SixFanarts 3/6 Sakura Kinomoto!

She’s my favourite magical girl Cardcaptor Sakura had such an important role on my life

CCS Dream 3/14/22

Another CCS dream, and naturally, nothing good happened in this one either. Lmao.

In this dream, I was reading a Nakayoshi magazine and Syaoran was holding an unconscious Sakura with tears falling down his face. She wouldn’t wake up.

It seemed like they were transported to some other place (maybe Alice’s world?), but the only space I saw looked like a pretty normal looking bedroom with two fluffy looking beds and fancy curly looking bed frames (the frames reminded me of the bed Sakura has).

Both Sakura and Akiho were lying on one of the beds, and suddenly by the end of the dream, Syaoran and Kaito were lying on the other, also asleep.

I’m not entirely sure what to make of it. Lol. I think it might have to do with Naoko’s comment a few chapters ago about how it would be scary to not be able to wake up from a dream. But I hadn’t thought about CCS much at all yesterday, so this dream really came out of the blue.

Clear Card Chapter 60 Analysis

Hello! Sorry I’ve been so slow to write these analyses lately! I knew I was going to have a lot to say, so I had to summon the energy to start it knowing it wasn’t going to be a quick write-up. Hahaha.

Alas, here I am! This chapter didn’t have any Syaoran (lord, I miss him) or even Sakura for that matter! But this chapter was incredibly entertaining nonetheless! Also, omg look at that Clow on the cover page! Clow Reed art is so rare! Let’s dig in to chapter 60! More under the cut! 

 So let me start off by talking a little bit about how I always envisioned that initial meeting of Kaito and Akiho’s mother would go. I had mentioned a while ago that I was writing up a fic about their first meeting, but now that fic is kinda pointless considering we’ve now seen it for real in this chapter. Lol. However, I must say that I am actually pretty proud of myself of what I managed to get right. Here’s a little bit of the script that I wrote to help me lay out the bare bones of the dialogue I predicted they would have.

 Akimom: -offers chocolate mint to Kaito- 

Kaito: -takes a bite and shudders instantly- 

Akimom: -laughs hysterically- Your face is so funny! 

Kaito: I don’t know what’s funny about it…

Akimom: You make the same face as him! 

Kaito: Him? 

Akimom: -smiles brightly- The one I love more than anyone else! 

Kaito: Love? -confused- 

Akimom: Yes! -says excitedly- 

Kaito: What’s that? 

Akimom: Mmm…-thinks for a moment of how to explain it to him- love is when you like a person so much that you feel warm inside and your heart races whenever you’re with them or think about them! There’s no greater happiness than being with the one you love! 

Kaito: That sounds like a fever…

Akimom: -giggles- It is similar, but I’m sure you’ll understand when you’re a bit older. There’s no greater happiness than being with the one you love! 

Kaito: I don’t think so. 

Akimom: Huh? Why not?

Kaito: I don’t likeanything

Akimom: Now, that’s not true….

Kaito: Why do you say that? 

Akimom: Because you don’t like chocolate mint. 

Kaito: That doesn’t make sense….

Akimom: The world is full of duality, and these things cannot exist without the other. Light and dark, good and evil, peace and war, hot and cold, and even likes and dislikes. You can’t dislike something without being able to likesomething. 

 And just so you know I didn’t just write this up a few days ago, here’s the screenshot of my Google Docs showing it has not been touched since October (see how productive I am? Lmao).

As I go, I may refer back to this a little bit, but now I’ll actually move on to actual chapter content.

 The chapter starts off with what appears to be not their very first meeting, but perhaps their second. Akimom has already met Kaito once before when she asked him if he ate any foods he liked (back in the vision from chapter 41), but it seems she had been looking for him since that initial meeting. Kaito is by himself of course, and he had intendedto be alone. So much so, in fact, that he put up a barrierto keep other people out! But Akimom seems to have penetrated this barrier, and Kaito wonders how she managed to do this. Rather casually, she tells him she simply broke right through it, but what I love about this is that she hasn’t just broken a barrier physically but emotionally as well. She tore down those literal walls he built and forced him to do something he probably never imagined himself doing; engaging in normal, non-magic related conversation.

 Kaito tells her that she’ll be missed at the meeting going on between the Association and her Clan, however this was more likely Kaito’s way of saying “Don’t you have somewhere better to be than talking to me right now?”. He also states rather seriously that although her Clan is friendly with the Association now, there is no telling when they will be crossed. His concerns make sense, considering both groups have selfish intentions, and it seems natural that eventually one of them will want to overpower the other once their mutual goal is met. But this statement to me also expresses that he sees her as someone who is naïve and might be harmed by this, thus a small amount of caring coming from him. He wants to warn her so she doesn’t get hurt. However, this could also be his way of continuing to try and push her away, seeing as he is one of those in the group he claims may betray her.

 Akimom contests this brilliantly though, not letting it deter or frighten her, and mentions that since he is their strongest, that shouldn’t he be there? This is where the two of them seem to find their first thing in common, which is that the both of them find these meetings insufferably boring. It also appears that both the Association and the Clan don’t really seem to care if either of them are a part of this meeting. After all, they don’t want their opinions or to actually talk to them. All they want is their magic.

