#dick joke
Tim: So what are you and Barbara doing for Valentine’s Day?
Dick: Oh, the usual. We go to the drug store and buy up all the Valentine’s Day cards, and then we watch the forgetful husbands panic.
Batman teaches all of the Robins how to disappear in the middle of conversations. He can’t do it alone and leave the kid stranded, after all, and the other option is to actually find a way to end conversations and he Can’t Do That. So, it’s one of the first things he teaches them to do.
… he regrets it when they use their new trick to get out of his lectures.
Battinson would be so delightfully awkward with a Dick Grayson.
Bruce, curled up on the sofa wearing an oversized hoodie, hair greasy, eye makeup smeared all over his face, staring at a case file:
Dick: How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Bruce:
Dick: Ten tickles!
Bruce:
Dick: Get it? Because…tentacles…ten tickles.
Bruce:
Dick:
Bruce, completely stonefaced, whispering:that’sfunny
Steph, reading a teen girl magazine: Your best friend borrows your lip gloss without asking!
Dick: *gasps, placing a hand on his chest*
Steph: Do you - A) Get a new best friend. B) Push her down the stairs. Or C)…
Tim: What? It doesn’t say that!
Steph: Well yeah, but I think it should definitely be an option.
Dick: I pick B… Down the stairs she goes!
BatFam Twitter #1
Damian Wayne: [enters Wayne Manor with an ostrich while holding a smoothie]
Dick Grayson: Hey, Damian. Whatcha got there?
Damian Wayne: A smoothie.
Tim: How much of what you’re saying do you believe right now?
Dick: About sixty percent.
Tim: I thought it was in the mid-eighties. How’d you pull it off so well?
Dick:Experience.
dick: you are irrationally angry 365 days a year
damian: well, that’s just your personal opinion because i don’t have anger issues!! do you think i have anger issues, barbara?
babs: well, i wouldn’t really call it an ‘issue’. an issue is something you can fix
Dick Grayson (as Robin): I think I’m having a mid-life crisis.
Barbara Gordon (as Batgirl):But you’re not at mid-life…
Dick Grayson: A quarter-life crisis, then.
Barbara Gordon: You’re not at quarter-life either…
Dick Grayson: So what would you call it?
Barbara Gordon: Just a crisis.
Dick Grayson: Oh, yeah.
Cursed fact! Because of the sliding timescale of comics, right now Dick Grayson is the only Batkid to be born before 2000
