#btw the song is our window by noah and the whale

thinking about the lyric “spring can be the cruelest of months” playing as charlie deletes his “i’m sorry” text to nick (the words of this apology being only a bittersweet reminder of their relationship) and as nick awaits a message that never gets sent,

how it ties to charlie’s last name being spring and the way he’s feels like an awful person in this moment, like somebody who ruins people’s lives,

how the lyric is possibly an allusion to t.s. elliot’s the waste land, with the line “april is the cruelest month”,

and in turn, how april is the month that nick and charlie got together,

how april is also the month that charlie was born

and how sometimes he thinks it would be better if he didn’t exist