The sides of his thumbs tap absentmindedly at the edge of his steering wheel as he scans the old brick building. By this point in the evening, the lot is pretty much empty— even most of the teachers have gone home.
A few of the other girls had already made their exit, barely paying him any mind as they chattered with each other, leisurely strolling toward the bus stop.
It isn’t all that surprising that Madi is one of the last ones out. She likes to take her sweet time getting ready after practice. Still, today she seemed to be taking even longer than usual.
Finally, a mop of curly chestnut hair comes into view, slipping out the door closest to the gym.
And his heart lifts— the same way it did every time he saw her.
Ever since the day she was born.
His lips curve into an easy grin as he sits up a little straighter in anticipation.
Her backpack lands in the footwell with a heavy thud before she throws herself into her seat, slamming the door so hard the whole truck rattles.
And his smile instantly fades.
Her eyelids are puffy, her cheeks red as if she’s scraped her sleeves across them several times over. For one heartbreaking moment, she reminds him so much of her mother on a fateful day almost 14 years earlier.
But he swallows down the memories before he can get caught up in them.
“Who do I need to beat up?” He tries to joke, forcing his tone to be light.
She just sniffs, turning her shoulders toward the window and folding her arms tightly across her chest.
“Mads—” he tries again, but she stubbornly crunches tighter into herself.
God, he’d forgotten how difficult the teenage years could be.
After a long moment of silence that seems to stretch into an eternity, he turns the key with a sigh and pulls out onto the road, quickly turning the vehicle around toward the opposite direction from home.
Madi doesn’t seem to notice. Or if she does, she doesn’t care.
But that’s okay, because he has a plan. They roll through familiar neighborhoods until he finally pulls the vehicle to a stop at the end of a short line.
Madi is still absently picking at a thread on the seat when his voice cracks the stillness.
“I’d say you’ve got about 45 seconds before we pull up to the window… And unless I’m told otherwise, you get plain vanilla.”
Her brow furrows for half a second before she sits up straighter and takes in the sight of her favorite drive-in diner. Her lips curl up slightly on one side. “Mom’s gonna kill you. I’m pretty sure they’ve never even heard of vegetables.”
He shrugs. “If you don’t tell, I won’t.” That’s a lie. But he knows Clarke won’t actually mind anyway. “So… what’s today’s concoction?”
She scans the milkshake menu in contemplation, mulling it over until the last second. “Rootbeer, cherry, vanilla,” she finally blurts right as he pulls up to the window.
He tries not to grimace, especially considering that it’s a relatively tame combination. At least this time there’s no licorice or bubblegum involved.
Still, he’ll stick to his boring old strawberry.
Once he receives their order, he hands her her drink and they get back on the road.
After a short drive, Clarke’s homey little row house comes into view and he lets out a breath. Madi is still giving him the silent treatment but he’s fairly certain that’s going to change once she’s had something to eat. It had usually worked with Octavia. He just needs to be patient.
Instead of going inside, Madi drops her book bag and plops down on the porch swing and he doesn’t argue, sidling past her to sit down on the opposite edge.
She eats her burger quickly, then maneuvers around - tucking her legs into the cushions as she leans back into his side. The paper bag crinkles as she takes out her fries then pops off the lid to her shake. As usual, he has to suppress a shudder as she dips a salty wedge into the thick sludge then pops it into her mouth.
His nose still crinkling lightly, he asks her in a dry tone, “What’s the verdict?”
Continuing to chew in contemplation, she shrugs a shoulder. “Shoulda skipped the vanilla. It’s a little too sweet. Root beer-cherry is a solid combo though.”
He just shakes his head, one side of his lips curving up in a smirk that’s equal parts disgust and amusement.
“What?” She laughs under her breath at his expression. “I swear if you just tried it one day you’d understand.”
Bellamy takes a noisy pull of his own drink. “Never gonna happen.”
Her grin widens as she sinks back even further until her head is almost in his lap.
His jaw twitches. He knows he should probably say something. To outside eyes it’s way too familiar of a position for a teenage girl to be in with her ‘mom’s best friend’. But she rests her cheek against his thigh, reminding him of a much younger version of herself and the words die on his lips.
“I’m gonna get benched,” she eventually mutters, swirling a new fry through her shake with her eyes downcast.
Bellamy is left blinking for a moment, trying to pull himself back to the present to place the words. When they eventually sink in, he’s left just as confused. “I highly doubt that, Mads. You’re by far the best hitter on the team.”
And he isn’t just saying that. The kid had a knack for finding the weak spot in the opposing team’s defense and nailing it every single time. He has no idea where she’d got talent like that from.
