#down to agincourt is literature

“I Fell for them, and they feared me. I trained them, and they hated me. They stalked me through the camp for the length of a day and when full night fell, they tried to kill me. I’m angry–no, I’m pissed. I’ve been pissed for two years, I’m not over it, and for a very long time, I didn’t want to be, and humanity could fuck itself with my questionable blessing. It didn’t matter what I did; Dean would die and so would I, we would lose, and the world would end. Even knowing that, I knew I would make the same choice again, I would Fall and survive, forced to live this miserable life, and that pissed me off most of all. You might say I didn’t take it well, but I’d like to see anyone else do better.

Then I met this Dean and he met me; then Dean died but I did not, because I had to save this Dean’s life; then the world didn’t end and we didn’t lose, or at least, not yet. Between then and now, he tried to die as stupidly as possible before my very eyes, asked me to shoot him in the head, taught me to play poker when we both realized we hated chess, and while I’m still angry–pissed, so very, very pissed–I keep forgetting that and no longer even want to be. I never regretted what I did, but now I’m grateful–grateful of all impossible things–that I survived, that I lived, and far, far worse, if I could do all of it again, I would change nothing. He’s my best friend and my commander and my lover, and while I would always have died and killed for him, now I find I want to live for him, too.”

-The Game of God (Down To Agincourt);

by SERPIS