#dawn news

It comes only as pixelated images. There’s nothing firsthand here, nothing I can touch or smell.

I asked to go out. I wanted to take pictures–not in Qasba, but in one of the less-crazed areas. I somehow had (have?) the (naive, I’m sure) idea that my skin would protect me–I doubt anyone from any political party wants to go on record as shooting an American. Double ditto on that record thing for a Ranger. But I knew better before I even asked the city editor, who answered with a resounding no.

It’s frustrating to be stuck inside when the news is happening OUT THERE, when Express 24/7 has female anchors standing alone on deserted streets. Still standing, no signs of the massacre that we know is happening all around. She seems okay.

It’s frustrating to be stuck inside, because I’m here but only virtually. It’s frustrating to be so protected. I know the correct feeling is gratitude, but I’m a journalist, and I feel like I’m not doing my job. 

It reminds me of 9/11 in some ways, how I was glued to the TV and the net, processing the same information over and over again.

I’m constantly checking twitter, Express and Dawn homepages. I even have Express 24/7 on, and I never, like never, watch TV news.

I’m supposed to be finishing that art deco piece right now. It seems pointless. Who cares about historic preservation, the city’s on fire. If it survives–which it will, it always does (I’ve heard)–won’t that be historic preservation enough? Or maybe we should just focus on human preservation…

Ok. Turning off the TV. Closing the dozen tabs.

Gotta do some “work” now, however trite it seems. Especially because it seems I am incapable of doing anything else here. Why can’t I shake the nagging feeling that a “real” journalist would just go out anyway?