Caius was lying on his stomach on his brand new bed.

It was the softest mattress they could find, meant to accommodate Caius’ injury except he could still not lie on his back, and so, the feathers that bended under his weight caused his spine to curve awkwardly and his waist to ache. He had been trying to sit up for hours now but he hadn’t yet found the strength. Just imagining the way he would have to stretch, readjust his weight, turn and swing his legs to the side had him paralyzed, at the edge of a panic attack. The sun moved lazily, the god in his carriage seemed to linger just when the warm rays could slip through Caius’ window, and the vampire swore he could feel the warmth seep into his bare bones and he desperately wanted to move away, to hide. But he remained where he was, a statue in perfect despair. Nothing existed outside the walls of his room, outside his immediate line of vision and that barely was registered as anything.

His mind circled again and again through the same thoughts. Seeing his soldiers fall, getting surrounded by wolves, falling himself and then just never ending pain. His wife crying over his wrecked body and him wanting to reassure her that he was alright, but only managing to speak in agonized screams. And then the day he returned to the palace, carried by Athenadora and Ji Hao seeing so many unfamiliar faces among the new recruits, seeing Marcus and Aro again and feeling relief for the first time in years, before being rushed to his room and not coming out since.

He had stayed with Ji Hao and Sulpicia for too long, in his opinion. Marcus was always away from the palace, he only came to see him for minutes at a time, informing him of what he found and what he didn’t find before leaving for someplace new. He was after Didyme’s murderers but he refused to take Aro with him. Sulpicia had stayed back, building up the necessary allyship with her brother, so that the two covens could face the werewolves together. Athenadora was with him the entire time she was in the palace, but sometimes Marcus wanted her with him. It didn’t matter very much, whether his wife was in his room or not, because Caius barely saw anything other than his own thoughts. Except there was something wrong and he couldn’t quite gather his wits to figure it out.

It was about Aro he was sure. Aro didn’t come to his room as often as Caius expected. He wanted Aro’s company. He wanted the other man to come to him, reassure him, talk to him about some insignificant nonsense. Tinted glass art and symbolism for example, but Aro wasn’t there, and Caius didn’t have the voice to call him. But something wasn’t right and his mind circled back to the battlefield and his dead soldiers.

Aro was in his room, a young man straddling his hips and lazily pushing his tongue down Aro’s throat, in and out and in and out. The sun was setting and he was getting impatient. “Can I drink from you, sir?”
Aro chuckled and tilted his head to the side. “When will you stop calling me that?”
The man grinned, let his fangs down and hungrily pushed them in the softest spot on Aro’s neck. He sucked and Aro held his breath, forcing his tension away. He let the new recruit drink from him until he was satisfied.

Caius was alone, just him and the moon and his thoughts. There was a knock at his door and it startled him. He couldn’t answer, but the person behind it didn’t wait. Aro entered and Caius felt more worried than relieved. Something was wrong, he just couldn’t tell what it was. Aro sat on the chair next to his bed, kept his hands to himself and Caius almost screamed for him to touch him and see.
Can you help me sit up? he wanted to ask. His soldiers falling one after the other, not one of them granted a fast death. Caius stared at Aro in disbelief and concern, but he couldn’t quite place it. His soldiers, they trusted him and he led them straight to death. Aro was sitting calmly, but Caius thought he saw something unspoken. Touch me, please! he wanted to cry out. The wolves descended on his body, slicing and biting and feasting on his flesh. Aro looked tired and hurt. Caius was ready to speak, to say something, but all he could think about was the way Ji Hao was carving at his muscles trying to help him.
“Do you want me to bring you some blood?” Aro asked and Caius blinked. This was wrong, it had always been the other way around. Aro couldn’t kill his prey, the dying brain was so overwhelming Caius had been doing it for him for centuries now. This was important, he had to focus and figure it out. His soldiers calling his name, crying out for his help, he betrayed them, he killed them.
“Caius?” Aro called softly and Caius locked his gaze on him. “I’ll send you someone with Felix, alright?”
Caius watched him get up and move to the door, he wanted to call after him, to ask that he bring the human himself, he wanted to tell him something, if only Aro took a look in his head and understood. Giant jaws locking around his ribs and ripping away. He didn’t manage to speak and Aro closed the door behind him softly.

Caius stared at the door, hoping Aro would understand, wishing he would come back. A huge figure wearing a helmet and carrying a spear, slicing through the wolves and then his wife picking him up. Felix entered the room, carrying an unconscious mortal. His tall frame not nearly huge enough to fit Caius’ memories.
“I knocked, sir,” he said and laid the mortal on the chair. He helped Caius sit up, sliding one arm under his chest and lifting. Finally the pressure against Caius’ waist was relieved and he sighed. Felix stood for a moment, holding the unconscious victim in his arms, waiting for Caius to act, bare his fangs and bite. But Caius only stared into nothing. A war cry he had never heard before, only supposed to exist in legends “ALALA ALALA ALALA!” Felix sat next to him, bit the human’s wrist and brought it close to Caius’ lips. Finally, the scent knocked him into action and he lunged at the human, starved. He drank and drank until the body was drained and he kept sucking still. Felix gently unlocked his jaw from the pale wrist. Caius pulled away, wanting to tell Felix something, something important. There were too many new faces around, he should watch out. Aro wasn’t well. Why? He didn’t know. Ji Hao ripping away his rotten flesh and him begging to be killed. He pulled away, Felix was gigantic and Caius felt scared. He wanted him out of his room immediately. He wanted to tell him to call Aro.
“You look better, sir,” Felix said as he took the drained body with him. He closed the door behind him, leaving Caius alone again. Caius wanted to tell him to watch out, that something was wrong and there were too many new faces. The wolves ripping away at his soldiers, chewing and swallowing and them screaming for Caius.