#crowley has ptsd

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krakensdottir:

on-stardust-wings:

whispsofwind:

death-v-elvis:

colourpatternist:

I find it interesting how, as Gabriel is arriving with his thunder and lightening, Crowley is the first to react well before everyone else.

This is everyone at the very first frame of Gabriel making his way to the everyone.

This is five frames later. Everyone else is reacting to the loud thunder that claps around them.

Any theories on why Crowley reacts to Gabriel’s presence much quicker than literally anyone else, even Aziraphale?

My favorite theory is Crowley has probably the highest level of Self preservation on this side of Heaven, hell and earth.

He is looking out for himself and an angel who was probably created to run face first and defend against danger as a Principality (who as shown in the show is way more concerned about Crowley’s death then his own). So Crowley’s thresh hold for ‘what in the room is going to kill me’ is probably Spidey-sense level or stronger. So An Archangel is probably high enough on that list that Crowley could feel The momentGabrieldecides he is going to come down to earth. Hell Crowley knows when Hell is checking up on him and when they aren’t looking at them. He knows when Aziraphale is in trouble. Crowley is ready for attack at any moment.

Meanwhile I really think Aziraphale is a 100% oblivious by creation to not think about his own death. He was created to protect. If you were terrified of your own death you wouldn’t be a good protector. He gave away his weapon because it would protect the humans, he has gotten himself into multiple scrapes, he let a demon under his wing and close to him. When him and Crowley fight it is never ‘Heaven is going to kill me’ it is ‘Heaven and Hell will hurt you’ this angel was sitting in a jail cell and he was more worried about paper work, he barely flinched at a gun being pointed at him. In the book he looked at Satan picked up his sword and prepared to for a Throw down with the devil even in the show his sword is up ready to launch at the devil if he tried to hurt Adam. So Gabriel isn’t on his radar like he is on Crowley’s. Because if it came down to it. Aziraphale would fight him too with out batting an eye.

Yesssss

A very interesting thing is that, according to the book and the tv script, Crowley basically runs on fear.

He’s deeply aware of the fact that he’s not a very powerful demon. He’s scared of Hell, he’s scared of Hastur and Ligur, he’s scared of Satan, and he lives in a world where the first old lady with a bottle of Holy Water could kill him.

Admittedly, he’s a bit more jumpy in the book, but I suspect he just hides it better in the show. A bit more “fight” on the “flight or fight” scale, but I think the essence is the same. This demon always knows where (and when) the threats are, because he was literally terrified into always knowing.

Meanwhile Aziraphale only ever brings up Crowley being destroyed or humans getting hurt. He brings up discorporation to criticize Crowley’s driving, but even then it’s more scolding than real, genuine fear of physical harm.

I don’t think we ever see Aziraphale scared of physical harm, in fact. And part of it it’s definitely that he used to be an angelic warrior and was created with little self preservation. And in the book that’s probably it.

But in the TV show, I suspect he actually… doesn’t think himself worthy of protection? Or, well, no, that’s not right. But it’s not just that’s he ready to throw hands, it’s that he genuinely doesn’t seem to realise that he doesn’t deserve to be hurt and get into trouble?

Like, he’s so happy when Crowley comes to the rescue. Is Crowley the only person who ever stood up for Aziraphale? How much of it it’s Aziraphale being created with no self preservation, and how much it’s Aziraphale not realizing he has a right to stand up for himself, after millennia of emotional abuse?

I am sorry, I am doing a terrible job at explaining what I am thinking, I just have lots of feelings right now

We don’t know much about how angelic/demonic perception works, but we see Aziraphale asking Crowley if anyone is looking before they swap back on the bench in the park. There’s an implication there that Aziraphale can’t check for prying eyes as well as Crowley, otherwise he could do it himself, i.e. there is the implication that Crowley’s senses for angels or demons being around is better/sharper/more sensitive in some way.

