can do is sit here behind my computer screen and tell you over and over again how much i love you. it destroys me that i can’t wrap you up in a hug, or make you a cup of tea or eat massive amounts of chocolate with you until we feel better.
i am terrified that one day i’ll wake up and find that one of you has been taken from me, from this community, knowing that i wasn’t there. to the people who have worked so hard to invest in me, to love me, to get to know me: i love you all so much. to those of you who leave me comments and share my work: i love you all so much. to those of you who send me sweet anon messages: i love you all so much.
internet community has given me a place to belong, an outlet for me to express my feelings, the words rattling around in my head, to find myself. don’t let anyone ever tell you that internet community doesn’t matter, that these people you meet and interact with and develop relationship don’t matter because it’s through a screen and a router.
i’m sorry if i fail at loving you all sometimes. i’m sorry if i fail at staying positive or doing the right thing all the time. we’re all people behind these urls, behind these twitter handles, behind these screens. and each person holds a special place in my heart.
and i sincerely hope you know that.