“Won’t matter if Charlotte never sets me up,” she mutters, angrily stabbing at her drink.
His brow furrows. He’d thought that Madi and Charlotte were friends. “I feel like I’m missing some context here.”
Letting out a deep sigh, she sets her food off to the side. “She has a crush on Aiden. She says I’m leading him on, but I’m not. We’re just friends and we like to hang out.”
The defensiveness in her tone makes his chest tight. He’s about to say something when she goes on.
“She’s punishing me - passing to anyone else unless I’m literally the only available option. And if that happens, she purposely makes it totally unsalvageable.”
Frustration on her behalf flares beneath his rib cage. As far as he’s concerned, 13 is way too young for that level of boy drama. But apparently he’s wrong. “Your coaches are going to see that, Madi. They’ll know it’s not your fault.”
“So what? What are they going to do about it? They can’t force her to change the way she’s playing. And we can’t win games without a half decent setter. She’s indispensable, I’m not. The ball is in her court.”
He was about to argue with her, but she isn’t done. Apparently once the floodgates have been opened, the torrent can’t be stopped.
“I get that it’s just junior high and in the grand scheme of things this doesn’t even mean anything. But I’m afraid I’m going to get rusty. And then I’ll suck too much to make varsity next year and then my chances of playing in college will essentially be nil. I wish I could just fix this because it’s all so stupid. But the only thing that’s going to make her change her mind is if I cut Aiden off completely and that’s not fair to him. He hasn’t done anything wrong.”
He raises an eyebrow. “A lot of people wouldn’t have the maturity to see it that way. No matter how much it sucks, you’re being the bigger person and making the unselfish choice. I’m proud of you, Madi.
Her eyes glow for a moment, even as she lets out a sniffle. “I hate this.”
He brushes his fingers through her hair lightly. “You know… the chances of you getting recruited off of a high school team are pretty slim anyway. If volleyball is something that you’re serious about wanting to pursue, I’ll get you—” he cuts himself off, backtracking hastily. “I’ll talk to Clarke about signing you up to play club.”
She turns further onto her back, squarely meeting his gaze. “Do you think I’m good enough?”
Pressing his lips together, he holds in a quiet scoff. “If you set your mind to it Mads, I wouldn’t put anything beyond your realm of capability. But in terms of volleyball… yeah kid— You’ve got what it takes. And a club team away from all the petty drama of high school will help get you there.”
Her cheeks heat as her lips curve upward at the edges. Finally looking away she grabs a few more fries and stuffs them into her mouth.
He relaxes too, taking another sip of his milkshake and watching the sun slowly start to morph the colors of the horizon.
Madi is nearly finished her meal - only a solitary fry left in her grasp - when she speaks again. She scrapes it around the edge of her cup mindlessly and says the words so softly that he isn’t sure that she really means for him to hear. “You know… sometimes I wish you were actually my dad.”
He can’t help it. His muscles instinctively stiffen as some kind of foreign feeling floods his chest and claws all the way up his throat. He’s incapable of responding even if he knew what words to say… which he most certainly does not.
Madi sits up abruptly, panic filling her own eyes as she scrambles away from him. “I’m sorry. I— I shouldn’t have said that. I’m… shit. I— I didn’t mean to—”
He finally manages to take action, one hand cupping her face while the other steadies her shoulder. “Hey.” There are mortified tears in her eyes when she finally looks at him again. “Hey. You—” He still doesn’t know what to say. “Don’t apologize,” he settles on. “It’s okay to feel that way.” He pulls her into a hug, burying his nose into her hair so that his next words are half muffled. “Don’t ever apologize for feeling that way.”
She inhales sharply, wiping her face with her sleeve. Her mouth opens and he can tell another apology is about to come out, but she manages to bite it back.
Sitting back, she lets out a shuddering breath. “It’s just… you always seem to know what to say and you’re always here. I didn’t mean to cross a line.” She scrambles to explain. “You can pretend I never said it.”
A stone drops in his gut. There’s zero chance of that happening. But not for the reasons she thinks. His skin prickling with words that need to go unsaid, he settles for the one reassurance he can offer. “I’m always going to be here Madi, okay? I promise.”
She still looks skittish as a wild animal, afraid of a trap. And there’s nothing more he can say to fix it… At least not yet. He sighs, rubbing a hand over the rough stubble on his chin. “Do you have homework?”
She looks almost relieved at the opportunity to escape the awkward moment. Already scrambling to grab her backpack, she gives him a quick nod.
Bellamy tries to paste on a decent attempt at a reassuring smile. “Probably should get on it then.”
She hesitates half a second longer, expression still tight with concern. Then she disappears into the house.
