#bripost

LIVE

I made it a meme but seriously: this is so important. In real life we don’t seek closeness with every single person we have something in common with. It’s common sense in that case. We recognize it as unnecessary, hard to maintain, and something that would lead to a lot of strife and a poor mental health. So why is it any different in fandom?

You don’t have to be friends with everyone, in fact you shouldn’t be. You don’t have to try to interact with everyone. You don’t have to follow people you don’t jive with. That’s exactly why this fandom in particular (pp fandom) deals with what seems to be magnified amounts of strife. The fandom really started in earnest within the past year and a half or so as such a small, tight-knit group that everyone knew everyone. And it continues to be small enough that you can easily follow most of the major interactors/active members. In other fandoms, it’s (generally) very different. In bigger fandoms it’s easier to find your niche, a sub-group that you mostly align with that generally fills your dashboard and gives you the freedom to, frankly, get away from the people you don’t get on with. It’s big enough that you won’t have to see people you don’t prefer being reblogged on your dashboard if you don’t want to.

Something about the intimacy of this fandom makes a lot of people feel that they need to be all things to all people or that other people need to be all things to them. And it doesn’t have to be that way. Don’t put that pressure on yourself, or others. Seriously.

Follow, I don’t know, <100 blogs? <50? Keep the people you hold dearly down to <20, even less if that’s what you need. Talk regularly with the people you deem “your people.” Keep loose ties with anyone else. I can guarantee you’ll have a happier, more encouraging experience.