#daddyslittleslut
As I said in my previous post, this blog is no longer maintained and I’m not logging into it anymore. However, it seems that many of you have written me messages asking for advice or mentorship in your own DD/lg pursuits. If that’s your purpose in writing me, feel free to reach out to me on Kik as emersonmiles.
Be safe and happy, little ones.
I am frequently confronted with that… thing… called Fifty Shades of Grey. My thoughts and feelings on it aren’t any one thing.
As an experienced practitioner of both D/s and SM, I enjoy a hyperbolized story of non-consent. And let’s just be honest - it was non-consent. But for somebody like me who understands that it was non-consent and would only ever play with a non-consent fantasy if it was a very deliberately negotiated and consensual form of non-consent. That’s tricky, it takes experience, and it takes being able to compartmentalize the D/s dynamic in order to be able to negotiate that scene as equals.
The book did not cover these basic elements of the kink scene, which ultimately was a disservice. What I’ve observed as a result in my real-life encounters is that it has granted a tremendous vehicle to controlling, abusive assholes who use D/s or SM as a legitimization of their misogyny. And in turn, that has created a very large cohort of eager, curious, willing, and inexperienced young female submissives who thing that the kink scene is just like what exists in the book.
Ultimately, these controlling assholes guilt these poor little ones into enduring experiences they don’t consent to, for fear of being a “bad submissive” or for disappointing their would-be master. That leaves serious emotional scars as any sexual assault would, and I’ve had more than my fair share of damage control duties, trying to help educate these little ones and reassure them that it wasn’t their mistake, if they have any interest in kink left at all.
Bottom line, Dominance is a responsibility, not a privilege. A submissive’s trust is earned by her Dominant, not given. No submissive or bottom is “bad” for revoking consent to play in a scene. And all scenes require unambiguous and fully-revokable consent. “Red light” means “Stop. Now. No discussion.”
Play safe out there, little ones. And if you have any questions or need advice, please do find a knowledgeable and experienced Dominant whom you trust. I’m happy to lend an ear if needed.