 Despite knowing this, Akimom says she has better things to do with her time (what a boss), and I honestly really respect that. She’s not salty or angry about it. She simply takes that time to instead live her best life, and that seems to be eating as many chocolate mint things as possible. Lmao!! She loves chocolate mint so much that she is desperate to have Kaito try one, and this I think is something we can all relate to. Haven’t we all desperately wanted to recommend things we like to a friend (like me talking the ear off of anyone who will listen about Cardcaptor Sakura)?

 She’sso excited, but Kaito doesn’t understand this at all. Instead he asks her why she bothers talking to him at all. After all, didn’t she hear what he said? He told her that his group may betray her, but she seems unfazed by this and even mentions how her own Clan only ever talks about controlling all the magic in the world. I do want to take a brief moment to talk about how terrifyingthis casual thing she said actually is. Soak that in for a moment…all of the magic in the world. That is a incredibly high ambition, and what do you think that means for the ones who don’t want to join their ranks? The implications of this goal seem very likely to result in violence at some point, and Akimom is well aware of this. Kaito seems to believe that she should not be speaking with him as a result of the Association’s own goals, but she rejects this and says “Of course I do! I need to get to know you better, don’t I?”.

 Kaito sees she’s not getting the message, so he decides to try and take matters into his own hands by literally walking away. Lmaooo. But Akimom stops him and asks him to try one bite of the chocolate mint and tell her what he thinks of it. Little Kaito sees no point in it because she is able to see the future in her dreams, and why bother asking him a question she already knows the answer to, right? In this page, yet another dreamseer has been unveiled, and it seems to be a theme in CLAMP that these dreamseers (which seem to be almost entirely female), are incredibly strong in magic. The dreamseers we know of now in Cardcaptor Sakura are: Sakura (of course), Nadeshiko, Yelan, and now Akimom (I’m not sure if Clow Reed, Eriol, or Kaho count as dreamseers or not, but they all have some level of reading the future, just maybe not in dreams). So basically the main cast’s mothers all are dreamseers. Lol.

 Kaito addresses how Akimom’s specialty is seeing the future in dreams, however I was a bit surprised to the question he asked her next. He asks her if she sees what his power can be helpful for, and his face looks so sad here. The impression I got from this is that he is a young child desperately trying to find his purpose in life, and he’s probably been told that his magic is his purpose and this is all he needs. But he wants more. It seems he wants to find more of a purpose for his magic other than just being really really strong. It’s not stated, but I imagine Akimom is probably the first person he’s ever had this conversation with.

She seems to kind of avert the question by cracking a lighthearted joke about how she doesn’t yet need his help with house chores since she’s still tall enough to change lightbulbs and is pretty self capable. Hahaha. But of course, Kaito pushes her for a less silly answer. She tells him that she had a dream that if she went to a certain place that she’d meet him, and that she was fine with this because even if she does see the future, it is up to herto decide what she wants to do with this information. By saying this, I think she was also telling Kaito that he too can decide what he wants to do with his power and that it is not something predetermined.

She finishes by saying that her choice was to get to know him, and he pulls up his cloak a bit shyly before telling her that he is not interested. Haha! He starts to leave, but this time Akimom doesn’t try to stop him. He’s clearly hit his limit of social interaction for the day, and even she can see that. He makes a quick getaway, and quietly to herself, Akimom has a hope that someday she can call him by name (which I imagine she will someday!).

 The next page shows future interactions, which are all adorable in their own right, but mostly contain her really going hard on offering him chocolate mint snacks (including choco mint potato chips? Wut?). I imagine he consistently refused these harmless offers until one day he finally gives in and tries a chocolate mint treat for the first time. Akimom can hardly contain her excitement and anticipation as to what he’ll say, and it doesn’t take him long to tell her that he hates it. Even though he dislikes it, it is true that he has found progress by actually having an opinion about something! This I where I’ll bring up my little fanfic script from earlier. I had a feeling that Akimom’s dynamic with him would be trying to find something he likes, because if he can hatesomething, then he can absolutely likesomething, and I’m so happy I got that one right!

Another thing that I managed to get right (along with many other fans of course) is guessing that he indeed does not like choco mint. You may be wondering “Chrissy, what does this mean and why is this so important?”. Well, CLAMP has been teasing this whole choco mint thing since its introduction in chapter 36. It was mentioned so often in that chapter that fellow CLAMP enthusiasts and I could not help but think “Okay, this has gotto mean something.” It was expressed which characters like and dislike choco mint in the chapter, and there were only a handful of people who clearly dislikedit. These people who dislike it came out to be: Chiharu, Touya, Fujitaka, Eriol, Akiho’s father, and Syaoran (this is also where the speculation that Akiho and Syaoran might have the same dad came about, and I can’t straight out deny it, but it seems extremely unlikely. Hahahaha). Kaito was the only one who was purposely left out of this chapter and it was dangled in a rather mysterious way to have us all pulling our hair out and wondering what it means. Lmao. But I had always had the feeling he would be not a fan. And why did I think this? Well, because of Syaoran of course! The connections between them seem to be building, and now we’ve got another thing they have in common to add to the list!