Crowley also always finds Aziraphale anywhere no problem, especially when he’s in trouble, and he can sense (smell?) the Hellhound having found his master all the way from London. Whether it’s a honed skill, built after centuries of fear, or at least partly an innate skill, a natural sensitivity, Crowley picks that sort of thing up much more quickly than anyone else. He is also the first to react to Satan’s arrival at the airbase, and his reaction is by far the most violent. He’s in stabbing pain, as the Script Book says.

Aziraphale is sensitive to Love. Nobody else among the angels or demons reacts to that.

We know that angels and demons’ miracles work based on belief and expectations. We know these expectations shape reality around them, unconsciously usually. How much do their expectations and emotions shape the angels/demons themselves? I mean, how much does Crowley’s state of constant terror, however much he tries to hide it under a helping of Cool, shape his very nature and how it interacts with the world? How much will Aziraphale’s focus on love being maybe The most important thing on Earth shape his ability to perceive it? Maybe Aziraphale feels the love in Tadfield so intensely because he believes love is so important, and this belief creates or at least greatly boosts the sensitivity?

And, in that vein, how much does Aziraphale’s belief he isn’t really worth saving inform his lack of fear to be hurt? You’re absolutely right, @whispsofwind, Aziraphale seems to have very limited self-preservation instincts, to put that mildly. Aside of his complaints about Crowley’s driving, he never seems to care for his own well-being? Saving himself from getting beheaded is a frivolous miracle. Being shot will be paperwork. Aziraphale worries for everyone else’s safety, very noticeably for Crowley’s (“they’ll destroy you!”), but not for his own.

And that’s entirely Heaven’s fault? I’m sure Crowley is indeed the only person to ever give any value to Aziraphale as a person, who tries to keep him from harm, who tries to help him. None of the angels care about him at all. He’s just a foot soldier, and his posting on Earth isn’t even considered active duty by Gabriel. Six thousand years of work, and nobody cares about the results for real, let alone about the hardships encountered on the way.

The same is true about Crowley and Hell. Crowley’s role, as we learn early on, is to be “a tool” (in the glorious destiny of bringing about Armageddon). A tool. Not a person. Not an instigator. Not an agent. A tool. A thing. That’s the value Crowley is given by his superiors.

It’s never said with those words about Aziraphale, but it’s obviously the same thing. Nobody cares about them as people. They only have each other.

This ties in to what I said the other day about different angels and demons having different gifts or knacks or tricks, however you want to put it. I think they vary as much as we do, regardless of their allegiance. Crowley and Aziraphale sense very different things, and have very different reactions to them.

Of course, in Crowley’s case I’m 100% sure his hypervigilance is trauma-induced. I doubt he’s always run on fear and prey-animal wariness. But he sure as hell does now.

In addition to this shot, we can also see it in his reaction to the gun going off, and in the background when Satan yells at Adam. (I’d love to be one of those awesome people who can string together a gifset, but alas.) He’s got a very strong GET AWAY response to anything that poses a threat. It’s completely reflexive. He doesn’t think about it, his cool guy mask is nowhere to be seen, he doesn’t even look embarrassed about it. He just throws himself away from danger with every noodle muscle in his body, and if he can’t (like with Satan), he jerks and flings his arm up as if fighting off the urge. This guy is a survivor. There’s a reason he suggests running away, when Aziraphale would never think of it. They’ve developed very different skills, and this is Crowley’s.

All of this makes it really amazing that Crowley is even capable of being protective of anyone else. But he is, he’s legitimately watchful over Aziraphale. Always tries to keep him out of danger as well. That’s not innate. That’s him fighting his baked-in self-preservation response because if he flees, if he escapes and Aziraphale doesn’t, then it’s not bloody worth it. There are worse things than pain or death, even for Crowley. He’ll run, yes. But he won’t run without Aziraphale. And he’ll stand next to him when he clearly wants to get the hell out.

(Also when he’s prowling the bookshop, he’s got the stone-cold wariness of someone who’s not only looking out for threats, but is prepared to do something about it if he finds one. That expression on his face kills me. If the bookshop isn’t safe, he’s going to make it safe. We almost never see him like that and I’ll never be over it.)

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