#days beyond

Dear Sugarcubs  

It’s been such a long time! I am so happy to be able to share my writing with you again. 

Hopefully you won’t kill me >////< it’s a little stiff but I guess after such a long time that can’t be helped. I hope you’ll be able to enjoy it 

It’s actually a continuation of the Kirishima x reader x Bakugou scenario I wrote. You can find it here! I finally decided to give it titel because I plan to make it a series. It’s called “Days Beyond” and I hope you will be with me on this journey ✨

Please excuse my really strange style, I try to get back at it. 

For now here it goes “Days Beyond - part 2″ 

[Bakugou Katsuki; Kirishima Eijirou; fem!reader] [Word Count: 1.189] [angst] 

Faint lightning illuminates the far night sky. The city itself is doused in charcoal black. A soft roar reverberates in the darkness, a last messenger from the storm that has passed. Still, your heart is clouded and your mind is raging.

Carefully, you sit up peeling your body out of damp tangled sheets. Bakugou stirs ever so slightly. Of course he stayed. Of course he would lay down beside you, caressing your back in soothing motions until you would run out of tears and your consciousness s would slowly give in to exhaustion. Bakugou always comes. Bakugou always stays and you don’t even need to ask. When it comes to you Bakugou is almost selfless, a trait which makes your guts clench and your heart bubble at the same time. You are guilty and selfish and  you are well aware of that. 

Quietly, not to wake him up you step out of bed. As your bare feet make contact with the wooden floor you still feel like walking on a dream. You sit down on the windowsill, eyes searching for something in the far dark distance. Your hand makes contact with the glass, a vapor print slowly arises around your warm fingers. So you are really still alive. I can’t feel it. Biting the inside of your lip, you lean your forehead against the cool window. A chilly shiver runs down your spine but you are barely aware of it. Nothing feels real. It’s like you’re awake inside of a dream. The world around you once so clear became a blur, a phantom of the future you wished for. The future he was inside. The only warmth you feel are the tears welling up inside your swollen eyes again. It’s strange and amazing how much a human can cry. It’s a never seizing endless stream.

Now cold fingers clutching against the window glass your thoughts start to race again. Your head is so full, you feel it bursting and cracking with a thousand silent thoughts and a million fading memories. It’s overwhelming and your mind is overflowing.

Why? Why can’t I stop being so sad?

Even happy memories make me cry. I feel so numb, so lost.

Why aren’t you here anymore?

Tell me, please tell me when will I be able to stop feeling so sad.

Time passes, you don’t know how long you were sitting like this, clenching your jaw to stop muffled mourning cries from escaping the prison of your lips, repeating the same questions over and over again.

Time became meaningless, for you it’s just a construct, an untouchable illusion. There is no line, just a fading border. Time is something that takes away all the moments engraved inside your heart. If time has to be something it’s a crucial, dreadful enemy. Raising your head to a starry sky full of cosmic specs you gulp.

Am I free to be happy again?

Am I allowed to?

There is not only sadness inside you, there is a fear shaking your very core.

A pair of strong arms envelop you, a halcyon scent encases your body. It’s different though. It’s not dark woods and spicy amber, there is a faint hint of fire and the refreshing smell of midsummer rain. It warms you and burns you up from the inside. It fuels your fear and strains every fiber of your being. You want to tell him, your beloved one, you still feel the same but you are running out of energy for this loosing battle.

Please tell me, am I really allowed to?

He nuzzles his nose against your wet cheek. “It’s okay baby girl, I am here” his voice is so low, his words are mere vibrations on your fiery skin. You ease into his chest and he grabs you, lifting you up from the cold windowsill.

Meeting his crimson gaze, yet another fear arises. Is it really okay to be selfish? Will you ever be able to give him what he truly wants?

You wrap your arms around his neck, your lips brushing against his bare skin forming silent words.

“Thank you Katsuki”

His sleep is dreamless. It’s a vanta void sucking in every thought, every noise, everything that stirs inside him and he is thankful to whichever heavenly being is responsible for that abyss. If he dreams it’s only ever nightmares and Kirishima’s wistful face the moment he realized the fangs of death caught up to him. Those dreams are silent except for the whispered words his best friend formed “I am sorry, please take care of her” and then there is this loud, ominous crack of Kirishima breaking. A disturbing sound that shakes your very core. It echoes and it never stops.

Suddenly, his eyes flutter open. Something is just not right. His head is all dizzy. Drowsy his ruby orbs scan their surroundings. You’re not here. Panic gushes through his veins like a wildfire, adrenaline is forcing him to wake up. He jolts upright. The moment he’s about to jump out of bed his eyes make out a shadowy figure right in front of the window. He takes a calming breath. “Shitty woman, one day you’re gonna give me a heart attack”, he murmurs underneath his hitched breath.

His pupils dilate trying to focus in this blurry gray. He sees your frame rattling and your hand desperately clutching against the invisible glass. All of a sudden the air is tense and his chest tightens. It’s hard to see you still hurting like that and it’s even harder that he is not able to help you. His own shaky fingers curl deep inside the messed up sheets and for a moment he allows himself to hang his head. Goddammit. He needs to stay fucking focused.

For a timeless moment he just sits there and stares. This is a burden he placed on himself. You are trembling and crying, silent, alone and you seem so empty. Pain is not the right word to describe what he feels. It’s something that eats him alive, corrupting him, etching like acid. Somber remembrance strikes his mind of days filled with your radiant smile. A smile that was never meant to be his.

It stings, like someone is skewering his heart.

Bakugou Katsuki always took without asking, always grabbing fiercely what he thought was meant to be his.

He never took you.

Bakugou Katsuki doesn’t give a shit about others but he cares a darn lot about you and it’s breaking him from the inside.

Forcing himself to his feet, he gets up, he can deal with his own pitiful problems later. Right now you’re a lot more important.

Embracing you from behind, he picks you up. Your body is like a fucking ice crystal, despite the temperature only dropped slightly. He is clutching you even tighter, trying to warm you. It’s an electric touch and goosebumps pebble wherever your skin molds into his. For a brief second your gazes lock. What’s with that strained look in your glistening eyes?

Without a warning your soft lips brush against his neck and something inside him cracks. An irrevocable demise.