 Now that they have found something Kaito dislikes, they can find something he likes, and he pulls up his cloak again in a bashful way (which makes me just want to hug him, because omg how precious is he). The next panel shows him eating chocolate covered pretzels, and he confirms he can eatthem, but this appears to be neither a confirmation of liking or disliking, so it is another bust for Akimom’s attempts. She tells him she made them herself, and he follows up by saying this must have been a bother. After all, doing anything at all seems like a bother for him still at this point, but maybe her efforts were what encouraged him to become so good at household chores and cooking in the future. It was something obviously that made her very happy, so maybe he thought ‘if I can learn how to do these too, maybe I can feel happy’.

 Kaito notices that she seems more cheerful than usual and asks her if something happened. She wonders how he noticed, and he expresses that it was something obvious, but Akimom says that the Clan never said anything. It seems implied here that maybe they noticed but simply didn’t care. They don’t seem like the type who really cares about anyone’s emotional well-being. But Akimom is positively radiant, and says that it is because she got to have another meeting with a distant relative. This person has seemingly worked with Akimom for years to try and summon a specific spirit (which I can only assume may be Momo), but Kaito probably doesn’t understand the connection between her meeting this person and her more cheerful behavior.

 But being as observant as he is, he notices another magical presence despite it being hidden under several layers of concealment. Akimom blushes quite a bit at this and decides to show him her ring, seeing as she can’t hide it from him. She holds the ringed finger to her face very affectionately and says that someone has sworn to protect her with the ring (which gives me total Syaoran vibes, I have to say). Kaito comments that whoever gave her this ring must have been very powerful. Akimom confirms this and says they are the second strongest magic user in the Clan after her (which based on what the Clan said in chapter 31 about Akiho’s parents being the strongest in the clan, it seems that this person is Akiho’s father), and Kaito asks her if she has fallen in love with their power. He seems incapable of understanding the concept of love and how power could not be the thing that attracted them to each other. It’s understandable how he would think this as the Clan probably specifically pairs people based on power, but power has been known in the CCS world to create some forms of attraction (like Syaoran’s initial attraction to Yukito for example). Kaito mentioned in Chapter 41 how he still did not understand what Akimom meant when she spoke of love, so it makes me wonder if this is part of the reason Kaito seems so interested in Syaoran? Maybe he thinks the two of them are together due to attraction from their powers but is trying to understand how it differs from just magical attraction.

 Akimom denies that she is attracted to this person because of their power and that she doesn’t fall for someone just for that reason. Yes, they are powerful, but she loves for different reasons entirely. She loves them because they are the person just for her, and she decided this when she met them. This was a decision she made on her own and not because of what her dreams told her.

 Now, here is where Cinzia and I yell obscenities at Kodansha for their dreadful English translations. Go check out @meimi-haneoka​’s post on this chapter, but every month she does incredible work dissecting the translation errors and making sense of them. This page in particular has caused quite a bit of commotion and confusion due to the words on the page and who is on the page. I’ll start off by saying now that no, Momo is not Akimom’s lover.

 The English translation on this page says “my beloved will do what I ask, even if they’re a bit hard headed. They’re very kind”. But this is notwhat the Japanese version says. Cinzia has properly translated this part, which appears to be ‘I will make a request. To a creature that is quite stubborn, but very kind’.

Completely different, right?

 So I say WHAT THE FUCK KODANSHA? This is just as bad, if not worse, than the ‘Mana’ incident last year (exactly one year ago it seems), and the one in Chapter 41 where it appeared that Kaito was accusing Syaoran of using Sakura’s cards for selfish reasons. It’s a freaking travesty, and I’m sure they have very little time to translate these before publication, but like…really? If Cinzia can determine what is actually being said without being a professional translator and in less than a day, then why the hell can’t Kodansha’s translator get one freaking month without errors?! Ugh! Okay, venting over. Lmao.

 So this page is not some great reveal of Momo being her lover but rather stating that she knows a little of what the future holds, but that she will ask a request of this creature as well, which happens to be Momo, so this point she had effectively moved on from talking specifically about the one she loves and was speaking more vaguely about the future in general. I imagine this request is when she gave Momo the ring and asked her to protect ‘her Alice, and the other Alice as well’. I think Akimom might have been aware already at this point that she would become pregnant with Akiho and would need to protect her as much as she can. She might have even known at this point that she would not be around soon.

 Kaito states he knows nothing of dreamers, but Akimom expresses that him not having those powers of foresight is a goodthing. He asks why, and she tells him that if he were good at everything, then life would be boring! I agree with this sentiment, but I think she also knows that with that knowledge comes pain, and she doesn’t want that for him. He seems somewhat distressed at not knowing the future, but Akimom tenderly tells him that even if she can’t help him find something he likes, that he will find that thing out there in the world, and it will be something his alone. This seems to further make me believe she knew at this point she wouldn’t be around, because of the words  ‘..I will probably not be able to look for what you like together with you’ (from the original Japanese version). Why would she say this unless she knew she wouldn’t be there for him to find said thing? But she believes in her heart that he will find it, and she says that something will be waiting for him. I believe this ‘something’ is Akiho.

