#cause ppl be dim
on my list of things to write or convince other ppl to write: bitty trying to be super, super passive-aggressive at kent parson but kent parson is (obviously) a bit of a ding dong and thinks that bits is just being really, really nice.
so kent is nice right back because he’s not an evil douchebag 24/7. but bitty takes it as “he’s being passive-aggressive, too! time for me to up the ante” and so bitty just keeps getting nicer and nicer and so does kent
and maybe kent gets a lil crush on this snarky sweet man and its like kent. kent. its not what you think. kent, “bless ur heart” is not a sweet charming southernism, its a threat of murder. kent. ur gonna get urself killed
but no. kent isnt good at taking hints. kent invites bitty to hang out w him at las vegas, bring zimms maybe. kent thinks its gonna be a cute lil vacation in which at worst, he’d third wheel jack and bitty, and at best, he might Maybe get to kiss both of them. bitty, however, takes this as a polite proposal of a duel to the death (for bitty, this isnt even about jack anymore? its just. a lifestyle. his hatred of kent is like gasoline for his little southern gay engines). jack doesnt think anything because he’s even more of a dense ding dong than kent and also a robot
kent’s eating filet mignon with them in a penthouse that overlooks the strip and he’s looking fondly at the lights and colours and joy outside his window and he looks at jack n bitty and thinks “wow. these are my two best friends” and jacks thinking “wow hockey sure is nice” and bitty’s thinking “wow this is some next level passive-aggression. he almost has me thinkin he’s sincere. now is a great time to physically destroy him”