 The scene comes back to the present, showing Kaito waking up on the couch after having passed out in the hallway. He asks Momo if she carried him there, and she hilariously responds in her tsundere way that he was in her way. Hahahaha. What a legend. He describes Momo the same way that Akimom did by calling Momo ‘hard-headed but kind’, and Momo seems to know immediately that he had dreamt of ‘Lillie’.

 THAT’S RIGHT, WE FINALLY HAVE A NAME FOR AKIMOM, AND IT’S BEAUTIFUL!!!

 Fittingly, when Momo says her name, there are lilies in the background. Kaito seems to change the subject and mentions how he was surprised to see the book that even Clow Reed couldn’t control in Akiho’s hand with Momo as well. He was also surprised to see the form Momo had taken. I can understand this surprise considering Akiho is known to have no magic power at all, so she seems the least likely of people for the book to end up with. Momo explains that had she been in another form, even the Clan would have recognized her, so it seems her adorable rabbit form was necessary for hiding not just from non magic wielding humans but also those who do wield magic. Kaito seems to think that Momo’s appearance was fortuitous and timely for his goals in the forbidden magic, and he wonders if Lillie foresaw this as well. Chances are she very much did, but I’m sure Kaito thinks about this often in these ‘hitsuzen’ moments.

 Momo asks if he really isn’t going to change his mind before she tells him that things are progressing with the story of the Twin Alices, Sakura and Akiho. But she warns him that this story won’t go according to his wish alone but rather the wills of all involved . And once it has begun, there will be no going back. Cinzia noted in her own analysis that the specific way Momo says this is exactly the same as the mysterious voice that told Sakura and Akiho “You can never go back”. So it seems possible that this mysterious voice could be Momo, however I am a bit skeptical.

I think by saying this, Momo is telling us this is Kaito’s last chance to back out, which means very very soon things will escalate.

 Anyways, I think the next chapter will very likely start with the play or at least be some sort of dramatic rehearsal. I think ‘that time’ is approaching very quickly now, and I cannot contain my hype. Next month is Sakura’s birthday, so I’m praying we get something real special!

I promise I will write my analysis of chapter 60 soon. I’m just trying to find the energy to do it right now, because I have a lot to say. Hahaha. Thank you all for your patience! 

I might be a little late to the party, but here’s my rushed birthday piece for Kaito’s birthday!

Initials thoughts on Chapter 60: 

* Kaito is a precious cinnamon roll that needs to be protected. 

* Akimom (now known as Lillie) is a cinnamon roll that needs to be protected. 

* Momo is still queen and has made my day with her sassy attitude. 

* No, Lillie is not in love with Momo. 

Last night I had a veryunexpected dream, but it seems fitting seeing as last night there was a full lunar eclipse that made the moon blood red! 

In this dream, Syaoran was out with Sakura somewhere, maybe a museum? And Kaito shows up. Syaoran is glaring at him of course and on guard. Kaito smiles back like he always does, but then suddenly his face gets serious, and something totally crazyhappens….

Kaito stops time, touches Syaoran to unfreeze time around him, but uses magic to not just silence him but also keep him from moving. He then picks him up and starts running away!! So in the dream, I was watching this on a tv and screaming like so bad. I was like ‘WHAT?! WHAT’S HAPPENING?!’. So Kaito is running off with Syaoran over his shoulder and gets onto an elevator. Syaoran breaks through the spell a little and starts talking, trying to use magic to get a message to Sakura, but Kaito knocks him out and you see Syaoran’s head fall back. I don’t remember exactly what Kaito said, but he mentioned something about Yelan then said something about “the owner of this world”. It was about right when the elevator opened that the scene cut out, cuz’ someone changed the channel and I got really mad and couldn’t see the rest of it. That’s about when I woke up.

Sorry for the silence all! I still want to post some Tsubasa Chronicle Month stuff (which I’m way behind on now) and the newest Clear Card chapter Analysis, as well as share all the pictures of the new merch I’ve gotten! I’ve just been kind of burnt out lately and trying to focus on my health (also high key struggling with a new diet). I promise I’ll post again soon! Just wanted to let you know I’m alive (if anyone cares XD). Thanks for your patience!

Here we go again! Another chapter, and seemingly like always, I have more and more questions! CLAMP, CUT ME SOME SLACK HERE!!

We also got 3 whole panels of Syaoran, which is not enough, but I’ll  honestly take it at this point. Lmao!  But we do get some juicy Kaito development, and I’m living for it! My full thoughts on this chapter are under the cut due to length and spoilers!

I feel like this cover page is a perfect choice for CLAMP since introducing us officially to Lillie (I say officially since we now know her name), and seeing as what goes on later in this chapter, it is also fitting to have both mothers on the cover. I absolutely lovethe dress designs and it only just now occurred to me seeing this image that both Nadeshiko and Lillie have flower names! They are wearing dresses designed after their respective flowers, and I can never get over just how creativeMokona-sensei is with her designs. Seriously, no matter how hard I try to design an outfit myself, it always looks so bland in comparison (which also makes me realize I have no sense of fashion), but Mokona is just never lacking in genius. Just amazing.

The chapter itself starts off with another Cloaked Figure dream, and it seems Sakura is pressing more and more for answers each time she has these. They don’t seem to really startle her anymore or cause her distress. In fact, she only seems to become more calm and calculating with her questions, and it really shows how she’s grown. She even starts to answer a bit of her own questions while she goes. She knows that at some point she will meet this cloaked figure, and as part of her outfit changes for a brief moment (just the sleeve showing as to not spoil for us her official Alice costume), she also identifies that she will meet the cloaked figure while wearing this particular outfit.

Although it doesn’t tell us much at first glance, I think might be confirming that the moment we see that sleeve again, it will be when the plot really gets turned on its head, and it seems more and more likely that this play will be the center of this major event. Surprisingly, the cloaked figure actually lowers part of their cloak to speak, but of course not enough to reveal who they really are. And naturally, with it being a manga, we cannot identify the voice of who is speaking to determine this either, but the words stated are quite alarming. They state that when they meet, it will be “the beginning of the end”. What’s alarming about this is that we don’t know where the ‘end’ leads to. Because this is Cardcaptor Sakura, I’m sure it will have a happy ending overall, but what will they go through first to achieve that happy ending this time? This is also a callback to the very first words in Clear Card, which were “When all the cards have gathered together, it is not the end, but rather, the beginning. The beginning of the end”.

Because this line specifically mentions ‘when the cards have gathered together’, this leads me to believe that for sure we have at least three parties involved, which would  unsurprisingly be Sakura (with the Clear Cards of course), Syaoran (with the Sakura cards), and Kaito (who currently has Mirror).

The dream ends when Sakura wakes up, appearing to have fallen asleep at the dining room table while practicing her lines for the Twin Alices play. Her father is there with a blanket and tells her that he understands that she’s working hard but to not push herself. Sakura of course understands and appreciates the sentiment, but she states that she simply wants to do her best since Akiho is working so hard herself. Syaoran has also mentioned wanting to do his best in his roles since everyone is doing their best, so it seems that they are motivating each other all around for this play!

Sakura looks to the table where her mother’s picture always is and asks her father what she was like. It’s natural for Sakura to be curious about her mother as a person when she never really knew her, and I’m sure she’s even had this conversation before but still wants to know more (as any child would). I have to say, the way Fujitaka talks about her doesn’t really say much about how she actually was as a person, but it shows a lot about how much he loved her. He really seems to adore her and sees her as an angel fallen from heaven who gave him the most precious gifts that anyone could give a person. It’s honestly so pure, it makes me even more sad that Nadeshiko passed away. I can’t imagine how Fujitaka felt when he loved someone that much, who showed him so much love in return, and then lost them.

The scene changes to Akiho, who had fallen asleep doing the same thing Sakura was. And just like Fujitaka was doing for Sakura, Kaito is standing nearby with a blanket for Akiho. The same words are spoken to Akiho, asking her not to push herself, and she responds in exactly the same manner as Sakura by stating that she wants to work hard since Sakura is working so hard. However, Kaito’s reaction to this is a bit different than Fujitaka’s, and he seems to show a bit more concern before his hand seems to one again reach out unconsciously (Cinzia fondly calls this action ‘the hand’ -insert trademark-. Hahahaha).

I think this might be the third time in about 4 chapters that he has done this, so the mask he’s been wearing is most definitely starting to break. Kaito’s true feelings cannot stay buried much longer, and this consistent action of his hand reaching out to Akiho is proof of this. But time and time again, he keeps fighting himself and pulling the hand (-insert trademark-) back before putting the mask back up and simply telling her that she will do wonderfully. Now, I can’t help but wonder why he looked so serious when Akiho was simply talking about doing her best, and I can only assume that it is because he knows that this play is likely going to be ruined by what happens next; that maybe her hard work will go to waste. Or maybe he is just hoping to live long enough to see it and still feels like he had so much to say to her before he’s gone. There are honestly so many different things that could be going through his head right now, but it’s increasingly more obvious how much he cares about her.

Akiho glances backwards at an empty spot, as if looking for something, and Kaito picks up on this before asking her what she was looking for. She says that she wanted to see a photo, but then finds it strange as she never had any photos of her mother to begin with. It seems after observation that this is perhaps a result of the synchronization going on between her and Sakura. Kaito’s face looks a bit grim when she says this, perhaps because he realizes the synchronization is getting stronger, but also it is a reminder of Lillie being gone.

Poor Akiho mentions how her parents never left her a single photo, which is certainly sad on its own, but then she tells a story from her childhood that just makes everything about her life seem so…much…worse. She tells us how her mother was the strongest magician in her clan and could see the future in dreams as well as perform just about any spell with ease, and that her father was the second strongest. It’s nice to hear her officially talking about this, because it shows that she really is aware of the magical world in its entirety. The clan was thrilled when her parents got engaged, but only because of their hopes for the production of a exceptionally gifted magical child. Akiho, as we know, was born without magic, but she tragically tells us more about her parents demise by stating that it was an accident in which they died to protect her.

So…I can’t even imagine losing both of my parents at the same time, let alone at that young an age, but to also know that they died protecting me? I feel like that would make any child feel unworthyof such an immense sacrifice, despite it really showing how much they were loved. But to make things even worse, she recalled a time, back when she was old enough to understand words, that her clan frequently spoke of how unfortunate it was that Lillie could not forsee her own demise and that since she left behind a child with no power, it would have been better if Akiho’s parents never met at all. So this poor child who likely already felt unworthy of her parents sacrifice, was overhearing her own family say with her right there that she was better off not being born due to her lack of magic and the loss of their two strongest magicians. I did not think I could hate this family any more than I already did, but they just went up to Fei Wang Reed level of hate in my book (and that’s a lot of hate). The emotional abuse here is just so incredibly fucked up, and it’s honestly the darkest story to enter CCS thus far.

What also angers me so much is how they stated that Lillie did not forsee her own demise, when in reality, she very likely (like 99.9% based on what she said in the last chapter) did know that she would not live much longer. What these fuckers don’t understand (pardon my language, but this clan makes my blood boil), is that if there was no other way, Lillie would make this decision every single time because her love for her daughter is that strong. But as we’ve seen before, the clan doesn’t understand love at all. They couldn’t possibly understand how a magicless child could be loved so unconditionally.

As I am fuming about this, it seems Kaito shares that feeling of anger, and for the first time, we see him clench his fists as he fights to restrain himself from speaking out. But eventually, it becomes too much, and he has a bit of an outburst (a rather extreme one for Kaito). He tells Akiho that this is not true, and that even though she can’t use magic, there are things she can do that those fools could never dream of doing. The English translation uses the word ‘fools’, which I absolutely love in this context, and though the original Japanese doesn’t translate exactly to that, @meimi-haneoka​ with her glorious translation notes has confirmed that the feelings behind it are still there. Because we know that Kaito is actually a bit more rude and sassy than he allows anyone to see (as Cinzia calls his ‘Ore’ side), I translated this in my mind as “AKIHO, DON’T LISTEN TO THOSE FUCKING IDIOTS, THEY DON’T KNOW WHAT THEY’RE TALKING ABOUT!”. XDDDD

Akiho seems a bit surprised by the rude language Kaito uses (which is really tame, but far different from his usual polite façade), and he recovers quickly, realizing he lost control of himself once again and apologizes for his rudeness. I honestly love this side of Kaito and want to see a lot more of it, but he’s so damn stubborn that he won’t let his true self come out! Come on, I want the sassy Kaito who speaks his mind, regardless of how one might feel about what he’s saying! Akiho shakes her head at his apology and then thanks him. It must have felt good to actually have someone stick up for her for once and tell her that she meanssomething, regardless of whether she has magic or not.

She changes the subject a bit and speaks of how she asked over and over again what her parents were like, but that she was only ever told that they both loved chocolate mint. And because she too loves chocolate mint, this makes her feel like she has a connection to her parents. This is really sweet, but I also am even more furious thinking that the clan couldn’t even bother to divulge more information to her about her own parents other than this one thing. 

But….

CLAMP. I have questions…

In chapter 36, when the whole chocolate mint thing was introduced, Nadeshiko mentioned that Lillie had told her the one she loved most did notlike chocolate mint. In fact, it wasn’t just said once but twice. Lillie was also travelling the world with the one she loved most, which we can only assume must be Akiho’s father. Initially, I thought “Okay, this has to be a translation error, because Kodansha fucks up all the time”, but I was incredibly surprised to hear from Cinzia that this was actually not a translation error.

Now, I can’t rule out this not being a continuity error on CLAMP’s part (I spent 10 years on a story myself and know how hard it is to keep continuity with some things when you’ve been writing for that long), but CLAMP has always done a really good job of keeping things consistent, so I have a hard time believing that this is an error. It’s especially hard to believe considering how much focus they have put on the chocolate mint topic in particular. The subject of chocolate mint has always come across as CLAMP’s subtle way of drawing connections to some characters, but it’s hard to say exactly which connection in particular they want us to pay attention to.

So, if we go based on the idea that this was nota mistake, then why would Akiho say this?

When I thought about it, I remembered who she had gotten this information from. Her clan had told her this, and honestly what the fuck do they really know about Lillie and Akidad personally? So after discussion with some friends on discord, we came to a bit of a shared conclusion that the clan might have thought Akidad liked chocolate mint, but that he didn’t actually like it at all. In chapter 36, it was mentioned that Syaoran doesn’t like chocolate mint either, but he seemed disappointed when Sakura didn’t make him any. Tomoyo pointed out that even if he didn’t like the flavor, if it was made by Sakura, he would have eaten it. I think the same idea would have applied to Akidad. Although he wouldn’t actually like it, he likely pretended to or at least ate it because he loved how happy it made Lillie. And as a result of seeing this, the clan might be lead to believe he actually liked chocolate mint. This is an idea I can get behind that is both heartwarming but also shows how absolutely disconnected the clan is from the feelings of their own members.

While Akiho expresses her happiness in having this supposed connection to her parents (or at least one of them), Kaito can’t help but see her mother, and this is the first time we see him making a direct comparison between Akiho and Lillie. Of course we already knew they resembled each other quite a bit, but it’s refreshing to see if finally come from Kaito.

However, he starts to think back on that moment where he was asked to review Akiho for magical power and how he had described her as being like a blank book. I had thought for quite some time that he might have felt guilt over his description of her, because it seemed clear that the clan got the idea to turn her into a tool as a result of these words. It appears this theory was correct, but it is even more tragic when we find out that Kaito had only described her in such a way because he thought that with her having no magic and her parents being gone, that they would simply exile her and allow her to live a normal life. This shows how he had actually intended kindness and wanted her to have a good and happy life, but she was robbedof this because of his words. This brings a lot more context to why he might be doing all of this.

I mentioned before that I felt the magic Kaito wanted to do was to bring back a life or change a specific moment in time, but this chapter has now I feel shown plausible motives for bothof those reasons. I could see him wanting to bring back Akiho’s parents so Akiho can live with a happy family, but I can also see him wanting to go back to that moment and change what he stated in a way that would ensure Akiho had a better life than being used as a tool. He clearly has guilt over he situation and even very openly blames himself as the reason that Akiho is on the verge of losing her soul. This is absolutely heartbreaking, and Kaito desperately needs someone to tell him that he is notresponsible for the choices of others. Yes, our words are powerful and impact the world around us, but our words do not completelycontrol the actions of others, and this was a choice made by the clan, not him.

Kaito tells Akiho that he has a feeling that she and her mother have a lot in common, which rather proves to me that Kaito has probably not ever told Akiho that he knew her mother well. If she knew after all, I’m sure she would have asked him all sorts of questions about her. I hope he can tell her more about her someday.

The scene changes to show Fujitaka stating the same thing to Sakura; that she too is a lot like her mother. Fujitaka tells Sakura not to stay up too late, and right after leaving the room, Sakura creates two cards rather abruptly. Immediately, after she creates them, she calls Syaoran, and we FINALLY get our first Syaoran appearance in like 3 months (thank god, I would’ve lost it if we went another full chapter without even one panel of him). Sakura apologizes for calling him so late, but he tells her he was already up (undoubtedly practicing his own part in the play), and she tells him how she believes she created two new cards in a dream. Syaoran asks about the details of these two new cards, and Sakura smiles and responds that they are very kind. The last page shows the two cards, which show what appear to be card versions of Touya (CHOICE) and Fujitaka (KINDNESS). I believe the Touya one stemmed from the conversation she had with him recently about choosing her own future and the Fujitaka one clearly from the kindness her father always shows her every day. I’m not sure what kind of ability these cards would have or if they have any significance at all later on, but it’ll be interesting to find out!

I’m hoping this is the last chapter of the ‘calm before the storm’ and that we’ll actually have some escalation in the next chapter, but we shall see! Until next month!

AHHHHHHHH!!!!

 AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Sorry, I had to get that out of my system first before I talk about this chapter. The second I saw that Syaoran and Sakura were not just on the cover of the Nakayoshi (the first time ever!) but also the color page, I knew we were about to get an exciting chapter!

Without further ado, let’s jump into it! Under the cut due to length and spoilers!

The color page is SO beautiful. I always love any pages that have SyaoSaku on it, but this one is incredibly symbolic in several ways. The first thing to point out is of course the outfits. Sakura’s has star symbols on it, which show her power of the stars, and Syaoran’s has moons to symbolize his moon magic. The blue and purple colors compliment each other very well, but I especially love the gentle touching of their hands. Since they cannot touch right now, it’s been a while since we’ve actually seen this. It’s nice to see it, even if it is only in a color page. They are also standing beside a bare tree, but they are surrounded by orbs of light in the darkness. This is a rather similar looking image to a previous color page with Kaito (I recognized this as well, but Cinzia pointed it out first and brought up good points), who was entangled by the tree and holding only a single orb of light in his hands while surrounded by glass shards. I believe this is symbolism to how their love lights the darkness, whereas with Kaito he is afraid to not just be loved but to love himself as well.

The chapter starts with Fujitaka entering the school and looking rather worried. Touya reminds him that they are headed to the right place and he does not need to be nervous as he has checked many many times already. Fujitaka is so precious here wanting so desperately to make sure he doesn’t miss a moment. Touya reassures him again that they’ve got Yukito on filming duty, so he will for sure not miss a moment. Fujitaka is grateful but still seems to be worried about what will happen if his camera fails, thinking about every possible thing that could go wrong. Fortunately for him, Sonomi is ready to go with several professional grade cameras manned by her security detail, and this is such a nice callback to the second movie!!

Fujitaka and Sonomi both express how excited they are to see the play, and Nakuru comments on how amusing the both of them are. They follow the signs leading to the play, which I think has an adorable reference to Alice in Wonderland like the little signs that would say ‘Drink Me’ or ‘Eat Me’. Hehe. When they finally reach the destination, they are lead to the courtyard that Syaoran and Kaito had their epic battle on Parents day! But this time, the courtyard looks completely different with dangling banners, lights, and lovely flowing curtains around the stage. It obviously took a lot of work to set all this up, and while everyone shows their amazement at how beautiful it looks, one of the teachers states that the students put all of It together themselves. The teachers adorably talk about how hard everyone worked and that they are doing their best to show everyone around, but can we please talk about how fucking MIKE FROM PORTLAND SHOWED UP?!!!

I didn’t even see him the first time I read this, but @meimi-haneoka​ pointed out that he was there, and holy shit she’s right! Mike from Portland (the English teacher from the first episode of the Clear Card anime) has finally shown his face in the manga, and right before the climax no less! Maybe the jokes about how Mike from Portland is the true enemy is actually to be taken seriously? Lol, just kidding. Nonetheless, it’s incrediblyamusing.

The play begins rather quickly once the setting is introduced, and it starts off with Yamazaki playing the piano and Tomoyo singing! <3

The lyrics of the song are finally being heard for the first time, and it’s such a sweet song! Reminding Alice that she is unique and special and to never forget who she is! Tomoyo starts things off with the first line, saying good morning to Alice, and Sakura wakes from her slumber on the big fluffy bed (that looks quite a lot like her own bed!). The story starts off like we have heard before of Alice being in a world very close to our own yet very far away and how she could sometimes dream of the future.

The black cat appears in the bed, or rather a prop being controlled by a mysterious person who just was hiding away under the covers of the bed. Lmao. Sakura carries the cat off stage and makes a quick costume change. The dress is really cute, but I honestly had hoped for something a bit more glamorous? This does not appear to be the final battle outfit though, as CLAMP teased us with the sleeve of what Sakura will wear when she meets the cloaked figure back in chapter 61.

While Sakura talks to her ‘parents’ in the play, the stagehands shine a logo and title of the play on the curtains and it appears that Naoko has made a last minute change to the title. Now, instead of “The Twin Alices”, she has changed it to “Alice in Clockland”, just like Akiho’s book! This is very surprising, and I’m not the only one who was surprised it seems. Momo and Kaito are watching from the rooftops, and Momo asks if Kaito had anything to do with the title change. He states that it was purely a coincidence and had nothing to do with him, but in classic CLAMP style, it is mentioned that there is no such thing as coincidence; only inevitability (hitsuzen!).

It’s important to note here that the outfit Kaito is wearing has a dragon design on the bottom of it, which looks very similar to the border used on the storybook style backstory shown for him before. I’m not sure if this will be the last outfit we will see him in, but it does seem to further emphasize the importance of what is about to happen.

Kaito states it is time for Alice to arrive in Clockland, and while Sakura is chasing after the black cat, there is a big whoosh of the curtains, which seem to be black now, whereas they were white before. It is very subtle, but I think here, magic is being used to actually transport her to Clockland. 

Sakura is now in a new costume that is absolutely ADORABLE, and she asks where she is.  This outfit also does not appear to be the final battle outfit, but there is a little clock-bolt brooch on her big bow that resembles the one on Momo’s ring crown, so it seems to be possibly reflective of her truly being in Clockland. The setting still look like that of a stage for a play, and a wall with a moon on it opens up to reveal….SYAORAN?  A BLACK CAT SYAORAN?!!!

I was completely stunned to see this for a few different reasons. The first one is because Syaoran is not supposed to be on stage, and his outfit and demeanor seem sodifferent from what I recognize Syaoran to be like. Because of this alone and the big whooshes before, I am 99.9% sure this is notactually Syaoran and is a magically created version of him either by Kaito or Clockland. I am absolutely intrigued to see where this goes and why in particular Syaoran’s form is being shown here. I understand some of you may think that this is still part of the play and that Naoko managed to badger him into taking an actual role on the stage, but I really really doubt it.  I feel like Syaoran would be incredibly embarrassed acting this out with his legs crossed and seeing so much more casual than usual, but who knows? Maybe he’s a much better actor than anyone realized. Hahahaa!

The second reason I’m surprised here is because in late March on 2017, I had a dream that the CCS group was planning a school play and that Tomoyo was making the outfits (of course). I don’t remember how anyone else was dressed, but I specifically remember seeing Syaoran looking a lot like Ciel Phantomhive with the boots, stockings, shorts, and a eye patch over his right eye. And I gotta say…this outfit looks damn close to a Ciel Phantomhive outfit. He’s not wearing an eyepatch here like in my dream, but he is wearing a monocle over the same right eye (because of fucking course it’s the right eye), so I’m considering this another extremely weird dream coming to reality situation. STAY OUT OF MY DREAMS CLAMP, THIS IS GETTING WEIRD.

The chapter ends on that whopper of a cliffhanger, and I’m so so so stoked for the next chapter. I want to know who this is that shares Syaoran’s form. Is it MIRROR being used by Kaito? Is it someone else entirely who looks like him or has stolen his appearance? Or is it actuallySyaoran and I’m totally overthinking things?  I guess we’ll find out! But I can’t wait to see where this goes and how Sakura interacts with this black cat Syaoran!! I imagine she’s going to be very confused and continue to interact with him like she’s still in the play, wondering why Syaoran is on stage, until she eventually realizes she’s not on the stage anymore. 

We’ll just have to wait to find out! See you all next month! 

Chrissy: -has a dream in late March 2017 about the CCS group doing a school play and Syaoran wearing Ciel Phantomhive looking clothes-

Also Chrissy: -reads chapter 63 of Clear Card - STAY OUT OF MY DREAMS, CLAMP!!!!